private issues and inlaws
February 9, 2007 8:58am CST
Sorry this is long! I have a great husband by all standards. We had our issues in the beginning with his parents but we are past that or I thought so. I have somewhat civil relationship with them now. What bothers me so much though is how much stuff about our lives he tells his parents: 1- They know how much money we have in the bank and how much money he makes and how much money he paid for my Xmas gift. They call him the “money man” in front of everybody. First we are not that rich (I WISH!) but because they are so bad with money and don't have any, the little we have is a lot to them! And on top of that now they know how much we have so guess what? Yes they keep asking us for money and not couple of hundred.. Thousands of dollars! We just moved and living in this tiny house so we can save enough to buy a bigger house eventually and afford a better life for our two kids! 2- If I was having a bad day with the kids he tells his mom all the details after me telling him what happened! He even tells her the smallest freaking details. I mean come-on. She does not need to know all of that! 3- I am a stay at home mom and was having some ideas about starting my home based business so he tells his mom and sisters about them and now his sisters want to do the same business. We live like 20 min form each other... if I go forward with this we will be competitors! It was my idea! I did the research, sent emails, got quotes, and researched the market! And now he gives them all the details and the websites.. Everything. His excuse? Well, if they are successful they will stop asking us for money. I was like nooooo they should stop asking us for money not because they are successful but because we are not giving them anymore! 4- If I talk to my mom and she tells me something n I mention it in front of him.... he tells them. My mom n dad been having some problems and he tells them about it! My mom is a very proud person and very private too. She tells me because I am her daughter. I feel bad for breaking her trust and telling my husband. I guess I learned my lesson not to tell him anything about them anymore.. but still, isn’t there a code of privacy between husband n wife? 5- If a friend of mine tells us something about her problems, the next phone call to his mom she will know. I tried gazillion times telling about privacy and our personnel lives... but he keeps telling them. It is killing me. Sometimes he talks to her on the phone when I am in the room and I can tell she keeps asking and asking until he tells her. He loves his parents a lot and I respect that but at the same time it is like they know everything about us all the time. What can I do? I stopped telling my husband lots of things and that’s not the kind of relationship I want with him! we always felt comfortable sharing everything with each other.. now I am not so sure. I just had a miscarriage and was not doing well at all. He gave his mom all the details she did not even call me later to tell me how sorry she was or whatever!!! so what is the point of them knowing if they are not gonna help or show some support? they never come visit... pretend to luv the grandkids when we are over but never ever hug or kiss them or come see them. my son does not even like them and he is only two. so they never really try to know him. they just ignore him for the most part and try to interact wit the baby... Please any advice!!!