Jokes

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI: System Can't See It DOS: Defective Operating System BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM: I Blame Microsoft DEC: Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM: Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too. WWW: World Wide Wait MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers RISC: Reduced Into Silly Code

Thanks for the laugh. We need a good laugh every day to keep our spirits up and blow away the cobwebs. :)

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me. Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Santa, "I am a proud father. My son is in medical college. Banta, "What is he studying?" Santa, "He's not studying, they are studying him!"

A sick wife to husband: darling if I die what will happen to you? Husband: I will also die wife: Oh! dear ! do you love me so much? husband: No I may not be able to withstand the happinesss

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything! Son: That's why I say she's no good!

B-R-O-W-N A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma'am. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish." Well, she didn't know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane. He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, "Howdy, suh. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish." The little fellow turned to him, "Well now, how d'ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O'Donnell. I'm from Dublin, Ireland. I'm 5-foot 6- inches tall, and I'm white from the top o' me head to the tip o' me toes, except for my rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N."

i have no joke