Do you get along with your mother in law?

@mstay4 (69)
United States
February 9, 2007 10:41am CST
I was just wondering how many women get along with their mother in laws? You always hear the horror stories so I was wondering what kind of experiences you have had with her good or bad? Does she interfere in your relationship? Does she contradict how you raise your kids? Are you happy that she is you mother in law? Do you call her mom?
10 people like this
46 responses
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I loved my mother in law, I say loved because she passed away three week's ago. Although, she lived in Michigan and we live in California, my in law's would come for about a month every year, or we went there. She never interfered (atleast not that I know of) did not tell me any negative thing about how I raise my children, we never had an arguement. She was a great gal. I was telling my father in law, that she was loved by some many people, we are still getting sympathy card's. God, I miss her.
3 people like this
@dbcraff (162)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I didn't hit it off with my mother in law. I wasn't good enough for her little boy. She went to a point to introduce me to the women she wanted David to marry and that is how I was introduced. She didn't like the way I fed our first daughter when she was a baby. It went as far as when I was expecting my second child that we went out to dinner with them. Where she informed my husband that I had been cheating on him and that the baby might not be his but, it was up to us what we decided to do. Just so everyone knows our secind child is a spitting image of his father my husband. Know that it has been 13 years I think she realizes I am not going anywhere. So we do get along alot better now But it was very rough at first. And I still don't call her mom. I am very leary of her because of the things a went through with her our first years.
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I am in the fortunate position of having a really good relationship with my mother-in-law. She live far away from us which might help...LOL. She doesn't interfere in our lives at all and is real easy to get along with. I don't call her mom though, that would feel a little weird to me.
2 people like this
@CRiley27 (983)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I don't. I will try to keep this short,because once I get goingon my mother in law,it tends to go on and on. She is not a nice person. Treats her kids like garbage,talks to me like I am an idiot. She barks at my husband as if he is her slave, and trys to get into our business. Thank God she live 2500 miles away so I only have to deal with 2 visits a year (She is coming in June) I call her by her first name, but have a few other names in mind I would like to call her. LOL
2 people like this
@Kate06 (123)
• United States
9 Feb 07
My mother-in-law is great. I have a similar relationship with her like I have with my own mother, which is nice since we live closer to my mother-in-law than my mom and see each other more often. She helps with babysitting and is there when we need her. I consider myself very lucky to have her.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
I'm glad to have a nice and loving mother in law. My fiance's family is very close and they have all accepted me and my 2 children from previous marriage with kindness and never a moment of uncomfortableness. His mother is a very sweet lady and I know she will be a great grandmother to the new baby her son and I are expecting in May. I look forward to my new family and our future.
2 people like this
@missybal (4490)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Well my husband's mother and I were I thought very close before we were married. For about 2 and a half years I was in their home all the time and had meals with them and she treated me like one of the family. Then her son left for the military. We only had three days notice that he would be leaving and he and I had been talking about getting married for a year and we were waiting for the best time to tell everyone. He felt that the best time was not just before leaving for the military and that he really wanted to tell everyone at his boot camp graduation. When he left for the military things already seemed to change between him mom and me. She didn't seem so interested in our friendship anymore and the whole family on her side acted a little funny. I was unable to go to his military graduation due to health problems and so he had to tell her himself. He thought she would be very happy due to how long we had been together and that he knew we knew each other well. When he told her she was very angry with him. Started telling him I was all wrong for him that I didn't have what it took to be a military wife. She said I would have a baby and take his money and leave. She tried like crazy to get him to "play the field" as she put and said he didn't date enough yet to know I was the one. He was 23 years old at this time and it was true he didn't date much before me. Well she came home and said it was disgraceful how we didn't tell her our plans to get married. It became obvious that she thought that him going away for the military would be the end of me. She started trying to put us against each other and she kept trying to tell me I was to independent and that her son wasn't mature enough for me and she'd tell her son that I was being mean to her. She tried to take control of my wedding, she hated that i wasn't wearing all white, she wanted me to demand of her son to buy me a $5,000 ring (the one I let him get me was only $50 and it was good enough for me, I felt money is better spent on our future.. and I didn't want a ring I'd be scared to wear). She kept telling me how hard military life is and that the money was aweful. Then her son transfered everything into my name... his mother had handled everything for him before... and we discovered she had been stealing his money. He had two cars before he went in and they were good cars not junkers and he had signed the titles over to her for her to sell them and she never gave him any money for them. He got out of the military after an injury and we tried to work things out because I wanted a family wedding and because my husband has three brothers at home he wanted to be a part of. She wouldn't let him see them or speak to them. She told him to pick between me and herself. He refused to pick and she threw him out of their lives. She then packed his things up and she took many things that belonged to him including taking every cent out of his piggy bank... he was collecting quarters. She gave him the boxes and you could tell she just dumped everything in. She tells his brothers we are welcomed to see them any time we wish but every time we try she tries to make us look bad in front of them by acting like we are hurting her. Then later my husband found out the truth about his mother and father's divorse. He had thought his father had left his mother, when really she sent him divorse papers on valentine's day when he was away contracting to send her money because there were no jobs where they lived. Also she lied for years saying that she didn't get enough money in child support from their father, we found out later that she gets $600 every two weeks plus alamoni that was almost equal to that. She now will cover her face when she walks past us and will not even acknoledge our marriage or even my existance. My husband has had it with her and we have to keep our address and phone number due to her harrassing us. There is much more but I would be writing forever.
1 person likes this
@sylviekitty (2083)
• United States
9 Feb 07
My mother in law is really nice. She never gets in my business, and actually I hear from my sister in laws that she gets worried about me, and that sometimes she'd like to tell off my husband when he does something really stupid. LOL! She never interferes at all- be it with the kids, husband, etc. That isn't to say she doesn't give an opinion now and then, but it's never like "you need to do this", or "you better do that". I have never called her mom to her face, though sometimes I have referred to her as mom when talking to my husband. LOL
@coolcatzz (1587)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
My mother-in-law has passed away but I had her in my life for 20 years and she was the best. I loved her to pieces. I miss her so much. Yes I called her Mom. She never interferred and was always there when I needed her. But yes I have heard of some horror stories I was just very lucky.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 07
My first mother in law is really awesome, and sweet, and I still love her to this day. I call her every other day to just talk. She's an awesome person. My soon to be future mother in law...well, to be kind I'll say I was lucky the first time around. My future mother in law...she's very intelligent and articulate woman, but she's also demanding, controlling and manipulative. I suppose I'm going to have to take the bad with the good...but I can already tell it's not going to be easy. I don't call anyone mom but my mother. Doesn't seem right to me.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
13 Feb 07
I DO NOT call her mom and yes she does all of the above. well she doesnt really comment on our relationship but she sure likes to tell me how she raised her kids and how i should raise mine. and what i should and shouldnt be letting them do. oh my. The list is endless. lol. but we do get along pretty well. i just take veerything with a grian of salt. sometimes i use my selective hearing to get through the conversation.
• United States
19 Feb 07
Let me first say that I am the type of person who wants to be liked. I go "out of my way" to make people feel comfortable and am very family oriented. My mother in law is not a very nice lady. I said it. I spent 2 years of dating and nearly 7 years of marriage to figure out that some people just won't like you no matter what. I call her by her name.
@stibigirl (291)
• United States
13 Feb 07
Unfortunately I do not get along with my mother-in-law. I dated my husband for 6 years before I married him and during that time I only saw her once or twice a year, usually Thankgiving and Christmas. Everything was fine. Well needless to say we are happily married but she is not happy for us, she has not been since that day. The story is pretty much this: she didn't realize until a month before our wedding that I did not really want to ever have children, and her son had always known. There was obviously a reason why he did not tell her, she is mad at him for marrying me and mad at me for not wanting to have "her grandchildren" as she puts it. As our wedding anniversaries go by (5 years now) the anger grows, all her friends have grandchildren and she has none, I am the obstical that keeps her from having them. Thank god we don't live in the same town. The saddest thing I guess is that she thinks that I make my husband unhappy by not having children for him. This was a point of deep discussion for years before our marriage, little does she know how much thought went into the decision, from both him and I.
@mememama (3076)
• United States
13 Feb 07
I'm an oddball, my mother in law and I are great friends! We go shopping together and I spend a lot of time with her, we've even travelled together! She doesn't interfere at all, she thinks I'm a great mother and I'm glad that she's in my life. I call her by her name though, I've only got one mother-she earned that title with putting up with me for all of these years!
@unisis (1673)
• Indonesia
12 Feb 07
unfortunately my wife does not have mother in low cause she has pass away before I married her,she stay only with her father in law after we have child i live separately with my father so she does not know how to live with her mother in law
@Riptide (2758)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I call her mom and I absolutely love her. We get along great and she was there for me when my mom passed away and told me I'm like a daughter to her. She is an awesome woman and I am greatful to have her in my life.
@toots1115 (138)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I get along with my mother-in-law very well. If I ever need to vent about her son, my hubby, she is there to hear me.
• United States
10 Feb 07
I have an OK relationship with my mother in law. We used to be closer when I was still the girlfriend of her son and not the wife. However, during the wedding, she behaved inappropriately and tried to "steal" the limelight away from us by trying to get more attention and saying things that would make people feel sorry for her and said things about their family that made people think and feel that she is a neglected mother (which isnt really the case). In other words, she tried to instill some drama the entire week of the wedding which was an overseas wedding and my family and friends were meeting her for the first time, since I come from a different country but have been living in the US for many years now. After that, we (my husband and I) set some boundaries and limitations as to how often we see her, what we share with her in terms of time, attention and whatever we share with regards to our life as a couple. Its better that way because she doesnt tend to intrude and she knows she cant get away with her antics and drama anymore. But overall its ok, she knows that we have boundaries now and its a good thing that my hubby isnt a "mama's boy" so she cannot turn her son against me or hold any influence over my hubby in terms of our marriage or life. I dont call her mom because all her sons and daughters in law call her by her first name so I just followed the "trend". Im not giddy about my mother in law but Im ok with her. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say she is a 6. Not great but not too bad.
@ljames (30)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I call my husband's mother Mama. I am very lucky to have her. She has always been very respectful and kind to me. There have been many times that I have gone to her with problems that I would not speak to my own mother about. She is woman aho has seen and done a lot in her life and can offer good advice. The best part is she never offers it without my asking. She has never been intrusive or critical to me. I guess she is the perfect mother in law, and I am so lucky.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
12 Feb 07
My mother in law is a lovely lady and there isn't a mean streak in her. We get on very well and i like the advice she gives me in raising my child (her very first grandchild). I often ask about her life experiences and how she brought up her kids. The one I don't get along with is my father in law - now that's a long story!