Divorce - Effects on children

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Yes, there can be a good marriage after an affair. BUT it takes a lot of time, energy and sacrifice. It also depends on why the affair happened and if the person is remorseful. Your husband apparently seems to be. It's only been a year, seems like a long time, but really isn't. I would recommend counseling before you throw in the towel. Children of divorce ~ well you can find statistics to support just about anything you want. Think about the logistics and dynamics first and very carefully. The children will now have 2 homes, different schedules, different rules, they will only see their father on a pt-time basis. And then the possibility of re-marriages down the road so you throw in step parents and possibily step/half siblings. For children divorce is like a death, and unfortunately no matter what or how you tell them they will for a long time feel like it is their fault. And that's just the way their brains are hard-wired right now. So there's a lot of guilt all the way around. But if you're not happy the children know this, they sense it. If you're truly miserable then you're children are also. If you decide on divorce the children should see a counselor or a group of other divorced children to help them cope. Most people on this board, myself included do not condone cheating in any way shape or form. But if he is showing remorse and a desire and you think that you can work through this, then I'd say to try. Whenever you're thinking the negative thoughts you need to re-train your mind to think of something else. Good Luck