Hi there, its me again

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I know you all are probably a bit tired of my whining and sob story at this point. But I am sitting here lonely and depressed. My last post was about my husband being on pot and not giving it up for our family. I just feel so hopeless right now. I went to my sisters for the weekend to clear my head and give us both some space. He had given it up. And promised me he would stay off it, and then just friday he informed me that he was going to go back on it. Well I finally agreed to come home tonight and really wish I hadnt. I told him that I didnt want him high around me or our son. He said he wouldnt ever do that. I came home tonight and he was high. I am just at my last straw. I asked him why. He told me he didnt think he was doing anything wrong because it wasnt like he was doing it in front of us. I told him I meant I didnt want him high around us, in our presence, period. He says I am unreasonable. I told him that to me, he is saying that he is choosing the drugs over me and our son. He says I am the only one who would see it that way. I told him "it is either me and the baby or the drugs, you have a choice" He said he wasn't giving it up and to do what I had to do. It sure sounds like he has chosen the pot over his family to me. He now assures me that he wont be high in our home again, but I honestly dont think I can trust him. My heart is just breaking right now. Because I know this is a final straw for me. I cant let this man be a role model to my beautiful baby boy. I just feel so lonely right now. I really dont have anyone to talk to. My family lives a couple hours away, and my friends are in bed, and most of them dont realize how sad I am. I am supposed to be the happy go lucky one always in a good mood. SO basically I am just sort of letting it out here. I hope nobody minds too much. I feel so empty inside right now. I am so tired of crying. All I really want is a happy marriage with a man who loves and respects me. (this one says he does, but I dont see how). I was married once before. He cheated on me. And now this. I am really starting to wonder what is the matter with me. This husband threw in my face the fact that my ex husband also did pot. The difference is, he never did it in our home, never came home to me high, and we didnt have a child for me to consider. I figured he was a grown man, if thats what he wanted to waste his spending money on and his time, then so be it. Having a child changes everything. I have a wonderful little boy that watches everything his father does with amazing attention, and tries to repeat everything he sees. I dont want him to grow up using marijuana or thinking its okay to neglect those around you. That is the other thing. My husband got absolutely irate when I said I didnt appreciate him being high in our home. He doesnt like the words: high, pot, stoned or dope. If there is nothing wrong with what he is doing, why is he ashamed of those words? Sorry for rambling, I just know I will never sleep with all of this weighing on my chest. There is so much more to say and tell, but I feel that I have drug this on long enough. Thanks for listening.