My sister thinks her friends are very important for her than me and our family!!

@archiee (322)
India
February 7, 2007 11:21pm CST
my sister thinks that her friends are everything for her. she spends around 17 hours in a day with her friends. we both stay outside our home town for higher studies and it really makes me very lonelly to be alone as i don't have many friends who meet me, infact i don't have any. when we go home in vacations or wekends, she's always in a hurry to return back for her friends. if she's at all at home sometimes she will stick to her mobile phone the whole time. it really hurts me alot. please tell as to what can i do?
16 people like this
53 responses
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
Maybe she is still immature!And she is having good time with her friends!Dont worry,just do your best and be with her in times when she needs you!Sooner or later she will realized how important family in her life!
@jerpogz13 (283)
• Antarctica
8 Feb 07
my sister too! shes not contented at home.she always go to friends house.when shes at home shes at her room she always choose being alone.but ive noticed that it is natural being with friends.all she wants is companion to other.
2 people like this
@hellboi (661)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
One of the reasons I can think of is that she enjoys the company of her friends so much. I'm not here to judge but maybe you are just so uptight at home. Why don't you try to bring a little bit of fun at home. Like watching DVDs, playing some games or some sport, or it could be just doing things you both like. Be sure to involve all of your family members, it should be a family affair. Another reason could be that her friends listen to her well. Some kids are so attention deprived by their parents that they turn to their friends for help. They often see their siblings as competition to their parents attention so you might not wonder why she might not see you as an alternative. If this is the case, try to reach out to her and talk to her. Be a sister who is ready to support and help her out when she needs some. Later on she'll learn to balance her time between family and friends. But if she feels that she is of no importance to her family, she may never devote some time with you. Treat her well and the next thing you'll know is she having a dilemma on whose affair to attend to: family's or friends'.
2 people like this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
8 Feb 07
i have noticed this behaviour in people who stay away from home. I think at times at they don't get their family members beside them, they get more dependent on friends. They just start to think that friends have greater bvalues in life. I don't deny that fact that friends are also verry valuable in life. still parents are blood relations are equally valuable.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
you are both young and explorative and that is fairly natural for the both of you and the only difference is that her world is differnt from the kinds of things you like to do.if you think you do not have friends, well, you are wrong .in your lifetime,think of someone whom you had a good relations with then base it from there to attract the friends you like to be with.your sister's lifestyle is different from yours, why don't you let her be and be her friend,not juat a sister.being her friend will open up a new relationship with her she would slowly creep into your world and vise versa. let it be the best of two worlds.lighten up a little bit and just let things be for a while and you will see that your world isn't that bad after all.
• China
8 Feb 07
i also
2 people like this
@emarie (5442)
• United States
9 Feb 07
well, talk to your sister. good friends are important and at a time, i did trust my friends more then my family even though i am close to my sisters. sometimes there are things only your friends are allowed to know. but just let her know how you feel. she might spend a little more time with you but you do have to understand that your sister does have her own life and she's trying to build upon it. you can make more of an effort to get out yourself and make your own friends. you shouldn't always attatch yourself to your family, even though you love them. she will always be there for you if you really needed her, i'm sure you know that.
@bcc23488 (883)
• Thailand
9 Feb 07
I think your sister cannot understand nature rule now so she think friends are important for her when I was young i think like this so I don't mind my family but time change my mind to understand nature rule I think perharb you must show that you care her I think time maybe change her mind if she is alone she maybe understand faster
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
Maybe the reason why she always wants or she is always with her friends is because she doesnt want to feel lonely and homesick. Since both of you are away from your family,it can really get lonely most of the time especially when you're alone or have nothing to do. Well, your sister's luckier than you are because she has many friends whom she has become attached to and spend lots of time with. You could talk to her and confide what you feel and tell her that you hope that you could also get to spend some time with her especially when you are on vacation.Tell her that you miss her, and the things that you used to do together. Maybe she is just caught up with her friends that she doesnt realize that she has been neglecting you or your family already. Also,for you, you should go out and meet new people and friends. Join a club or organization in your school with whom you have the same interests with so you could easily make friends.
@deemster (50)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
Maybe there is a feeling of pressure or uneasiness in her part when she is with you. Maybe she finds comfort in her friends. I presumed that because of your studies and obligations you are too busy to talk her or spend time with her. Take time to visit and vist her.
@yahooguy (508)
• Romania
8 Feb 07
well my sister thinks so to ....but what can i do ??? nothing i tryed to make her love us more but if she doesn't whant to you can't do nothing i am very sorry for you and me :(((((
1 person likes this
• India
9 Feb 07
Make some good friends who help you and conentrate on your higher studies. Don't deviate from your life. I hope, you will enjoy the best part of life.
@cherriemae (3370)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
Family is so important. You can count on with them in many ways, specially when your down and depressed. I think your sister only wanted to have someone who can talk to. She needs a companion, specially when she's lonely. Maybe, as a sister of her, talk to her heart to heart. Tel her that your always their for her, that family is the important person in her life. That you need her not only for a sister but also for a friend. Dont make mad on her, instead be polite and be gentle when talking to her.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Feb 07
You don't say how old your sister is, it is very normal for teenagers to go through a period of time where their friends are closer to them than their families. They need the social interaction from friends - who are on their level over their families who are not. The best thing you can probably do is just talk to your sister, tell her that you love her and you know her friends are important but you are hurt by her not wanting to spend any time with you. She probably doesn't realize what she is doing. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@miryam (6505)
• Italy
8 Feb 07
the same thing has happened between me and my sister, I have accustommed, and ogniuno had various friends, now she has 2 children, I not, are different and do not give her a lot of inportanza. You have your life not thought of her.
@andaismu (70)
• Indonesia
9 Feb 07
I think you should let her do that way in this time, perhaps she think and feel that her family not give her an attention at all in the past or she feel that her friends right now is more than a family to her . This is not mean to judge you, it's only temporary, just wait and see when time come that their friends one by one dissapointed her, she will turn back to her family
• India
9 Feb 07
dear its happens in lot of families......dont feel bad for that , just make understand ,your need for her, and u also dont behave as her sister, just be friendly to each other.....make her your are the best friend for her..... rajan
@mkakkad (35)
• United States
9 Feb 07
well i dont have any family member of this attitude. but yes definitely i have many friends who think in this way.. in fact after sitting down and talking to them i feel they dont realise the fact that they are doing something indifferent or not so nice... in fact i have even heard it back from a few frnds that my thinking is crap... its so ironic... we always try to comfort a few in life and they do not respond and realise adequately to our emotions and feelings... it hurts a lot... but i feel that ppl always resort to some means to live their life.. maybe these kind of ppl have resorted to their frnds.. whr as the other (like you and me) think that we should stick arnd with our family and also consider a very few frnds (maybe 1 or 2) in life just as our family... but till this feeling does not arise from both the ends i do not feel that we can make a big difference. yes, i feel we have done most of the things and we should do one more thing... give them their space... i feel such ppl so come back in life at some point of time... not sure though when... but yes if we try to stick arnd with them or try to change them, they wont budge... so i feel rather than investing our patience and time in them we should resort to some things in life that we like... maybe some sports, TV, music, reading or whtever.... i feel thats the only way we can make our own life better.... what do you guys think abt it ?
• Italy
8 Feb 07
If she is young it isn't strange...when I was 14-15 I was always with my friends and I thought as your sister...now I pass more time with my parents and my sister, because I know they can understand me more than everyone else
@Lavera1 (896)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I'm sorry that you depend on your sister so much to make you happy. That resposibility is all on you. You make that choice to be happy no matter what the situation. First make a list of the things that you like doing or are interested in then join organizations that have them. You're in school their should be plenty of interest groups there. Also you can volunteer helping people that need some of your abilities like reading, writing, math. Don't just talk evil of your sister. That might be the reason that she doesn't want to be around you. I dislike being around nags. I like people who are upbeat. What you major in constantly will be drawn to you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're beautiful and that you love and like you.