Who should pay for a wedding?

United States
February 9, 2007 1:33pm CST
The bride is 30, the groom is 34. Both have houses, lovely fully decortated homes. The each earn 6 figures. They want Mom and Dad to foot the bill for a 50,000.00 wedding. Mom and Dad are retired, on fixed income. They have a nest egg put away. They feel that these two have the were-with-all to give themselves the most spectacular wedding. It would strip the parents of all their finances, if they paid. The bride says, her parents paid for her siblings wedding, the should pay for her's. Hard feeling between the parents and future couple are beginning to grow. What do you say, who should pay, or should there be some kind of compromise.
25 people like this
100 responses
• Canada
9 Feb 07
I think that if the bride and groom are living on their own, then they should pay for their own wedding. . . I'm getting married in July and my fiance lives with his dad, but i live on my own and we are saving up and paying for the whole wedding ourselves. If the parents want to contribute and offer some finances then that should be taken as a gift but i don't think the parents should be obligated to pay
5 people like this
@paulnet (748)
• India
10 Feb 07
yaa you are right there should not be any compulsion for them to pay you. Its for their wish.
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
yes, i think so, too. i mean, to think they are earning considerably well, why burden their parents, right? if the bride and groom could afford it themselves, they really ought not to oblige their parents. although, of course, the parents, may, indeed, want to contribute something, but it shouldn't be mandatory or anything like that.
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
9 Feb 07
First of all, the bride and groom should never ask a parent to pay for a wedding. Parents paying for a wedding is a gift. A celebration of their love and not an absolute. If they want this grandeous wedding, then they should find a way to chip in. There is no reason they can't split the cost. But it is an ungrateful child that expects there parents to do something out side of their means. When my brother married, my parents paid for most of the wedding because his bride's parents were also on little income. If they can work out a compromise, they should. But the bride is being a spoiled brat (sorry no offense) to disrespect her parents and ask that they spend their nest egg on her elaborate wedding.
• United States
9 Feb 07
I just feel that this couple is so well off, not just starting out. They have been on their own for years, they should be able to pay for their wedding. The cars they drive would pay for two weddings.
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Oh my. Didn't realize they are that well off. Then it is absolutly wrong to ask her parents if they have the money. i would almost go so far as to morally wrong. Like i said, sounds like a spoiled brat. Sorry. I'm sure that what offensive but that gets my goat. Sometimes I don't even know if I can pay my mortgage at the end of the month and she's screaming about a 50,000 dollar wedding!
1 person likes this
@avonrep1 (1862)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Wow thats enough for a house. We live in Indiana and house are cheaper here than other places, but still we paid $54,000 and I thought that was to much but it was the best house we had seen for the money after looking at 200. They should pay for the wedding themselves. Its one thing if it was a small $2,000 wedding, but $50,000 dang, save that money and put it back for when or if times ever get hard. When my husband and I got married we spent under $60.00 to get married. Then around $1,000 flight, rental car, cabin and all the other expenses for our honeymoon. We used what we would have spent on a wedding for our new home. They both sound like spoiled brats if you ask me.
@aiguy01 (589)
• United States
9 Feb 07
If they spent X amount on the siblings then it is only fair that they do the same for their last daughter to avoid making her feel that they love her less. However I doubt that they spent 50,000 on the other weddings. They could contribute an equal amount and that would be fair. The daughter should understand though that they are retired and that money is their only security so she should try to go as easy on them as possible.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
The parents have offered to give them what they gave the others. The bride feels this is not enough. The groom has really said very little.
@chihouse (213)
• United States
20 Feb 07
fifty thousand is not a lot for a wedding.. it depends on how many people you are inviting, the food, the place of the reception. I have alsom 200 people in my family, that's siblings, aunts,uncles, and cousins. that's not including friends, church members, neighbors, old teachers etc all the people I would want to share my special day. at the same time if you personally have the money to pay for the wedding, then pay, her parents have done well with her( look at her success) they have done their part
@wesker311 (510)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
i think the bride and the groom should share. They're both have jobs and house of their own im sure they can afford to have an extravagant wedding of their dream! if the mom and dad offered some financial help then they can accept. Dont make your parents pay for your wedding because they did so to your other siblings!?! i can never ask my parents to pay for anything when i get married.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Feb 07
I think these two successful adults would be completely and utterly selfish to even THINK of asking the parents to pay for such a lavish wedding! It's ridiculous. The parents worked their entire lives to be able to retire in comfort. How could they possibly ask this of the parents and live with themselves? If they want such a grand wedding, they should pay for it themselves. No doubt about it!
2 people like this
@leedug (920)
• United States
10 Feb 07
What a SELFISH bride and groom. Ok, so they paid for the siblings weddings. Did the siblings make as much as this couple does? Did the parents have more money at that time? Either way, if the couple has more of a means to pay for their wedding, then they should never ask their parents to do it for them.
2 people like this
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Okay first of all who needs a wedding that costs that much money. I think that is just a total waste of money that could be used for more important things. And if these two people make such good money they should pay for the wedding themselves. You shouldn't ask your parents to come up with that much money.
2 people like this
9 Feb 07
The bride and groom should pay for their own wedding. after all, they are earning very good money from their jobs, and Mum and Dad are retired. Why do they have to spend so much money on one day? It wouldnt be right to take all the parents money and leave them with a reduced income source. I think that it is quite selfish of the bride to demand money for the wedding.
@Gmens91 (389)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
Parents are not obligated to pay for their children's weddings especially when the children earn a good income. I think it's selfish for her to think of herself and not think of her parents. What if the parents ask for payment for taking care of her and sending her to school?
2 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
I think if you are mature and responsible enough to get married then you are mature and responsible enough to pay for your own wedding. It would be nice if the parents could help,especially since they paid for her siblings, but they are not obligated to. Obviously they do not have the financial ability to pay. The bride needs to grow up and start taking care of herself.
2 people like this
• Canada
9 Feb 07
i think once you reach a certian age, and have moved out of your parents house and have made a good life for your self you should pay for your own marriage. to me if you get married while you'll living on your own and you've finished college and have a job so i figure anything aver 25 i would assume can take care of themselves so they shouldn't expect anyone else to pay for their wedding. they can accept offers if the parents want to help but they shouldn't expect it.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 07
This is how her parents feel. She has been on her own for so long, not needing parental support. Now they feel she is sending them on a guilt trip. I feel bad for all of them, she is my godchild and I want to shake her. Her Mother and I have been friends forever, so I can't help taking sides.
• United States
10 Feb 07
I think the bride and groom should pay. They both earn a 6 figure income each!!! It's not even a question they should pay for their own wedding. Mom and Dad are retired and they've taken care of you your whole life. You should be responsible for yourself because you are after all getting married. Before you know it you'll be asking your parents to buy you a house. You should definately pay for your own wedding if you are making that much money.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 07
I think that the happy couple should be paying for this elobrate and very, very expensive (and some how that just doesn't cover it) wedding. To think they're making a crap load of money each and want her parents to wipe out all there savings for such! I think that is disrespectful. If I had that kind of money and my parents didn't (fixed income & nest egg) I wouldn't dream of asking them to do it. I can understand that they might have paid for their other daughters weddings - but I'm sure that happened when they were working still. I wonder if her sisters had that expensive of a wedding as well. I think the bride and groom should pay on this one. I paid for my own wedding. I was out of the house but my parents also didn't have the money either. If they did though they would have helped.
1 person likes this
@Sawsen (794)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I think it's very selfish of the couple to expect their parents to pay. Especially since they have money. And I think her parent's circumstances are different now then they were when her siblings got married. It's really sad how most people focus more on the financial aspect than on the forever aspect.
1 person likes this
@krishkorp (427)
• India
10 Feb 07
thats such a bad thing to happen.If they have the money they should take care of themselves.Being in 30's and still dependent on parents ,thats a shame.And as far as the other siblings are to be taken into account if they didn have money then its responsibility of parents to get them married.But if these couple have money ,y do they do this.Maybe its time someone told them its such a disrespect for their parents.
1 person likes this
@momknows (284)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I agree with Mom and Dad, we're talking about two grown adults - grow up and have your own wedding. Give them a monatery gift which is affordable, or go ahead spluge on the wedding with a written agreement that the newlyweds will take care of the aging parents, no nursing home.....
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
I think that the bride and groom should handle all the finances on their wedding since they are both earning. The case of her siblings is quite different from her. since she can stand on her own and she's already in marrying age and can handle her own life i guess it's almost time for her to shoulder her own wedding, aside fromthe share of of her groom.
@hottie0728 (1732)
• United States
10 Feb 07
It is the couple's responsibility to pay for their own wedding, it's their wedding not their parents anyway. They are well off enough so why not spend it on their "dream wedding". If the "brats" parents are willing enough to pay for it, why not? I just think that she's too demanding when it's suppose to be at their expense of course.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 07
$50,000 is a little much for most weddings. If they want that kind of wedding they need to finance it themselves. They shouldn't be making their parents pay for it, especially since they are on fixed income. If they offer to pay, I would let them pay a small portion of it, but there's no way you could feel right about letting your parents pay for a $50,000 when they need the money to live on. They either need to go for a less extravegant wedding or pay for it themselves.
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
10 Feb 07
If the bride and groom want the bride's parents to pay, then they should accept the fact that they might be able to spend half as much or less. If they want an elaborate $50,000 wedding , then they should foot the bill, not mom and dad. That is a ridiculas waste of the parents nest egg which they do not owe to the bride. In all reality, spending 50k on a wedding is nonsense, that is unless you can really afford it. It looks to me that it is the kids idea and they are the ones most able to afford it. They have many years left to work and make back the cost. Or, even sell one of the homes and likely net enough to pay for the wedding at least.
1 person likes this