Do Mother's Really Know Best?

@davaoguy (319)
United States
February 10, 2007 12:17pm CST
Mothers are all different. I know they are not that perfect sometimes, but we have to deal with them appropriately. i admit sometimes I do not understand my mother. She usually imposes things to me, without thinking how I would feel about her opinions regarding the decision i am about to make. For example, if I introduce someone i am dating with. She immediately tells me her negative observations. Sometimes, she really gets into my nerves. So any of you have the same sentiments as mine? Is it alright to be polite and follow what mom says? Or is it okay for you to go against her wishes and make her cry?
6 people like this
22 responses
• India
10 Feb 07
Every person feels that way. When you are less than 11 years old, mothers knows best about you. What you like, what is good for you, what do you want to eat, which toy you want to play etc. And the habit goes into them and they want to care for us all the time, so they try to find out what is best for us. Of couse they are not always right, but you are her beloved son, so why not indulge her and make her feel good by listening to her?
3 people like this
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
10 Feb 07
To all readers, please omit the apostrophe in Mother's. It's such a shame when we cannot edit things here in mylot after you have posted them. Yes Kangleicha, I really try my best to listen to her as patiently as possible. Sometimes, mothers often forget that her child is already 28 years old and she still acts as if you're 12.
2 people like this
• India
11 Feb 07
You are her child, and you will always remain a child in her eyes no matter how old you are. That is why they are mothers.
• India
11 Feb 07
mothers are gods accept wat they say
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
Tricky subject matter. Mothers are people just like everyone else, we make mistakes, we screw up. Our intentions are usually good, but that doesn't stop us from being humans ... and it's human nature to make mistakes. For example, my own mother. I love her dearly, and I normally understand her, if not agree. My mother and I live very different lives, and see things from very different angles. She's old fashioned, and religous, where I am neither. She lives in a small town where small town morals are firmly affixed, I live in a bigger city where freedom of expression is almost expected if not understood. So when I got my tattoo, symbolic and important to me, she didn't understand, and was disappointed. But ... it's not her decision. :) She often doesn't agree with the way I raise my kids. She believes I take too much time to explain things to them, that I should just lay down orders and expect them to listen. I believe I should explain as much as possible so they have incentive to listen. She thinks I'm wrong, I think she's wrong. But ... it's not her decision. :) I love her, she knows that. I'll always show her the utmost respect. But I can do that without bending to her rules and regulations, especially when I feel she's wrong. That's part of being an adult, knowing what advice to follow, and which to discard. Your mother shows negativity when you bring potential girlfriends around. Her reason is most likely the same reason most mothers disapprove of partners for their children. Noone is good enough for our kids. I'd like to think that when my kids bring their partners around, I'll be sweet, and understanding, and give them a chance ... but I'll likely have just as many negative things to say. Simply because .... no matter how good they are, they won't be good enough for my kids. But ... in the end ... it's not my decision. :) My kids will make the decision about who's a best partner for them, whether I agree or not. That's the way it works. And for the record, my mother didn't agree with my choice of partner either, and my husband and I have been married ten years. It took her a little while, but she learned to love him. :) That's the coolest thing about most mothers ... we're adaptable. :)
2 people like this
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Thank you for sharing your experience, Ciniful. I always see to it that I get along with my mom as often as i could because I have no one else except her. Yes, it's true. Mothers only want the best for their kids. Although they have to realize that people need to learn lessons in life. Like getting hurt and moving on.
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
10 Feb 07
If your an adult, then you have the right to do what you like. Mothers can say what they think , but in the end its your decidion to make. If you make a mistake then so be it. Now if it was something that might cause you harm or danger I would say listen to your mother. But, if its just a guy that you like, and she doesnt like. Go with what makes you happy. Tell your mom " Mom i love you and I respect you, but I have a right to make my own decisions and if it is a mistake then its mine to make." Then do what you want and dont worry about her thoughts on that person.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
10 Feb 07
lol, i just realized i said if its a guy you like. Im sorry about that. i meant girl
@pagibig (299)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
I don't think mothers ALWAYS knows best. my mom and i could never see eye to eye. sometimes i feel like i'm raising her instead of the other way around. But yes you have to be polite, she is still your mom. being polite doesn't mean you have to follow everything she says. that makes one a stupid person, incapable of making a decision for himself. Going against her wishes doesn't mean she'll cry. If you need to go against her wishes, make sure that you can truly believe that it is the right thing for you. i guess what i mean is this, you have brains, think for yourself. In times of doubts, depression, self pity, etc etc, go to your mother. Always be polite, because some day, one day, you'll be running back to mom for a piece of advice... now it's up to you to take or reject that advice.
2 people like this
@XxAngelxX (2831)
• Canada
11 Feb 07
I think mothers don't always know what's best, but I think they try to do what is best for their children. I thinks that's where the difference is. We don't do things to intentionally hurt our children, we are trying to keep them from getting hurt and making mistakes. It's harder for some of us than for others to just let our children make their own mistakes so that they can then learn from them.
1 person likes this
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
11 Feb 07
True. It is one of life's most important lessons to be hurt and learn to move on in the process. When mothers interfere much, they usually deprive their children the opportunity to learn from life's experiences. I just wish mothers should sometimes loosen up and just be there to guide and not impose.
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Mothers DONT always know best and what you mom does like with the example you gave about ppl you date, is the perfect example....not just in the way she doesnt see anything positive (could it be nobody will be "good enough" for her baby?) and not just in the way she doesnt think about your feelings but also in the way that she in a very subtle way (my opinion with what you've given us..) she is making sure she's maintaining control of your life....You said "is it ok to go against her wishes and MAKE HER CRY" so I'm assuming that if you WERE to go against her wishes she would pull that on you..thats wrong and COMPLETELY NOT fair to you AT ALL...You are old enough to date, so you are old enough to make your own decisions and LIVE YOUR LIFE as you see fit and she should have faith in the fact that she did her job as best as possible while you were growing up and taught you the right things in life....she needs to start letting go and letting you live IMO...and you need to gently encourage her... Explain to her that as much as you value her opinion and love her dearly you wish she would be more positive when it comes to you and your choices (provided you arent doing stupid things of course)....She's not goin to stop on her own so IMO you need to get her to realize what its doing to you and coax her to stop being so negative and controling.
1 person likes this
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I get your point. I know she's just being protective and all. That's why I'm trying to balance things out. I don't want my mother to be mad at me and at the same time I do not want her to meddle in my relationships. We have to admit that we want the ones we love to get along and i think my mother would understand that if she loved me she would want me to be happy. It's just my wish that everything will turn out okay in the end.
• United States
11 Feb 07
I agree a mother isn't always right. But one thing is sure that she loves her child/children the most. However, very few news are there that a mother and her friends abused a child like that but this is an exceptional part of mother-child relationship. Generally she is excess possessive to her child/ren. This is not good for her child/ren for growing up. So in my opinion some works we should do at our own risks. In this way a child is helping his/her parent from being worried always. But neglecting mother's comment about your date completely is not wise. Just keep your mother's comment in your mind and try to judge what statements are due to her possassiveness and what comments are true. Don't be blind to your date.
1 person likes this
@babyjane (1395)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
Not all mother's knows best 'coz some are materialistic that what they didn't achieve is they want their child to get that opportunity which the other didn't agree. I believe mother's knows best with her child only she could advise not just to decide for her child's future.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
Well as a mother and daugther myself, I believe that mother's somehow really knows what's best for their childern most of the time. Although they tend to over react sometimes because they don't want their kids to hurt themselves and commit the same mistake they've been thru. Thay is why we cannot really blame them if they get strict sometimes. I only realized my mother's behavior when I became a mother itself. Because you will absolutely experience your mother went through. Most of the time, it makes me laugh because I tend to sound like my mother little by little. Although every mother has its own approach in raising their kids, but in the end of it all, you can really get good advise from your mother. Perhaps, just try to understand them and don't ignore them, because it would really hurt them deeply. The best thing to do is to listen and try to hear them out and give them the respect they deserve. Remember that its really not easy to be a parent. Ofcourse I'm not implying that you will follow all what they say to you, you have your own mind and decision, just try to explain to your parents especially your mother that you will be responsible in every decisions that you will partake. Thank them for their love and support and that you respect everything that they say to you.
@alchemistrx (2559)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
I think not all but we should respect them and honor them for raising us but they should also remember that we aren't kids anymore.That is what I have to say on this.
1 person likes this
@lenith (1222)
• India
11 Feb 07
"Mom was intelligent and organized. Here are some of her contributions: 'You don't have to be rich to be clean; a bar of soap is cheap.' 'Look with your hands as well as your eyes.' 'There is a place for everything and everything should be in its place.' "
1 person likes this
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
Mothers definitely know a lot but the term "rally know best" is just pure myth. I asked that to my mom when I was a kid and she just laughed and said "if we really knew what was best for all of you then the world would be at peace by now." A mother's wisdom truly helps but mother can only offer you that much knowledge in life. Most, you have to experience it yourself.
1 person likes this
@bcc23488 (883)
• Thailand
11 Feb 07
I think my mother don't know everything I have argue with my mother everyday such as I think the best way that solve my problem so I say it to my mother My mother does not like it and give me with silly reason so I don't like it but I must do everything that my mother like so sad
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
From my experience, my mom is always right. I share your same sentiments, I was mad at her for not letting me date this guy. This was in 2003 and boy, I am glad that I followed her advice!
1 person likes this
@suedarr (2382)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
Well I will only speak from my own personal experience. I have learned that in my case my mother is usually right, much as when I was younger I would have hated to admit that. Now that I am older and hopefully a little wiser I pay a lot more attention to what she might have to say on any given subject.
1 person likes this
@the_vicar (1478)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Mothers may not always know what is best but they do have your best interest at heart. This may not be true of all mothers but it is for the majority of them. Try listening to your mother because she is more intersted in the good for yo than the bad.
@dbzfan (253)
• India
11 Feb 07
Ya its True,ThatMother Always Know What is Good For Their Childrens Almost 90 Percent of The Time. The Rest of the 10 Percent Can,t Say anything About it. But it is Necessary to Obey u r Mom,Even if They Make u Frustated or Angry. ThereFore u Shoudln,t Make u r Mom Cry.
• India
11 Feb 07
yes .. they know about the children very much than others .. even they are capable of telling your character 100 % .. and she judges you the better han others not even your friends ....
@Cheez4 (78)
• Canada
11 Feb 07
Your Mother will always be the same, dont take it in a negative way. My mother is kind of the same way. I would get so mad sometimes i'd say some pretty rude things that noone would think to say to their mother, anyways in the end although I never liked to admit it but she was right, learn from it.
• Nepal
11 Feb 07
All mothers are not perfect but they want to do best for their child. Sometime they dont know how to behave to their child. But they want to do best for her child.