Falling in love with love: Some people can't stand without a bf/gf

@manong05 (5029)
Philippines
February 3, 2007 9:55pm CST
As if not having someone makes them a "lesser person" Must a loveless life be a cause for worry?
2 people like this
4 responses
@samsonskola (3357)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I know people like that. They just go from one person to the other simply because they can't stand to be without someone. I've been single for a long time, and I can tell you that I think I'm a better person for NOT having someone. I live my own life, it doesn't revolve around someone else, I do the things I want to do, I don't have to compromise anything with anyone, and I'm very happy. I don't want to go back to living with someone. I really feel sorry for those that have to be in a relationship, because they usually wind up with the real losers, and also often end up in an abusive relationship.
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
Someone has to grow into a level of maturity to be able to see things the way you see it. Some people equate singleness with loneliness which shouldn't be the case. I agree with you. There are people in my circle of friends who can't seem to stand life without being in a relationship and most of them often end up in an abusive relationship.
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
4 Feb 07
Well, I could debate the idea of a loveless life, considering someone who remains single still has love in their life in one way or the other (family, friends, etc), but since I know what you mean, I won't nitpick over word usage, lol. Here's where I differ from the other strong, confident women. I do prefer to be in a relationship at all times. I've never been good at being single, so I prefered not to stay that way for long. I don't think I've been single for any long period of time in my entire life, and the longest that comes to mind is a month. Since my self esteem is in check, it's obviously not a security issue, or a dependency, since I'm not really lacking in self confidence. I think it's just simply that, personally, I don't believe I was built to be alone. I'm the talkative type, a conversationalist, and someone that requires constant intellectual stimulation. Living alone screams of isolation, even for short periods of time, when I thrive in hectic or busy atmospheres .... hence the reason I enjoy having 5 kids. There's never a dull moment. I like having someone close by to talk to, bounce ideas off of, lean on and offer my own support to. To be put simpler, I like being half of a whole, instead of attempting to be that whole on my own. I prefer to be one of the pieces to the puzzle, instead of being the puzzle. I don't know if that even makes sense outside my own little mind, lol. Regardless ... people often assume that people like me who prefer to be IN relationships at all times are insecure, needy, dependent, etc, and they are very inaccurate stereotypes. I'm sure there are people like that, just as there are insecure and needy people who stay single. But it's not any more accurate to use a blanket stereotype in this instance than in any other.
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
Wow! a very objective and informative response. Actually I have discussed this subject with my friends in parties and in several gatherings and this is the first time I see an explanation from your perspective. Yes, it's not always a sign of weakness or dependency but of strength finding oneself in a relationship. Not getting into a relationship just for the sake of having someone. Cheers.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
i cant feel for that. ever since i fell in love its always the man im with right now. and from the time i loved him until forver, i never lost a day with out him. hence, i know someone who seems to think she's less a person when single. i told her never to worry cause love never goes. its just its a man who you thinks loves you differently. but world goes on & somebody still loves you though you dont have a guy for the moment. your always being loved by your family & friends. just as i do. losing a lover makes us stronger & will never make us less a person, thus it made us more of a person cause we have learned from it & lived wiht it. :)
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
Yes, no one in this world is actually "loveless". There are always people who love us and people we love be they our relatives or close friends. You are fortunate enough to find someone who sticks with you through thick and thin. That's great. Other people don't but for them it was never the end of the world. In fact they found their lives in the experiences of being alone.
• United States
4 Feb 07
hello there! Im loving your thread btw! I used to be like that..when i was with my ex for 7 years..and when he left..i was lost..and i jumped from relationship to another..then i had Skylar when i was 28..and then i quit the dating scene to concentrate on him..and ya know..I do get a bit lonely every now and again..but I dont feel i need a boyfriend anymore..in fact im very content and happy with my life now..maybe im set in my own way since its been almost 5 yrs now..and i dont have the time to date anyways..but if it happens,,and i do find someone i will give it a chance.,but no..i dont feel you have to have someone to be a whole person..ithink everyone needs to be alone for a time in there life and Find themselves..and anyone that thinks that its wrong to be single..or feel bad for someone who is..ovioulsy hasnt FOUND THEMSLEVES YET..and are scared themselves to be alone..have a good day!
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
I agree, that being alone, for some people is a scary thought. It reminded of a lady friend who called me up one day, actually very early in the morning. She said, "It just dawned on me that I'm already in my late forties and am still alone, Oh my God! I feel terrible" What's gonna happen to me?" I gave her some word of advice to make her feel a little better. That was almost 7 yrs.ago and now she is still on her own and seems to be enjoying life more. Isn't that amazing! How people's outlook in life changes through the passage of time.