Is it fine to spank someone else kids?

Malaysia
February 4, 2007 10:12pm CST
Sometimes i see kids of my friends are very indisciplined and stubborn. They do not listen to anyone if the parents are not around. Is it okay to spank kids at that time to control them? If you are a parent then would you allow your friends to discipline & spank your kids in your absence?
4 people like this
16 responses
@mrslitz (30)
• United States
5 Feb 07
There is absolutely no way I'd allow anyone to spank my kids. I don't beleive in spanking at all. Even if I did though, I'd have a pretty tough time letting some one else do it. I think that you should talk to your friends about their children. If that doesn't help, you should consider not watching them anymore.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
5 Feb 07
but sometimes the kids behave very well in front of parents and during their absence they turn into totally different person. How to explain to friends about something they don't really see?
• United States
5 Feb 07
I think that some part of them knows. But even if they don't, then you are a good friend to bring it to their attention. I wouldn't confront them about it, just when they come to pick their kids up and they ask, "How did everything go?" Be honest... "Well, little Johnny was bad the whole time."
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
5 Feb 07
Ya, i think that is appropriate to tell the parents honestly and straight forward and hope that they will take note of it.
@wdiong (1817)
• Singapore
6 Feb 07
No, I don't think it's a good idea to spank someone's kids because I would not like others to do that to my kids.I don't mind my friends complaining to me about my kids' misbeviour but I'd rather that it's me doing the spanking.
• Malaysia
6 Feb 07
tks for the reply
@Katie88 (87)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Only if you're a babysitter.
1 person likes this
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I think it's not only wrong but it's illegal to hurt someon else's kid. What the appropriate thing to do is to talk with the parents.
@maveso (46)
• Malaysia
6 Feb 07
I think disciplining friend's children is fine because you do not want your friend's children to be indisciplined. But must inform your fren about it. So that they are aware and do a further teachings and coaching. But when it comes to spanking, I guess only parents should do that cos its very personal and they only have the rights. You do not want anyone just spank your kid at any time. These are my thoughts.
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
5 Feb 07
My house, my rules, my methods, or find yourself another sitter or be prepared to pay all costs, damages and hospital expense for anything your rotten out of control child thinks he/she can get away with and if bad enough I will call the cops and CPS on the parents who let their kids run amok and think they are in control. Spanking their child would be the least of thier worries. I spank kids who will not behave. It is quick and very effective. I have seen over and over and over again people who do not believe in spanking end up in trouble with their kids being the reason for it.
• United States
5 Feb 07
There are many effective ways to discipline a child without resorting to spanking.
• United States
5 Feb 07
Oh, and I'd like to add that if I had asked my friend to watch my child, I would go over what we use for discipline before I left just as I would with any sitter. If I got back and they told me they struck my child, I would no longer be friends with them. Period.
• Malaysia
5 Feb 07
Well, Spanking may not be effective with all kids but most of them understand this way of discipline compared to other ways. But i like your line.. "My House, My Rules"
• United States
5 Feb 07
spanking - someone else spanking you child.  is it right or wrong?
This is a very good topic that should be discussed. I as a parent, do not feel that anyone else should be spanking my child unless it's me and their father. It's no one elses right to threaten my child either. I don't know why people bring it upon themselves to spank a child, when the child is not theirs to spank.
• Malaysia
6 Feb 07
Well i am talking about situation where i am babysitting a kid and he is out of control. The parents are not anywhere near and the kid will be with me the whole day.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 07
Then i suggest talking to the parents and ask them how they want you to handle the child when the child is out of control and will not behave. Get the parents permission, before you react. k? and good luck
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
6 Feb 07
yeah, getting parents permission seems good.
@zabmer (36)
• India
19 Feb 08
Oh yeah its ok to spank any kid if he does something dangerous to put his life at risk in absence of its parents.Just so to control and keep him out of danger if he repeats the dangerous act and do not listen to you or else you will be responsible if anything happens to the kid.You cannot beat the hell out of the kid but can spank a little him to get him alert.
• United States
21 Feb 08
you have to qualify that with what country you are talking about..in the US..it is a grey area and you could go to jail or face a fine/probation..if charges were brought..even hitting your own kid in public will get you on TV and a court appearance..i am not sayings its right or wrong..it happens to be the law of the land..:"get him alert"..what are you thinking? this would not fly in a court of law
@ebsharer (5516)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Let me start by being honest I didn't read the other responses yet. Because I will just agree to disagree with them I am sure. As a parent I have my own way of disciplining my kids and for the most part that does not include spanking. If I leave my child with some one which doesn't happen often they know how I discipline my kids. They know that we have time out and take away tv / video game time. My kids are pretty well behaved and I have never had a sitter tell me they had to put my child in time out. I may be a lucky one or just parent well in that department. As for other kids. If there is a child that I have to care for and they are unrully or stubborn as you put it I would either implement the discipline that the parent does or my own. At no point would I spank another persons child. I can't see any reason there would ever be to have to spank a child. If some one did in fact spank my child I don't think that they would watch them again. I would need really good reason to let my child go back there. Just one moms opinion.
• United States
21 Feb 08
totally agree with you as i am in the same boat..but relatives came over from Germany and hit the twelve year old son in the head in the local mall and you should have seen the fathers face when the police told him he could be hauled into jail asap if he did this again..the german guy looked at me and i told him.."Willi ..you better thank the officer..he is letting you off easy.." to this day i don't think he believes me..but i know for a fact..assault is assault and you cannot hit your own kid...anywhere..but what do i know..my folks never hit me and i never had to do the same for my kids..some places they still do..sad to say
• Canada
8 Feb 07
well i don't spank my child so i would never allow someone else to spank my kid. I was spanked as a young child but as i got older and my parents figured out that it wasn't working they started using things to hit me with. i used to get hit by kitchen spoons, and even a metal hanger once. this is why i don't agree with spanking kids. I didn't learn anything from it and i was a very violent child. i think it just teaches violence.
• Malaysia
8 Feb 07
sorry to know that. Hitting with spoons and metal hanger or any other things is not right at all. Kids grew up feeling its okay to hit using things.
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
I would never spank someone elses kid..no way.thats going beyond the line..I could ask the child's parent to discipline the child if ever he/she does something but never would i spank anyones child..because i have a kid of my own and i dont think i would like the idea of anyone spanking my kid in my absence.
• Malaysia
6 Feb 07
appreciate your reply
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
its a big NO.i wont allow it.it is no longer your responsibility to discipline someone else kids.for that instances for you to avoid those situation you have to get away to that kid.or have more patience.
• Malaysia
5 Feb 07
thanks for ur reply though i don't agree that it is not my responsibility to discipline someone else kids.
• United States
21 Feb 08
first of all my dad or mother never hit us kids..and my folks were German American and most of the old country used to do a lot of this spanking plus..??? i never hit my son or daughter..it was not done..sorry... if a babysitter or anyone hits your kids in the US..if could mean assault and battery..and you could go to jail..even probation would still cost you a heavy fine and you have to get a probabtion officer..and take anger management..stuff like see a docotor so they could see what is in your head.. yes, i am not making this up..you can go to jail in the US for kicking a squirell..what would they do if you hit a kid? plenty.. i am not saying kids don't get abused or hit..its just against the law of the land period..you cannot hit anyones kid..not even your own..not your wife or your girlfriend..although some may like this..i am sure..but it is not legal..sorry..maybe its just the way it is in the US?
• Argentina
19 Feb 08
I think not, i believe spanking as a form of discipline is good but when dealing with someone else's child then i'd disagree (even if they deserve it :P) because the parents may not like someone else spanking their chlidren or spanking at all and it could lead to trouble. But if you ask the kid's parents beforehand and they give you permission then i think it's ok...otherwise no.
@vokey9472 (1488)
• United States
11 Feb 07
That is the biggest no-no in the book. Never ever spank anyone else's child. Some people are pro-spanking and other are not. Even as a parent who believes in spanking I would never allow anyone else to spank my child. Not even my own mother, who spanked me, is allowed to spank my child. I do however, believe that if you are in charge you can discipline another's child with a time-out or taking away of a certain toy. It is something that you would have to discuss with the other parents. If you are babysitting someone's children then you have to have firm rules spelled out on how to discipline and if it's in your home, you have to make sure that the parents are aware that if there are any damages to your property, they will be held responsible.
@clod0327 (817)
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
I don't think it's rigth to spank other kids to control them. Those kids have parents and it is the job of the parents and not yours, to discipline their kids. I don't want other parents to be disciplining my kids also so I won't do that to other parents' kids.