I am so angry right now I could scream!!

@ausnikki (4055)
Brisbane, Australia
February 13, 2007 5:53am CST
As alot of you would know by now my daughter is pregnant.I found out that my ex partner is claiming my grandchild as his.Now my ex and I split up over two and a half years ago,he was very abusive and I kicked him out.He is going around telling everyone that his "wifes" daughter is pregnant and that he is going to be a grandfather.We never married as I refused to marry him as I had a failed marriage already,and didn't want another one ,and I knew it wasn't going to work. But we did have a commitment ceremony,silly me!.I kicked him out only three months after the ceremony as I couldn't take the abuse any more.What right does he have to claim my grandchild? I am so angry! How dare he!!! grrr
10 people like this
32 responses
@lilaclady (28226)
• Australia
13 Feb 07
Oh that is a hard thing to have to take, maybe he is only doing it to upset you, I hope your daughter doesn't let him into her childs life too much, I hope she thinks of you.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
I can tell you right here and now lilaclady that my daughter despises him immensely.He will have no part in my grandchild's life at all.I just can't get over the gall of him
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
your daughter love you so much.. a little misunderstanding i think for solving the problem.
2 people like this
@kathy77 (7487)
• Australia
13 Feb 07
Yes this man has no right or claim to be the grandfather of this child. Some men unfortunately are like this with their weird thinking I do not knnw what you or if you can do anything about it at all he is probably only doing this to make you feel the way you do about this matter, and if it was me I would feel the same way.
3 people like this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
No he doesn't have any right to claim this child.It has made me very angry!
1 person likes this
• India
14 Feb 07
ya you are right he doesnt have any rights to claim the grandchild
2 people like this
@BELMCstar (1341)
• Australia
13 Feb 07
You just need to ignore him & his stupid ways. If you see a mutual friend, just let him know that you are not married, nor were you ever married, and therefore you are not his wife. It is interesting if he phrases it as "his wife's daughter" is pregnant. If he was truly to claim the child as a grandchild, then it would have to be his daughter as well. If you knew it was not going to work, why have a commitment ceremony, and what does that actually mean? I am 'married' legally, so have not thought about commitment ceremonies. Good on you for kicking him out, especially if he was abusive. There is nothing worse than an abusive partner. Tell him that you don't like the fact that he is claiming your grandchild as his. He had nothing to do with the birth of your daughter, and therefore nothing to do with the impending grandchild. Tell him to (x) off, if that will help.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
I will ignore him,he is a waste of space.A commitment ceremony is kind of like a wedding without the legalities.I knew it wasn't going to work but hadn't really admitted it to myself fully.He will have NOTHING to do with my grandchild not only myself but my daughter and her partner will make sure of it!
1 person likes this
@isasice (2015)
• Iceland
13 Feb 07
You have every right to be angry at him and he has absolutely no right to call this child his grandchild! I hope he will not be pestering your daughter when the baby is born, he should just stay away from you, your daughter and your grandchild. You were never his wife, she is your daughter, not his.
3 people like this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
Thank you.He will not pester my daughter believe me.My daughter will not take his crap!
2 people like this
@mel_87 (856)
13 Feb 07
i dont know how he can have the cheek to upset a family like that in the past and to go around saying that im not suprised to are so mad i would be definatly, he is probley doing it to annoy you
3 people like this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing it to annoy me,but then again he is very conceited.I am so angry!
3 people like this
@shoelover (896)
• Australia
13 Feb 07
I can definately understand why you are so angry. Out of curiosity have you done a ceremony to keep him out of your life? I did one when I was having a few family problems of my own and touch wood so far it has worked. If you would like to know more I can let you know. He does sound like he is wanting to still get back at you and I am glad your daughter does not want anything to do with him. He doesn't sound like a very nice person. Hugs my friend. If you ever need a hand let me know.
3 people like this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
Hi shoelover,I haven't done a ceremony to keep him out of my life.Please,I would like to know more.This "man" is very dangerous and I would like him out of my life permanently! Thank you for your support my friend.No he isn't a nice person at all!.
2 people like this
@missytia (387)
• Australia
13 Feb 07
What a jerk! Ex's can be such b*st*rds at times. My ex husband does things like this just to p*ss me off too and I get soooo angry at times too. Try and not let it get to you, this is what he wants. He has NO right to be apart of this baby's life, and he won't be. He can go around saying anything that he wants, but at the end of the day it will be about you, your daughter and her baby and he will have nothing to do with it.
2 people like this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
Thank you missytia,you are right he will have nothing to do with this child!
• Singapore
14 Feb 07
Based on how you respond to the others, i could basically comes to the conclusion that you and your daughter both despise this ex of yours a lot...and maybe he just did that to anger and annoy you? all i can say is that, don't let him win this game...don't let him gets to you...continue to be happy and rejoice with the coming of the baby...put this man out of your life and mind forever! treat him as invisible! if he's invisible, nothing he do/say will affect you at all. anyway, Congratulations to you and your daughter! :D
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
15 Feb 07
Thank you euniceeleanor ,yes we do both despise my ex.I will treat him as invisible as he means nothing to me.It just made me angry to think he is claiming my grandchild.Oh well,he can say what he likes,anyone who knows us knows the truth.
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
ohhhh.. what a terible man he is.. i think you give him a proper lesson like telling to the public that you dont already love him... grrrrrr... what a kind of person he is?????????????????
1 person likes this
• New Zealand
14 Feb 07
That horrible fiend! I want to kick his a**! Just be careful my friend. Hopefully he will leave you all alone. What he did to you makes me so angry. I think that he needs to be taught a lesson for sure! I hope that he learns it soon... Hugs my friend.
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Feb 07
Thank you Ally,I am so angry I could spit!He doesn't know where I live now and I intend to keep it that way!.I heard he was saying this through the grapevine and I don't understand what he is getting out of all these lies.I am not his wife and he has no right to claim my grandchild! hugs to you my friend
@pinklilly (3445)
• Australia
14 Feb 07
Hmm he's got some problems calling you his wife that would piss you off just in it's self and about being a grandfather to YOUR Daughters child, he needs to get a Life....
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Feb 07
My friend you have no idea how much it has pissed me off!He does need to get a life!
1 person likes this
@Sawsen (794)
• United States
13 Feb 07
For a minute there, I thought you meant he impregnated your daughter, but then I got it. I think he's just trying to push your buttons. Or maybe he's living in some fantasy world where he thinks he he's married to you. I would just ignore him, and tell those that he already spread the rumor to the truth. I don't think you should let him get to you, because it's what he probably wants.
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
13 Feb 07
You're probably right,he is doing it to get back at me or something stupid like that.I will be setting people straight don't worry about that!He is in a fantasy world.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
do not be upset, i think he is just trying to make you angry. just show him that you does not care about what he is saying. focus yourself on the welfare of your daughter and grandchild to be, it is a wonderful experience, and do not let it ruin by your ex. goodluck...
1 person likes this
@jsae29 (1120)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
Hey don't get yourself too mad. He's probably doing it to annoy you. So don't let him win the game.
@shaz6611 (951)
• Australia
14 Feb 07
Sounds like he's a bit of an attention seeker to me. I can understand your anger but the best thing you could do right now is ignore him. He knows he has no right to make these claims but I bet he also knows that making these claims will upset you....do your best to not make a fuss about it all, I'm sure eventually he will grow tired of these claims and find someone/something else to annoy.
1 person likes this
@padhukr (2267)
• India
14 Feb 07
dont loose your self confidence and stay away from worries
1 person likes this
@neon2000 (2758)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
If your ex doesn't stop, you can file a legal suit and seek an advice before a lawyer. I don't know what case to be filed but it is of course related to abusing to your daughter. He is a silly person who makes your family be in scandal.
• United States
14 Feb 07
Just ignore him because I think he knows that this thing bothers you and he wanted you to take notice of him again and he is succeeding because it made you angry. There are people that is just attention seeker and doesn't really grow up. I think he is one of them by trying to claim your grandchild as his. No matter what he says, he got no rights with you nor your daughter so he can't do anything about it. If he gets persistent, get a restraining order against him as a last resort.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11825)
• Australia
15 Feb 07
Do not let this "thing" upset you or sara ausnikki, because he is simply not worth it. Why give him the pleasure of spoiling what is a marvellous time for you and your family? He is not part of the family and is obviously not welcome in your home either and I am sure that he is well aware of that fact. This is just him seeking some attention, and of course he will get it from a number of people. As you say you were never married so he can claim no relationship with Sara either and I gather from other comments you have made here that she doesn't want anything to do with him either. If she is serious in this, if he does send her anything, then she should return it. This way he has no reason even to visit when the new family member is welcomed to this world. Again, do not let him upset any of you, as this is probably what his aim is, besides the attention he will get as a grandfather. Also he would be well aware of your feelings, and might still be feeling slighted that you kicked him out. Also since that time you have gone ahead in leaps and bounds, with your new house etc, and that probably pains him more. The male ego. :)
@ossie16d (11825)
• Australia
15 Feb 07
Oh I see that you have changed your avatar again. No wonder I am getting confused. Oh I do hope that Sara and Chris arrived okay. :)
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
17 Feb 07
Sara and Chris arrived safe and well.It is great to have them here.You are right about my ex,he is just an attention seeker and not worth my time.I'm not letting him upset me at all.
@ossie16d (11825)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
I can see you are seriously working on this problem with "the louse", as I now call him, because of your new avatar. Close inspection of it shows me that it is actually you in a pink "fat suit" jumping up and down all over the louse till you squash him completely flat ausnikki. :)
@Tetchie (2932)
• Australia
14 Feb 07
First thing - go and have a good scream. I don't like doing the psyche number on you BUT. Somehow you are still hanging onto this guy, otherwise he wouldn't be hanging around still being a pest. You took control of your life and made changes, like no longer wanting the abuse. But somehow you are still attracting it. so what's this all about? Are you holding onto a fear about being dissempowered. What you fear you attract, it is quite true. So even though you made changes, what does this guy do to you? Go to the source and change yourself from there. It's your reaction and he is triggering it. Heal the reason you react and this guy is history - he'll go find another person to leach onto. Take a bit of time out, breath deeply and have a look. Have you got a good friend that can reflect you and help find your problem? Heartness to you.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Feb 07
First of all this man is not in my life and hasn't been for a long time.That's why I am so furious.I do not see him,speak to him or have any contact with him whatsoever.In fact I have moved and he has no idea where I live.I found out about him claiming my grandchild through the grapevine.
@Tetchie (2932)
• Australia
14 Feb 07
He may not be physically in your life, but he certainly is having an effect on it. That's what I meant.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Feb 07
I suppose you are right,just the thought of him annoys me lol