My Job History!

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My first job was working in an Orange juice Factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't cut it, so they gave me the ax. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job. Next I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting. Then I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I then studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have and patience. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I eventually quit because it was always the same old grind. So, I tried Retirement and, you know what? I'M PERFECT FOR THIS JOB!