I need every 1's opinions!
By mgmagana
@mgmagana (3618)
United States
18 responses
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
24 Feb 07
No, its not unfair to ask your husband to do "family' things with you and the kids in the weekends - its pretty much the only time when you can do family stuff together if he works all week. I usually ask my husband how he feels Saturday morning and if he's up to doing something. If not, then that is ok, i'll go with my son and do stuff together. If he feels good then we plan either Saturday or Sunday for a family outing. I try to give him at least one day of the weekend to have some time to himself.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
24 Feb 07
i do too, he likes to rest on sundays! so i like to be able to do something on saturdays, my mom was a real home body, she didn't like to do anything, i don't want to put my kids through the same thing! i feel sometimes i'm like that too, so i try to do stuff so my kids r not like that!
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
24 Feb 07
No, it is not unfair. It is what makes a family. You need the interaction. You should plan some time for him to relax even if it is everyone watching a movie together. They will not be kids forever. You need to make what time you have count.
1 person likes this
@alanna_liadon (189)
• United States
24 Feb 07
Depends on what you're asking him to do, and how often. Sounds like he has a hard job and works very hard to provide financially for you and the kids. I think it is reasonable for him to want time to relax and spend alone and unwind after a long week. Maybe you can let him relax on Saturday and go do family stuff on Sunday after he's rested and has energy to give. I am sure he wants to spend time with you and the kids but if you've had a full-time job then I hope you remember the hard weeks and not just the easy ones.
I think you should do more outings during the week, shake up your own routine a bit, meet other moms in your area and get together. It sounds like you are relying on him to entertain you on the weekends but a man needs time to unwind or he will turn into a giant stress ball and never have any energy left to give you.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
24 Feb 07
i understand wut u're saying, but during the week i do have time constraints with my son going to school, my 3 year old is going to start pre school for half days also my oldest has sports, so i have to be able to pick them up, and my husband wants dinner by the time he gets home. he does like to rest on sundays but lately he's only working 4 days a week for the past month, so work can't be that hard with 3 days off! even on the 3rd day which is usually monday, he doesn't like to do anything!
@Mishi_Bente_Tres (127)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
oh.. yeah.. maybe its unfair.. but u can also understand ur husband because he works for you and your children. just take care of him when he is resting. let him feel that you are there with him during his stressing days. let him feel your love for him.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
24 Feb 07
but they're not my children, they're our children u make it sound like he's doing us a favor, he's not, it's his responsibility, i'm doing my part, i go to school, and take care of our kids and make sure dinner is ready the bed is made. i do let him rest, it's not like i make him do stuff every weekend, that would cost a lot of money, it's just once in a while and lately he's been working 4 days a week, so he gets 3 days off!
@limcyjain (3516)
• India
12 Feb 07
No i dont think so it is unfair to ask your husband to help you on weekends. My husband too hepls me out. Moreover the stay at home women too has a good amount of work in her hand. She too needs a day off just like men want too.
1 person likes this
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
13 Feb 07
i know wut u mean, my husband had 4 days off this week including sat. and sun. and i told him on the 4th day u already had 3 days of rest u need to do something around the house and work today! he did some stuff but of course his working out took up 3 hrs. of our day! so we couldn't put my sons tetherball pole together!
@caramello (4377)
• Australia
9 Feb 07
Maybe he has one day of the weekend to do what he wants and then you spend the other day as a family and do something outside of the house that sounds rather fair, maybe suggest this and then everyone is happy! Good luck!
@rosey3223 (1566)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Well, if you are unfair you might as well say that I am too!! I completely understand what you are talking about cause I am a stay at home mommy too. My guy is always so friggin tired by the weekend that he really doesn't want to do anything (not like we have the money to do anything anyway). But what gets me is that instead of going somewhere, he always goes outside to fix the vehicles. I understand that they are our transportation and that if they are broken then he can't go to work, but what the heck about me and the kids!!!??!!
So I do understand, and no, you are not being unfair. I'd like to tell you what to do differently, but since I am in the same boat, I can't give any advice that I haven't already "been there done that" with, because non of it has worked for me. But...I have complained many times and now, even though we don't go out, he still tries to be in the house more and spend time with us.
@rosey3223 (1566)
• United States
11 Feb 07
MAN!!! That is exactly how I feel when mine goes and works on the vehicles!! Trippy!! LMAO!! At least I know I am not the only one who is going through this and I don't have to feel like an a$$ for the way I feel cause apparently I am not the only one!!
@krislouiebaby (2347)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
no , it is not unfair,you should talk to him what you feel and what you want to do, after all he is your better half, and good and open communication is needed to have a happy relationship.
but one thing i want to say to you dear, you said your husband works all week, so he is resting during weekends,
you should understand him, he needs rest.
and of course on your part, you want to unwind too, right?
just in case you wanna do something,,,,you can do it at home,,,plan a backyard activities, have barbeque party in the convenience of your own home, do not expect your husband and you go malling and he will drive,,because he wants to rest .a little understanding and patient will do...
goodluck and have a nice day....
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Not wrong at all we all have to learn to balance work and home. He needs his rest but his kids need him too.
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I don't think that it is wrong. Just because you don't work doesn't mean that you don't get tired of being home or from running around the house. I do think that it should be a compromise like on Saturday go out and have fun with the kids and on sunday something relaxing like renting videos. That way he gets to relax and you have time that has been spent with him
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
12 Feb 07
I don't think it's wrong at all. It's wrong for him to get upset about it, because it's his family as well as yours and he should take just as much part of it as you.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
4 Feb 07
nope. it's not wrong if you'll ask some time from your husband with you and the kids during the weekends. it's just asking anyway. who knows! he might agree on your idea and spend time with you and the kids. it won't hurt to ask. plus, you have all the rights in the world to ask him to be with you during the weekends! so, feel free to open up to your husband. he'll surely appreciate you talking about this to him.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
4 Feb 07
well sometimes he comes off with an attitude if i suggest we go somewhere, "wut where do u wanna go" and that ruins it for me! it just tells me he doesn't want to do anything! i just feel bad since i don't work i rest all week but at the same time we do need to do things as a family not just sit around and watch him sleep! thx for the advice!
@dienutza (449)
• Romania
7 Feb 07
seee...why don't you work too?..if you worked then you wouldn't be so bored staying at home because you wouldn't have so much free time...so your husband is very very tired when he comes home that's why he doesn';t need to get some fun when his powers are so low...i think that you should get a job as well and then you'll see how hard is working and then you wouldn't want to get so much fun because you're always tired...but in the same time you should talk with him and tell him what botheres you and probably then he will try to make some free time for you and the kids..
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
7 Feb 07
i used to work a full time job, but we were never able to have any free time because i worked nights and weekends, when he was home so he can watch the kids! the whole purpose for me not working is to be home raising our kids and if u have any u should know that 's a full time job on it's own! i'm the one getting up at night with the baby, waking up early to get my oldest ready for school and still dealing with my 3 yr old and 1 yr old ! cleaning and cooking ! at least he gets home and rest i still work when he's laying down eating his dinner that I cooked and then i have to remake the bed every night before he goes to bed plus make sure the kids r showered and ready for bed! so i know how he feels even when i worked a full time job, i'd still come home and do all these things, that's why i stopped working so i can just focus on my kids full time! but i have talked to him and he's willing to do things on some weekends, it just upsets me how he moans about it! when he asks me to go do things for him i don't respond that way! i understand he's tired but i compare him to my dad! my dad was working full time then come home make us 4 kids dinner clean the house and made sure we went to school the next day! plus we played sports so he'd deal with that on the weekends and weekdays after school! if my dad can do it then there's no excuse why no other man can't do those things! i'm not telling my husband to do everything, just to spend quality time with us on the weekends! that's not too much to ask!
1 person likes this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I think you're doing just the right thing, it's both of your responsibilities as parents to take care of your kids. I guess it would not be hard for your husband to look after your kids, since weekends are for family recreations and getting together. Just try talking to him, and give him time to adjust on things that he's never used to do.
@ktroth (378)
• United States
4 Feb 07
First of all, I doubt that you rest all week. If you are a stay at home mom, you work! It's a different kind of work than what he does, but in some ways it's harder because you're always at work, even if you're not actually working 100% of the time. He gets to leave work.
Second of all, if he's worked all week, chances are he's had little time with your or the kids. He should WANT to do things with all of you, no matter how tired he is. And you have every right to expect him to do things. I would suggest you sit down and talk to him about it. A compromise would be to make plans away from home for one of the days and stay home the other day.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
4 Feb 07
thx for ur response, see it's not like i ask him to do something every weekend, and ur right my 3 kids keep me busy! today i wanted to do something cause it's so beautiful outside and at 2 o' clock he's all " i'm gonna go work out" i was like wut in the middle of the day when u get back it's gonna be dark and cold already and sure enough it's 5 o'clock and the sun's already going down and he's still not home! he said i never get to work out! the weekends r the only time but he should've went in the morning and not have took up my day!
