Feeling Blue Today

United States
February 6, 2007 3:51pm CST
I am not trying to get sympathy or anything else, I just want to know if others out there go through something similar to what is going on with me today. Today is my Mother's birthday. She is gone though, as in passed away. She died at the age of 50, back in 1977. So it has been a really long long time, and I shouldn't still be grieving, but I am. I always remember her on her birthday. She would be 80 years old today, if God hadn't taken her home. I just can't stop feeling sad and unhappy today. Can anyone help, do you have any suggestions that will work? I have been trying to immerse myself in other things, but she keeps coming back into my mind.
21 people like this
40 responses
• United States
6 Feb 07
There's no reason why you shouldn't grieve the loss of your mother. You're still living your life and going on but bouts of grief are so very real and normal! It's perfectly fine to feel a loss still. There are events in your life that you would have loved to have her here to share, including something as spectacular as her 80th birthday. Write her a birthday letter and tell her how you feel, tell her how much you miss her and tell her how very much you love her. Then remember that there will be a point that you can once again be together (if you believe in the after life) and celebrate the many birthdays missed! You're perfectly normal to continue to feel grief. Her passing doesn't take her out of your heart forever.
• United States
25 Apr 07
I do believe I will see her beautiful face again in heaven. Bless you my friend hockeygal. I value your friendship. I did write a letter as you suggested and it really helped. Hugs and thank you just don't seem like enough.
@AskAlly (3625)
• Canada
6 Feb 07
I think I will shed a tear with you! I don't see anything wrong with grieving for your mother. By remebering her you bring her memories back to life. Isn't that how we live on, in the heats and memories of our loved ones? Oh this is making me cry too, but who better than to share tears with than your friends huh? I would miss my mother terribly. I think if it was me I would get some of my mom's favorite flowers on her birthday to put in my house. I would get out albumns and pictures and have a good cry. Be glad that you have memories of her that can make you feel this way. She knows she is loved and I think that she is reaching down right now to embrace her loving daughter.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Apr 07
God Bless you. I cried the first time I read this, and I'm crying again now. I couldn't respond to many of these posts especially at the time. I just felt too raw. You are a very special friend, and may God always bless you. Thank you for crying with me.
1 person likes this
@smuggeridge (2148)
6 Feb 07
I don't think theres anything weird about still grieving for your mum. You obviously loved here very much and still miss her. I would just recommend trying to think of all the good memories that you have of her, all the good times you had together. I hope you feel less blue soon
2 people like this
• United States
6 Feb 07
I share your pain, as I lost my mother and father, and still miss them. I do what you do. I am very sorry you are still hurting, but it is normal. Try looking at it like this. Your mom left her earthly body, but is in heaven in a spirital new body. She is still with you daily. One day, you will be together for eternity. I lost my dad when I was 17, and he was 48. It still seems like yesterday. I wish you the best my dear. Blessings, M&M
2 people like this
• Australia
6 Feb 07
Im so sorry that your mother has passed away. And one thing though, no matter how long ago it was, it doesnt really erase the pain or the sadness, and it is normal if you are still grieving for her in times like her birthday etc. It is normal that you misses her. But remember, she is now happy, in eternal life. I dont have the same experience as you do, so Im not sure if I could really2 help you or not. But I could suggest that instead of feeling sad, you should celebrate a little you know maybe with your family etc gather together and bring cakes etc and then pray for her on this birthday.. and then maybe you guys can talk about her, you know the happy memories that you have of her, the laughter, the jokes she used to tell, or if you already have kids, then tell them about their grandmas that they may not remember or maybe havent even seen. Remember the happy times, the funny times together with her. Dont try to push her away from your mind. It might be her way of telling you please do not forget me today or something.. maybe she is trying to be with you on her birthday.. Or you can also go to her grave if you want to and do the birthday celebration in there. I hope that can help elevate your feeling a little bit :)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I have to agree with babydolphins' comment! You can also make a memoriel website for her....free! Here is a website you might concider...http://memory-of.com
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Feb 07
I agree as well... i just lost my mom 2 years ago and i was still living with her so every thing i do it reminds me of her i was driving her car and living in the same apartment ... i had to move out and sell the car i couldent deal with it anymore but now i try to just remember that even thou she's gone she's still here and she's still with me and i just live to make her proud and i know she is ... i know she's not here anymore and it really hurts when i do something exciting in my life and i cant run to the phone or run to her and share my excitment with her but i know she sees and she's happy for me and proud so thats what keeps me smiling.
• United States
25 Apr 07
Bless you all, and to all of those that have responded to this discussion. I have read every one and deeply appreciate all your support and love. It made the day much easier to get through. It has been hard for me to come back on here and respond to each and every one of you, because it just hurts. I want all of you to know that I have rated each response and how much I value everyone on here that's offered inspiration and comforting words. May God Bless each of you. I love all the suggestions as well, and did do many of them. I am trying to prepare a memorial website for my mom, so it will be there for her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Hugs to all. Please don't think bad of me for not responding to each individual post.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
6 Feb 07
Its hard when you lose your mom. I lost mine when i was 12. On special occasions or when I am sad I think of her and wish she were here to comfort me like she did when I was little. Try to think of special times you two had togwether . Memories are wonderful to have.Thats the only thing that keeps me going when I feel down and think of my mom.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Apr 07
That's how old I was as well. It's hard growing up, especially as a teen girl without a mom. God bless you. I know what you mean. Hugs.
1 person likes this
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Hey CDW :D I haven't been very active lately-sorry I wasn't here to give you comfort on your Mother's birthday I know you are aware I lost my Momma too & you gave me comfort when I needed it (i think that's how we became MyLot friends) Honey,I know it's hard there's not one thing a person can do that comforts me when I miss my Momma I get pissed @ the world for losing her & cry uncontrollably The only thing I can think of is just say it like you told me babe, "Your Mother would want to see you happy" I hope you're feeling better today-I'm praying for your situation +'s 4 U :)
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 07
It is how we became acquainted my friend. Bless you. I know you weren't posting here, but you were there in my heart, because I knew you would be there to offer comfort and support. I do feel much better, but it's been hard for me to come back to this discussion and post thank you's. I have read them all and appreciated every one and their love. I've rated them all as well. God Bless You meme+++++++++++
1 person likes this
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
26 Apr 07
CDW-You're a Great friend Hugs ++++
@karsted (240)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
I feel the same way when my mother's birthday comes around ( December 25 ). I think you are just missing your mom, and there is nothing wrong with that. The passing of time doesnt change how much you love her. My mother passed in 1989.I know how you feel, being a motherless daughter myself. At times it is very hard. You should try to remember all the good times. And remember, there is no time limit to grief.
• United States
25 Apr 07
I am sorry for your loss as well. It is hard being a motherless daughter. I've actually read that book, it's quite good. Thank you and may you be blessed.
@winky73 (1404)
• United States
7 Feb 07
It is really not a bad thing to feel like that....I go through that sometimes as well.The one thing that seems to help me the most is taking out a old picture and just talk to the person.I know....that sounds just a little crazy....but just being able to express how much you miss someone seems to help me.When I look at their picture I start to think about all the good memories I have of them and that usually makes me smile again.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
Good Morning, May I suggest that rather than try to banish your mother from your thoughts, that you celebrate the fact that she is your mother and all her accomplishments, I know it has been a long time since you last saw her. Why not sit down with a cup of coffee or tea and have a catch up session with her, Tell her all the wonderful things that have happened to you, and give her the credit that is due her for these accomplishments, that you have done. Listen in you mind and heart to her joy for you, It is alright to remember your mother on her birthday and if you can bring her back mentally and have a good visit, you will remain connected to her and not feel her loss near as much, I often will be doing some thing and think how much my mother would laugh at me for being so serious, when the thing is actually funny. This Woman gave you life, so celebrate it, after all she has only stepped in to the next room, and hopefully you will see her again
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I am so sorry that you are feeling down today. I dont think you will ever stop grieving for your mother. My grandmother passed away Dec 2,2000 and every times it snows I remember her. It had not snowed that year and just as soon as she passed, It started snowing. So when it snows I will go out in the woods and think of her. I call it our time together. On mothers day one year I bought a bunch of balloons for a little girl that had lost her mom. I told her while she was waiting on me to come and get her to write her mom a letter. I told her to tell her mom everything that she wished she could have told her while she was here. Then I told her to put it in a envelope and seal it up. When I Picked up the little girl, I took her to her moms grave. We tied the letter to the balloons. She let them go. I told her that we was sending a letter to her mom. So we sat and watched until we could not see the balloons anymore.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 07
I cried the first time I read this, and now I am crying again. You are a true angel. May God bless and keep you. You have no idea what you did for that little girl. If someone had taken the time with me to do something like that, it would have meant so much. You will have a place in that little one's heart forever. Thank you.
• United States
7 Feb 07
Believe me when i tell you that i know how you are feeling.My mom passed in sept.2000 and my dad passed in nov.2003. My bad days are still around but not as much.My mom's birthday is on the same day as mine so for the first couple of years i didn't want to even celebrate my birthday.Now i don't feel so bad celebrating it. I try to think that that is the day my mom's life started and think about her and try to be happy about her life. I have a harder time on the day's that my parents passed. That is one of the sadder days. The holidays aren't too bad now either.I remember them on those days and enjoy the time i am spending with my family and try to make it so when i am gone they will remember me and the good times that we had. I know that all people grieve differently but i don't see anything wrong with feeling sad on these days. Just remeber that your mother is home with God and that she is ok.
• United States
25 Apr 07
I am sorry for your losses as well. May God watch over and bless and keep you. Thank you for the comforting words.
@kitkat1 (1227)
• Canada
27 Apr 07
Who cares if you are trying to get sympathy cause you go it from me ok love. I do know how you feel i dont know how i am gonna feel on my nanas birthday i am sure it wont be a good day. A part of you is gone forever no matter how long ago it has and impact sweety and it always will. You need a shoulder to cry on for any reason look me up u know where i am at sugar. And try to think about the good times with your mom see it that cheers ya up i do that it helps. See ya chick and hang in there ok.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 07
Oh, thank you so much. You are so sweet. I will look you up. And you do the same if you need a shoulder. Bless you. You hang in there too.
24 Apr 07
My mother passed away 2 years ago , and it would have been her birthday last week . That day I felt irritable and snappy and didn't seam to be able to pull myself out of it . But then I imagined what my Mum would have said to me if she was looking down at me , and i started laughing !!!!! I can hear her now , as I type , telling me to pull myself together and stop being silly !!!!! Ok Mum , will try !!!! Loving thoughts to you
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 07
Oh, loving thoughts to you as well, and thank you for responding. I appreciate you warmth. Blessings.
26 Apr 07
you are very welcome
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
I think that is natural...you never forget loved ones who have passed. However...I think that you can perhaps have a little ritual on that day...and talk to her...and tell her how you feel...and that you miss her..and then let it go...I think that would help...
1 person likes this
@dienutza (449)
• Romania
7 Feb 07
when god breaks up a relationship that close as you and your mother have then..the one who still lives should think about the other one,that's why you still keep thinking of her every moment.You should think only at the great moments that you and your mother had spent together and only the funny and excitment moments that made you smile or laugh..but without crying..and if you really begin to cry that's because there are tears of joy..don't be so sad..i know that she doesn't like seeing you cry and when she sees you she also begins to cry...please don't cry anymore because it's useless..try to smile and she will smile to..wherever she is..in heaven...kiss and take care of you:-***
1 person likes this
@rakinitin (685)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
You will always experience seperation anxiety over your mother but remember that when she sees you are sad, that will make her sad too. She wants to see you happy. You should celebrate her birthday on this day not mourn it. I'm afraid I have no profound wisdom to impart on you but there are a lot of people here at mylot that have you in their thoughts and I hope the grey cloud clears and lets the sun shine for you.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I know just what you are dealing with. my mother past away in 1994, and i still feel a little blue on her birthday. what helps me is every year on her b-day i write her a letter. just telling her how i am doing, how the children are things like that. let me tell you it helps alot. you just go on and remember your mother. remember all the great moments you shared. remember the things that make you smile, and write to her.
@loitran (82)
• Vietnam
7 Feb 07
Sorry to hear that! Well, but I must say that "let's bygone be bygone". Your mother cannot come back again. Thinking about her is all that you can do!
1 person likes this
@meli_p (15)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I'm so sorry that your mom passed away, the only thing i can tell you is that she is in a better place, and that she wants you to be happy, she's always watching you, and taking care of you, because she is your mother, and even if she's not here in this planet, she will always be your mother, try to be happy this day, because a day like this, she was born, celebrate today in her honor, i'm sure she doesn't like seeing you sad because of her, so make her happy, i'm sure she will love that.