How do you disciplin a 15 month old?

Zach - 15 months
United States
February 13, 2007 12:27pm CST
My son is very smart but when it comes to listening when I say NO, he just doesn't! He is constantly getting into things he's not suppose to be getting into. I smack his hand and say no. He just smiles and walks away and gets into something else. I smack his hand hard too but he never cries. I tried to put him in "timeout", I sat him on his chair and made him stay there but it doesn't seem to phase him because he goes right back getting into things. I try putting him in his crib, I tried putting him in a gated play area but he just throws all his toys out and screams. I don't believe in spanking him, so what else can I do!
11 people like this
44 responses
• United States
13 Feb 07
I don't believe you meant it to be this way; but upon reading your article myself; it seems that you are in a constant battle to get your child away from you, or to be good enough to go un-noticed. Perhaps alot of the behaviorl problems could be successfully addressed by spending more time getting down on the floor at his level and playing with him. Though play you can teach him not to throw things, get into things that do not belong to him etc. At this age; it takes alot of patience, smiles, and hands on instruction in order for the child to understand what is expected of them. The bonus is; you get tons of hugs and sloppy kisses, and form a bond that will last a lifetime. OH! I can also tell you from the experience of raising three toddlers; that time-out crap, is just that- crap. What a waste of effort. I think it's all bullocks. My children are all well behaved, intelligent, self controlled teens and I did it without time outs. Timeouts just never seemed to actually address a problem, to me.*shrug* Enjoy the day, and all the best!Acuity
@Riptide (2758)
• United States
14 Feb 07
What a rude thing to say acuity.She is just looking for a creative way to discipline her child. She wants to keep him safe and not get into things that could harm him. And time outs do work, anybody who ever watched supernanny knows that. All children are different, maybe yours didn't need timeout but some kids do. And to the OP, your baby looks absolutely adorable. It sounds like he is very strongwilled,which can be a good thing later on in live. Just be patient and I'm sure it will all work out fine. He sounds like a bright child.
• United States
14 Feb 07
the last thing i want to do is "push" my child away. I'm a single mom, I work 8 hours a day and he goes to a nanny, so when I get off of work he is my top priority. I don't just ignore him. I don't see how you get that acusation. I think my son is just curious and very strong willed, he wants to push my buttons to see what he can get away with. I have no problem with his bed time, he goes to bed at 8 and he doesn't give me any trouble with that. He has 2 naps during the day at the nannys. thanks to those who defended me....im definately not trying to "get my child away from me"
• United States
14 Feb 07
This, i'm sorry to say, was actually my first reaction too. I have an 18 month old and have this woman's same problem.. I also know that it stems from me trying to get things done around here and her wanting my attention. i find the best way to deal is to play with her too. I also have tried to remove the reoccering "problem" areas in the house. Now being a mother of three i know what i'm doing is only delaying the inevitable lesson of "NO". But you know what? isn't it easier to teach this when the child can communicate better? Another way to get the situation under control here is I keep nap times strict. nap time is nap time; bed time is bed time. Best parenting tip i have ever followed right there. a good two hour nap and you can get alot done. the trick is not to sit down during nap time :( good luck dear and hey no offense meant by agreeing that you probably are trying to keep the child "quiet and calm and out of the way" I know how it is trying to get stuff done wheither it is just trying to tune into your self or house work.
• United States
13 Feb 07
Try to redirect his interest. My 2 yr old is like that sometimes. I try to avoid spanking. Putting him in his bed is bad. He will see that as a timeout place and not a place to rest. I also find that if I ask Emma to help me with something, her behavior totally changes. Also instead of just saying "no", try telling him why. I would say: "No, you will get hurt if that drops on you". An example, but you get the idea. Good luck!!
@ky1119 (698)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I agree. Redirection is a good way to go. Playing with them is great, too. When my kids were little, the housework could always wait until they were napping or in bed for the night. Depending on what it was they were getting into, I'd try to tell them no and consequences that they could understand. For example, if they came into the kitchen while I was cooking and near the stove, I'd tell them "No, don't touch, that's hot" as I redirected them. Granted the electric outlets had covers,I still didn't want them messing with them so I'd say "No, that will bite you" ( I didn't know what else to say for that lol). 15 month olds aren't easy to discipline. They're so full of energy. Your efforts aren't lost, eventually you'll see your child begin to understand.
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
13 Feb 07
It's hard when they are that young, they really don't understand but I use to work for a lady who would put her kids in their crib for timeout. Only for a minute at a time and this seemed to work great. Take the toys out of the crib so he can't throw them out. He probably will scream and cry because he doesn't like it, but eventually he will learn the reason you are doing this.
• Canada
13 Feb 07
i'm not sure if the crib is the best place. they will start to think that they are in trouble when you put them down for a nap or to sleep at night and might not sleep cuase they think you'll be comming back in a minute to end their time out. it might really confuse them. try a special chair, or even sit them in a corner, or on a matt on the floor.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Feb 07
I agree, to punish a child by containing them in their sleeping space is really a bad idea. They definately will eventually connect it with punishment and then you'll have a whole new set of issues at bedtime.
@aradia (68)
• United States
13 Feb 07
My best advice is just to be consistent. I agree that his sleeping place may not be the best place for it. And it will get slightly easier as he gets older and you can explain to him exactly why he's there, and know that he understands. Try a special chair, a certain spot on the floor, or even get a play pen to set up where you can remove his toys, remove him from being able to see and giggle with other people, and leave him there for 1 minute or so. I do believe that when children are that young, the time they should be in time-out should be equivalent in minutes as their age. Such as, a 3 year old would get 3 minutes in time out, a 2 year old would get two minutes. Unless they are really doing something dangerous or harmful to other people, the age-minute rule should suffice. This will also make it easier to ground him later in life (if the situation arises) as he will already be used to not having what he wants when he misbehaves. He will know what will happen if he breaks curfew or something like that. Need more tips? Watch Supernanny on CBS (i think) or it might be ABC. Monday nights at 9. The nanny's name is Jo, and I think she's fantastic. She can teach you how to play with him to keep him occupied, and how to discipline him when need be. Good luck! And by the way...he's adorable!
• United States
13 Feb 07
Thank you everyone for your advice. Im going to try all the suggestions that were made. and I'm definately going to work on my patience...thats a big thing! thanks again!
• United States
13 Feb 07
Thank you everyone for your advice. Im going to try all the suggestions that were made. and I'm definately going to work on my patience...thats a big thing! thanks again!
• United States
13 Feb 07
My baby is only 5 months old. He has a walker and he is already using that to get into things that he shouldn't. I do agree that their attention span is short and it takes a while for a child to learn no. So what I have been doing say if he was trying to play with something he shouldn't I smack his hand just hard enough to get his attention, tell him no very firmly and then I redirect his attention elsewhere. He is also bad about sticking his hand in his mouth when I try to feed him baby food. Well he was at the beginning. From the very start when he tried to play with his food I popped his hand told him no and tried giving him another spoonful. He still tries it some but not nearly as much as when we first started. I think its all about consistency.
• Canada
13 Feb 07
i started time out at about that age with my daughter. it didn't happen very often but i was consistant if she was being bad and not listneing. don't be too stict at this age they are still learning but time outs go by age and if your son is one it's 1 minute time out. i know it doens't seem long to us but for a child who dones't have a long attention span it's a long time. make sure when they are done their time outs that you reming why he was sitting there and tell him not to do it again. and apologize if he can speak yet.
1 person likes this
@kerobin (35)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
maybe the proper way is to talk to your baby, explain to them, baby today are smart wise already.. dont spank them
• Netherlands
13 Feb 07
I disagree. A 15 month old is not able to understand all the reasoning behind things. What are you talking about?
1 person likes this
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Very young children may understand that they aren't supposed to do certain things, but they just don't have the self-control yet to stop themselves from doing them! I don't believe in spanking a child until they are 3 or 4 and begin to have the self-control, and then it should be used sparingly. You don't have to spank a child a lot, they only have to know that you will if necessary. Before that age it is best to just distract them with another activity. A child who feels loved by her mother will want her approval will learn to mind to gain that approval. And often children will misbehave just to get attention.
@wamgirl (50)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I have a 15 month old myself and I'm sorry to say there is just no such thing LOL He smiles and laughs at me all the time when I try and put him in his place. He will grow up soon enough and listen. Thats what i keep telling myself anyway.
• United States
14 Feb 07
haha yes, I keep telling myself that too! although i don't want him to "grow up" i just want him to "grow out of this stage" but I guess they come hand in hand!
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
14 Feb 07
i have an 8 month old and she is the same way. She is always getting into everything and when we try to smack her hand she just goes right back to it. I try to move her away but she just goes back to it again. I guess this may be normal cause she is still young yet but it's driving me crazy. i am not for spanking either but my husband is. I don't really know what to tell you except maybe spanking is the only way just because once he gets hit and it hurts him he won't be trying to get hit again so maybe he will stop.
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Well, the time outs are inaffective because he is still too young to really understand that, i would wait until he is 2 years old to innitiate time outs. With a fifteen month old it is really hard, as he doesn't always understand why he's in trouble. I think you just need to be consistent.. pick one thing ( I suggest hand smacking, it's usually the most affective) and stick with it. Even if you choose to spank.. I think 15 months is a little young for that kind of discipline. It may take him awhile to get the message, but eventually he'll get it, that when he does something he knows he's not supposed to, his hand will hurt. He could just be a strong-willed little guy.. and is trying to test his boundaries already.. (my oldest started about this age), stick with ONE form of discipline though, and use it consistently.. and you should start to see a change (hopefully, some kids don't care what you do to them.. they want to do what they want.. with those types.. you have to make the punishment something they would rather not face.. for a 15 month old, I guess you'll have to be creative..) (: Good luck.. it's a phase.. it'll pass.. (:
• United States
14 Feb 07
I really hope it's just a phase and it passes quickly! I usually smack his hand tell him no and then remove him from whatever he is doing and put him in front of all his toys but he just smiles at me and sometimes laughs then gets up and starts doing something else!
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
14 Feb 07
First of all, I just want to tell you that your son is absolutely adorable. Every solution I thought of though was one that you have already tried. I was going to say put him in his crib. How long do you leave him in there for? Maybe it's not long enough. You also need to speak in a firm voice and tell him what he's doing wrong. I know he's still pretty young, and at that age kids are into everything. Hopefully it will pass with time. Maybe you could try taking toys away from him and putting them up high and say, "This is what happens when you don't listen." He probably won't understand you, but within a few months he will. I hope I have helped a little!
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
14 Feb 07
at that age its really hard to find something that works. they are going to be curious.
@langhua (501)
• China
14 Feb 07
yes ,you are right .all the baby are the same as your children.it 's very hard to take a baby ,when he is young.you should take care of him.and teach him some things ,all the baby are cleaver,if we teach them in little age,they can learn quickly.
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I do the same things with my son and he doesn't care. I think it is how some little boys are, it is so frustrating when you are getting on to them and they just smile at you. I try to calm down and just tell him that is not how we behave.
• United States
14 Feb 07
Hi. I am a mother of 2 children. Even at a young age children learn by example and by imitating others. What you can try to do is say something like this: "Toys are not for throwing" "Chairs are not for standing on . . ." Do not say no and smack him all the time. What you are teaching him is that he will get negative attention no matter what he does. Instead start you sentence with whatever object he is getting into and teach him what it is used for. If he is smart he will eventually get the idea. Believe me this works. You just need to be patient and do over and over again. If you want to give me a more specific example of what he is doing I can help you phrase it the right way.
• United States
14 Feb 07
Thank you! Some thing that he does is he constantly is turning the TV on and off, he learned how to open the kitchen cabinets even with the child proof on, he throws everything in the trash then dumps it over to get everything out, he tries to pull the blinds off the window, and there is soo much more! He has almost every toy in the world but barely plays with any of them because he is too busy getting into everything else. I am always following him around saying "don't touch that" "get away from there" "NO". It's like he doesn't listen to me when I say no but when I tell him to do something he will do it. like i'll tell him to go get his shoes he'll go get him or go get your jacket he'll get it. Sometimes when he's doing something he's not suppose to I will say "come help mommy" and most of the time he will come help me but then go striaght back to getting into things again! its like a never ending battle!
@padhukr (2267)
• India
14 Feb 07
do meditation and hear relaxation and pray to god that your child will soon hear your voice
@CU4799 (25)
• India
14 Feb 07
If you are a stay-at-home mom, the best suggestion I would suggest is stay with him throughout the day. Dont bother if you are havent taken your bath, cleaned your dishes or even if the house is in a mess. I am very particular in this aspect because this is the age for children to do all pranks. You should be gifted to enjoy it.Once he goes to sleep do all your household chores and get ready to be with him again when he gets up. You can not get back these days once he grows old and never stays at home.
@thanmeir (141)
• Indonesia
14 Feb 07
sometimes yes and sometimes no, its all hanging with the condition haven
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
You can always start with soft words of correction and if he is still stubborn maybe a little pinch will do.
• United States
14 Feb 07
when you put him in his gated area make sure there are no toys in there or use a play pen something with no toys around and let him holler it wont hurt and tell him when he is done crying you can come out. most important is consitancey and telling him why he is being punished. This doesnt work over nite but it will so be patient.......
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
I suggest you just let him be since he is just a 15months old child. My eldest daughter was also the same running here and there. What i did was to child proof our living room to give her a lot of room to move around that is safe. I moved the things that might hurt her and those things that she might eat...LOL.. Kids are really like that and they could not really understand us yet. I believe in letting the children roam free for they would be happier that way and its also a form of self-expression for them. Your 15 year is still developing his motor and visual skills that would really make him very curious and handful. We as parents should provide the best environment for our children to grow and develop and that includes letting them have a safe space of their own and not stiffling their movements.