How does how you were raised by your parent(s) affect you as an adult?

my grandparents raised me and i think they did a pretty good job considering i was a bad kid. i hated school and didnt want to go. i would fight to stay home. i don't think it will affect who i will marry because i the type of person that i will choose my own things. i also want approval for some things. i also have low self esteem. if i have kids i will probably raise them along the lines of how i was raised. i didn't date until i was 16. which i feel is a good thing. i was also raised not to trust too many people. which i feel is kind of a good thing and kind of not. because i tend to trust people anyways and give them too many chances. just raise your children as a parent not as a friend. if you treat them as a friend then you'll give into anything they want and you shouldn't do that. kids need guidance not friendship. they can find friends at school. i'm glad my grandparents were strict on me and weren't my friends. i would've been in so much trouble if they had've raised me as a friend.

I think that yes the way our parents raise us has alot of effects on how we will raise our children or in your case future children. I think that you are on the right track though by not wanting to follow in your mothers footsteps and any of us can overcome even parental influence. Just keep yur own mind and when you are thinking about it than always just think of ways to not be that way. Do not let this bug you just live your life for you and do not let any of this get in your way of living!! Good Luck and God Bless!

The way my parents raised me has had a profound affect on the way I have perceived things throughout this world. It also set a foundation on the way I would raise my child. I was raised mainly by my Mother, who really did not need to have any children. My Father worked all the time and then he was killed when I was 8, I have two older brothers. So here was my Mother, a woman with zero patience left alone with 3 small children. The time was when Widows were looked down upon and most children were taken into foster care instead of left with their parents. My Mother did fight to keep us and she managed to do this on her own. She had never worked during her marriage so this too was a new concept. The fact she was a strong religious person got us all through the hard times. I never realised how young my Mother was when she lost her husband until I too reached that age, she was only 36. Her method of hollering and whipping us did not set very well with me, but everyone raised their children that way. I knew if I ever had a child I would not do this. I too did not even want my child to be around my dysfunctional Mother. After I had my son my Mother was so different with him than with me. For one thing she favored boys much more than girls. He was her only grandson and still is, so he was very special in her eyes. She more patience with him than I did. So my point is, your Mother will treat your children, her grandchildren totally different from the way she treated you. The reason, she is not responsible for their actions like she was yours and your sisters. Today I take care of my Mother and actually she is a very sweet woman. Everyone has always Loved her and adored her. She now treats me like she does all her other friends.

My mom was the primary contributor to my lack of self esteem and self confidence. She was the one who would always put me down. She loves me I know, but her ways or methods of dealing with me are should I say… tough love? I was never a fighter- so everytime my mom would tell me that I'm useless- I would just sulk in it and absorb it, until I get my mind set that I am indeed useless. My mom also has a rough tongue, she’s so tactless and she doesn’t care about what others may feel whenever she starts her tactless spells. She tends to hurt a lot of people including me because of this. She doesn’t hurt me physically, although there are times, that she would slap me or pinch me here and there but these only happens when she’s sooo angry- I asked her if she could watch her words because it hurts me and others a lot. She just says she’s too pressured and she has no other outlet for all these pressures so she just expresses it verbally. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm praying that I don’t end up like my mom- verbally abusive and all. I don’t want my child to go through what I'm going through- I want my child to know her worth and to feel good about herself. I am praying, if my mom doesn’t change when the baby is born, then I pray that I be given a stable well compensating job so I can move out as soon as I can.