Saying no
@LightninStrike (5915)
Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
February 2, 2007 4:14am CST
Hi, just felt like dropping this question to all of you to comment on....Do you find it hard to say no to people in general? for example, to your bf/gf/hubby/wife when they want to do something you don't feel like doing, or to the typical clingy friend you don't feel like going out with that night....do you have the approppriate resources to say no without being rude or do you find it hard and decide not to say anything most of the times?
3 people like this
12 responses
@cfrdjlilbrat (248)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Boy, what a question. I can see you're a deep thinker. I do find it hard to say no to anyone. I am what is called a natural submissive. Taking control of anything is hard for me. I tend to get used a lot because it is so hard for me to say no. I like to see people smile even if just for a minute. I have been trying my entire life to learn to say no to people and it just hasn't happened yet. Any suggestions?
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
2 Feb 07
yes, I know what you mean with natural submissive, I know other people like you and they all find it hard to say no. Even some of them sometimes have told me they feel they betray themselves, their nature, if they say no. But i don't agree, if deep in your heart you feel you cannot accept something, or don't like something, one should say no, no matter what nature you belong to. After all dignity is before all the rest.
Anyway I know it's hard to say no sometimes...look I am bossy most of the time lol, and still find it hard sometimes.
My best advice would be speak to what your instinct tells you, and if you feel you must say no, then it's no :)
@anshul1912 (256)
• India
10 Feb 07
i find it hard to say no.......esp. to my loved ones.....sometimes u hve to go against ur wishes to see someone happy.......which inturn will make us happy also n in some way satisfied......
1 person likes this
@mypigbox (2245)
• China
8 Feb 07
I have same experience.It is hard for me to say no for others.Sometimes my friends want to borrow money from me.i don't want to do that.but most times i give them the money.After i will told myself,next time i willn't do it again.usually at next time,same thing happen.
1 person likes this
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
8 Feb 07
yeah...it's hard....i think that when it reaches a point you must stand up for yourself and say NO, but until that happens it's frustrating, isn't it?
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
10 Feb 07
holy hell, you say things in such a thing that i will remember not to ever have a fight with you in the future :P lol...just kidding....thanks for the post hon.
@Ren_rocks (87)
• India
3 Feb 07
One shud say no if there is a need to. Theres no need to be rude as such. If u dont wanna go out or to the place where ur frnds wants to go, u just have to say no and preferable give the person some other alternative.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
3 Feb 07
I know what you're saying Ren...but still sometimes it's hard because you think "ok, i will let it pass this time"..you know what i mean? well of course unless it's something that you REALLY don't want to do, or is important etc.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
3 Feb 07
I know what you're saying Ren...but still sometimes it's hard because you think "ok, i will let it pass this time"..you know what i mean? well of course unless it's something that you REALLY don't want to do, or is important etc.
thanks for your post
@cfrdjpossum (22)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I always give in, I would rather do that and try to enjoy myself than worry about how I will never hear the end of his discomfort.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
9 Feb 07
many people do what you do, yes. thanks for the comment.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
2 Feb 07
well glad to hear that, if you always said no it would be all very complicated hehehe....i think we all give up and say yes to avoid problems, or make others happy now and then. Thing is some people find it really hard to say no at any time.
1 person likes this
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
12 Feb 07
With just a few people I have trouble saying no. But to most of my friends or family if I don't feel comfortable doing something for them I will tell them no. But for husband it's hard to say no. But then again he doesn't usually me to do much for him. Very independent. That's what I love about him. So when he does ask me I love doing things for him.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
12 Feb 07
sweet what you said about hubby, he is lucky to have you after all!! hehe...being silly here. thanks for the post.
@jennybeans (912)
• United States
3 Feb 07
No. I think sometimes you have to say no, otherwise people will walk all over you. If I don't feel like doing something, or I can't, I tell the truth. It's so much easier than trying to find an excuse or to maintain an untruth.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
3 Feb 07
it's great that you find such determination to stand up for what you think jennybeans, awesome :)
@Sasselle (698)
• Australia
2 Feb 07
I hate saying no most of the time. I'm not sure why - I guess usually it's just easier to say yes and go with the flow.
I especially hate it when you have a "friend" who knows you have trouble saying no to them and they drag you into all sorts of situations! I don't have many people like this in my life anymore but there was a time when I did and just felt like I was being taken advantage of constantly.
Realistically it's only a 2 letter word ... how hard can it be to say!
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
9 Feb 07
Funny you should ask that. It's something that I think about often. It is a bit hard for me to tell no to people, specially people I care about.
I am more of a "Yes... but " person than a "NO! Because" . Sometimes I achieve the same results just in a different way, but I keep working on my ability to say no when it's needed just because sometimes is needed.
I think that with so many years practice I've gotten better but not completely :)
