My son and religion!

@indywahm (808)
United States
February 12, 2007 7:35am CST
My 14 year old son has been asking questions about God and religion and it makes my hubby mad ,but I just kind of try to explain. Him and my hubby get into arguments and i try to explain to my hubby that he is just 14 and curious. My hubby thinks that it is against God to ask questions. I am afraid that he is going to scare my son off from trying to get a relationship with God. I tell my son not to talk to his dad about it and just come to me or go to the pastor if he has questions.
7 people like this
26 responses
@moonmage (148)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Your son is starting on that fun process of becoming an adult. He will have to ultimately decide what he believes and it's not a reflection on you or your husband. It may not be a matter that your son doesn't believe what he's been raised with but rather that he wants to understand what he does believe better... Many people too often blindly accept whatever they are told rather than searching for themselves.
3 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
12 Feb 07
very nicely said....and I'd like to add that I think kids should be given the means to explore religion WITHOUT our coaxing them even if that means they become curious or lean towards something we dont follow or even question what we do follow, its natural especially at that age (my son is 13.5)...So if your son is asking questions answer them but keep in mind he may not want to for whatever reason believe in what you believe in OR he may just need more input/info etc to satisfy his curious mind....and regardless of WHAT he is curious about, the fact that he's strong enough to ASK in the first place is fabulous! You should be very proud of that fact as should your husband..As far as your husband goes, well I think that telling your son to just not talk to dad about it is a good idea...you dont want your son to become sheepish about asking about things whether its religion or some other important aspect of life...
1 person likes this
@indywahm (808)
• United States
12 Feb 07
yeah i do not want to push him. i came from a family of preachers etc - my great grandpa started a church in nashville tenn,- and i was never pushed so i do not want to push him. i was almost 30 when i decided to have a relationship with God.
@Lunerian (493)
• Sweden
12 Feb 07
Well I think you should just give him a achance to decid for himself, you can't present all religions so therefore none is a better choice.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
13 Feb 07
I think he does not go out and stays at home most of the time. What he needs is more exposure to the outer world. Soon he will come to know that religion is merely creations of human beings for their own benefits nothing else.
13 Feb 07
Initially, I thought how sad for your son not to feel that he can ask his father questions about your faith and I want only to commend him for having not only the curiosity but the boldness to question your beliefs even if it does upset dad. As human beings we are for ever evolving and questioning our beliefs is an important part of this. How can we hope to preserve our beliefs if we cannot explain them. A friend of mine who is a practising Muslim in response to the question that 'Jesus Christ came before the Prophet Mohammed why then is he revered above Christ. Her quick witted response was that Colour TV came after black and white and people enjoyed that just as much. This led to an indepth conversation about Islam and her good humour opened these individuals up to her faith rather than alienating them which would have happened if she had responded in an angry manner. I urge you to look at your religeous scriptures I am sure you will find the appropiate passage written there that will help you and your family resolve this situation. As for your son seeing the pastor I think it would be beneficial if your husband also spoke to the pastor and your husband is more likely to listen to him.
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
13 Feb 07
I know with most people (kids included) the more you tell someone to not ask questions, the more they are going to wonder "What are you hiding?" If you are firm in your belief, you and your husband should have no problem discussing this with your son. Sure, he's going to ask questions that you don't have answers too - probably about other beliefs (because his friends are different) - don't be ashamed that you can't asnwer his questions, talk to the Pastor. I had Catholicism shoved down my throught all of my childhood. When I learned about other religions (against my family's knowledge) I rebelled. I am not a religious person and did not raise my children to be religiious. I did answer their questions to the best of my ability and was usually able to help them find the answers I wasn't sure about. Maybe your husband is feeling insecure because he doesn't have the "right" answers for your son. There's nothing wrong with not knowing everything. If it's something like thay, maybe you both can just say "Son, that's a very good question. How about we ask our Pastor about it?" I would not suggest he not talk to his father at all about this though. That closes the door for communication and he really needs to be able to talk to his father (and mother) about things at this age. Try to impress upon your hubby that it is important to keep that line open to his son. Good Luck!
@SignMe (1031)
• India
13 Feb 07
As for as possible just answer your son's question. Stopping him wont help. But nothing to afraid, I hope he will better understand this world and makes you happy :)
• India
13 Feb 07
i really appreciate ur son for askin' ur husband abt God and religion . it is high time to educate him about religion. hope ur hus is a believer of God.......
@jolope (988)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
if your hubby doesn't want to tell your son about God then he his missing the purpose of evangelism.. i think your decision to take your son to your pastor is the best thing to do..your son has to have a foundation of his faith..^_^ keep praying that your hubby will realize that your son is growing old and that he needs faith and that he needs God..^_^
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
13 Feb 07
i think your suggestion was a good idea. my hubby when he was younger was all up in the church thing, however this situation is a little different, but people kept aking fun of him and ended up turning him against god. but now i think hes getting back on track. when a young one comes and asks questions they should be answered the best way possible
• India
13 Feb 07
thats a scary thoght son askin his father all that, according to me he must be answered to it in a iintellectual manner to give him good sense of humanity
13 Feb 07
I think that you should answer all your childrens questions. They need to be able to see things from all points of view to make good choices about the way they run your life. You should tell you husband that it would be more worrying if he was just accepting everything he was told without question as he wouldn't succeed well in life in the future if he did this.
• Pakistan
13 Feb 07
i think that u must satisfy ur son on the point of religion religion is th centre of focus of one's life and if it fils to become the life becomes pretty meningless because we have to be answerable before Allah so if u fail to satisfy him u can always refer him to me insha ALLAH i wll satisfy him and will bring him to the path of truth any querries u can always reffer to irf.net
@lpipe0240 (1161)
• United States
13 Feb 07
That great that he is asking quesionts. But I would question your husband about his walk. I've been a beliver for close to 15 years now and still have tons of quesitons. I know pastors and such that still do not have God all figured out. Try and put your husband in your son's shoes so he can be more open with your son. It is important that not only you share your faith with your son, but your husband does as well.
@skydancer (2018)
• United States
13 Feb 07
It is quite normal for kids to ask questions when they get to a certain age, particularly when they reach high school/college age because that's about the time you're always asked to question everything. I think the pastor would probably be of help as they're probably used to situations like this. In any case, I think you're doing the right thing. =)
@jammyt (2822)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
I think you did just the right thing. I am just wondering why you hubby gets mad at your son. I think you should also talk to your hubby and actually find out why he gets mad to your son's questions. You know, I am a Catholic. Not a very religious one but I do my obligations, I have a strong faith. However, my husband and I do not really take it against people with different religions. We respect any religion and their beliefs. My husband and I believe that this is a topic that will have no winner at all. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and religion. Call Him God, Allah, Creator, Mentor... it all boils down to one thing, we all believe that someone is up there.
• Indonesia
13 Feb 07
The religion was the right for all humankind. The smallkids, parent or the person that has been was not powerfull have the right to be religius.The Lord was the available strength of his two.You must be sure that the lord's light will always release you and your child from all the fears and the concern.Please to speak for your husband bur was sure that the lord will always give you the strength with every one that love him.
@karthima (112)
• India
13 Feb 07
I have no decision about my son's religion. Now a days religion is convertible just in a moment. A paper makes them belong to other religion.I have no expectations to make my child a religious man. Religion is not an important factor as per my opinion. My son must be a good and kind hearted man. Not a man who goes back to religion.
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
13 Feb 07
Religion - Religion is ones faith or belief in god, allah, etc..
In a course of ones religion, it has taken a huge number of forms in various cultures and individuals
Kids are very curious about alot of things and in your case religion... My suggestion to you would be first off you and your husband may need to talk or as you said he can visit your pastor and talk with him. Reason being you and your significant other has different views about it, trying to explain it to your son or not at all.. Also, as being as curious as your son is, just thinking about how my son would react if their is a difference in opinion, that would make him want to talk more to the dad also, just to hear dad's views, like you are hiding something or maybe dad has something he possibly want to hear that you haven't said... who knows...But my son would, I know would definetly want to hear both sides, especially if I asked him not to talk to his father... Good luck to you and yours...I believe your son overall will find his answers and will still develope a relationship with god...
13 Feb 07
awwwe, what a shame for your son, i do understand your hubby and his beliefs but i agree with yourself, your son is only young and he is interested in religion and is right to ask questions, maybe find out if his school does r.e classes and maybe see about getting him into a short course there which he may find useful for him
@smartpk (193)
• Pakistan
13 Feb 07
although he is too young but you can teach him better so when the time will come and he'll understand and have good knowledge about relegion he he will adopt the right path.
• India
13 Feb 07
both my husband and me are atheists. while he does not believe at all, i do believe in a cosmic power but i dont believe in having to go to any temple/mosque/church etc to communicate. i have a part of that cosmic power within myself (everybody has it) and i can communicate whenever, wherever, however I feel so. this is the value i'm trying to inculcate in my 7yr old son. i'm just trying to make him grow as a good human being so that in his adult life, he can sleep better and face himself better in the morning after.