When You Don't Get What You Want

@wolfie34 (26790)
United Kingdom
February 9, 2007 9:30am CST
How do you cope when you don't get want you want? Are you: aggressive - shout, scream, hit out, argue or verbally abuse others assertive - accept the situation, try to understand why you didn't get what you want, and how you could try and get it next time passive - totally give up, pessimism sets in, cry, passive aggressive - sulk, tantrum, throw a fit, or avoid contact with whoever stopped you getting what you want Which of those is you and why and would you change? I would describe myself as a bit of everything apart from aggressive. I hate being passive assertive it is very difficult to deal with anyone who is this way inclined.
12 people like this
61 responses
@rosie_123 (6117)
9 Feb 07
Oh, well, I guess you should ask my partner this question, - but I think I fall into the passive aggressive slot myself! I hate to admit it, but yes I do sulk! I don't throw tantrums or throw a fit, - but I do sulk....... I'm the classic woman who says "nothing" when asked what is wrong, and goes very quiet, and tries to avoid the person who said "no" to me!! I have been known to sulk for days til he gives in! LOL! My Dad says I was like it as a little child too! Luckily I guess people don't say "no" to me very often though! I wouldn't want to change though - I could never shout and scream, and lose my temper - I can't stand being around people who do that at all - it kind of makes me go hot and cold with embarrassment to be caught in any kind of "scene" - typical Brit I guess!!!.
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
9 Feb 07
In a way it makes you, you, and if you changed then you wouldn't be you, if that makes sense and I am the first to admit that I'm very passive aggressive, and I'm not the easiest person to live with. I also clam up, its like talking to a brick wall, being stubborn too doesn't help! Thanks for your response Rosie.
1 person likes this
@patootie (3593)
9 Feb 07
Got to keep that 'stiff upper lip' haven't we .. but ohh boy I can be sooo different indside ... !!
@rosie_123 (6117)
9 Feb 07
Well wolfie, - you are a Taurean, so not surprising that you are stubborn, as well as clamming up - classic Taurean trait!! Guess I am hard to live with too - my partner is from Argentina, where they are not so "stiff-upper lip" as us Brits, and he found my quietness a little disconcerting at first I think - but he just ignores me now! LOL!
• United States
18 Jun 07
It really all depends on the situation and what is stopping me from getting what I want. There have been a few occassions where I have been extremely upset and yelled a bit. A few other times I've been so frusterated that I cried... but over all, I usually sulk (just a little) but try to think of a way to get what I want.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
18 Jun 07
Thank you for your response, my friend, always appreciated.
@stateroad (730)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I get more depressed when I do not get what I want. This seems to happen a lot. I do not ask for much just simple things and I cannot even get that. I sometimes will also cry and wonder why things cannot work out just once. I find a lot of times that people who have the most get everything while others struggle along and get nothing. I know a lot of people say what does around comes around. I try to remain positive that one day things will go good for me and I will finally get a lucky break and I will get something I want. I try not to argue or hold a grudge if I donot get what I want. I simply go into a depression phase or just shut down and keep to myself and shut others out. I still keep trying to get things to go my way and I am hoping they will eventualy. Thanks for another interesting discussion.
• Romania
10 Feb 07
It's very hard to see that someone gets all he/she want's and you can't even get a little bit of that. I try to remain calm and think that one day the luck will be on my side.
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
intial reaction would be challenged. if i don't get what i want the first time then i'd "dust myself off and try again," as Aaliyah would have it. but if after trying again i still don't get what i want, then i'd be the assertive type. no point in throwing a fit or sulking. it won't get me anywhere.
• Indonesia
10 Feb 07
Usually i get mad, like i wanna shout to everyone i meet. But then i will be assertive, try to accept all and built up my new spirit. Never give up for this life, eventhough life is sucks!!!!!!
• Belgium
10 Feb 07
I'm rather assertive. Being assertive is much more helpful than all the others combined.
1 person likes this
@isasice (2015)
• Iceland
10 Feb 07
I always get what I want so don't know what I would do if I didn't :). Well, maybe not always but almost always.
1 person likes this
@terrly396 (126)
• China
10 Feb 07
I think when i don't get what I want ,first i will be very angry,then i will think why i don't get it,next time i don't want to do the same mistake!
1 person likes this
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
10 Feb 07
i am not agressive ...i think i just try to get used to the idea that not everything is possible. Anyway it depends on what it is and whats teh cause of me not getting it.
1 person likes this
@Sheezy (6)
10 Feb 07
Assertive, although I don't ask for much so I don't get disappointed a lot.
1 person likes this
@MagusX (1099)
• Brazil
10 Feb 07
Well, i do not surrender, i keep trying, in a sad mood, but when i finally realize that i will definitively not get what i want, i stop and go to my bedroom, a bit sad and then i come as if nothing happened.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
10 Feb 07
A little bit of passive aggresive until I get a grip and then I'm pure assertive....but sometimes it takes a while to get a grip and I sulk and feel sorry for myself. Pretty pathetic, actually, and I would love to get better at just accepting what comes my way (or doesn't) and enjoying what I have.
1 person likes this
@weemam (13377)
10 Feb 07
To be perfectly honest pal when you get to my age you have everything you want , My family and all the nice things that go with it , don't want anything else ,,, wellll maybe a slim figure pmsl xxx
1 person likes this
@patootie (3593)
9 Feb 07
I sigh deeply, sulk a little .. then get on with it .. if there is nothing I can do to change things there is no point in getting upset about it beyond being disappointed of course .. I'd like to think I would learn from the 'failure' as there are always lessons to be learnt if we look hard enough .. If person had stopped me getting what I wanted .. then I might resort to more underhand tactics .. I don't get even .. I don't even look for revenge .. but I do get satisfaction (but only IF it's deserved) ... grins evily .. I have a very fertile brain when it comes to getting satisfaction .. as those who have crossed my path know only too well even if they don't know who 'did' the thing to them hehehehe !!!
1 person likes this
@sweetlady10 (3617)
• United States
9 Feb 07
First of all I want to say when I don't get something what I want, I feel very disapointed, dipress and terrible. According to your catagory I can find myself within assertive, passive and passive aggressive. But not at the same time I react like all this. The catgory vary depending on the thing what I don't get. For different loss my mood reacts differently.
1 person likes this
@SimplyJo (1694)
• India
10 Feb 07
I hate to admit but i do get aggressive when i don't get what i want. I like to bang my bedroom door (Several times if it's something i really want. LOL.) i used to bang my fist against the wall when my mom used to say no for a late night rock concert.. i think i've grown past banging my fists but doors are still an open option :)
@sechsey (1834)
• Canada
12 Feb 07
Lol ok i have to comment about this since i have the banging doors attitude growing up too. That really gets me into trouble:P Im really beginning to think now that IM A brat. But maybe you are more of a brat than me since you bang your door more than once for ONE want lol Anyway, i think i am especially if you based it on my response on what kind I am:P
@xylon17 (157)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
when i did not get what i want ofcourse i feel frustrated but i think positively that there is better reason why i did not get it. perhaps it is a blessing in disguise.
@KHyuga (1700)
• Singapore
10 Feb 07
It's always good to derive the positives even when things don't go well for you.
• Australia
10 Feb 07
im a mum and never get what i want, im used to it now and just handle it
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
10 Feb 07
Thank you for your response and welcome to Mylot!
@jacton (272)
• India
9 Feb 07
Chating in Internets
• United States
10 Feb 07
teh intarwebz
@mummymo (23707)
18 Mar 07
I tend to wheedle, then out, then sulk for about 5 minutes and then forget it!