What do you say to someone that had a loved on die?

That is extremely helpful to know....... I do understand the feeling of grief and missing a loved one. My mother is facing cancer. She was cancer free for over 1 year, but now it has decided to grow back in more areas. I go through spurts of grieving her as if she'll be gone soon and the deep heart pain of not ever being able to see her or hear her voice again. My parents are my best friends. Then I think back at when my husband's grandfather passed away.....and My husband was so heart broken for so long and there was nothing I could do or say....I don't want to be like that either. I'm coming to findout the everyone has to grieve their own way and they're the only ones that can do it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts....!

You make a great point. My mom is big into geneology and has lots of photo albums for several family members already put together. I did mention to her I'd like to see hers and maybe we could write little notes by her photos so I can pass on memories and stories about the photos. Thanks for your input.

I am truly sorry to hear the cancer is back. I would like to offer a suggestion to do while your mom is still here with you ~ put together a book/photo album of what your mom's life was about. She will be able to give you insight on what her life has meant to her and what things she would lilke to have in it. This will be of great comfort to you later on. I only wish I had time to have done this with my late husband, my dad, and my sister. All of their deaths were sudden and so unexpected. I would have loved to had a book like that for each of them. I am doing one now for my boys to have oncce I am gone.

I too have a really hard time at knowing what to say to someone either. There really is no magical word or words that bring complete comfort and ease. I'm here if you need anything....might be a nice gesture.

"i`m sorry for your loss, you can count on me for everything"

Thank you for your response

I appreciate your response. You're right about having to go through the grieving process.

I think I'd stop at my condolences.....seems a little harch to tell someone to face reality and move on. Even though it is the next step......I guess most people just need to figure out how to get past the grief to be able to move on. Something I'm finding comforting...is a comment someone made to me. That the pain will get lesser and lesser with time and in time it'll be easier to talk about the memories with the person without bursting into tears.

Thanks....I figured that was the case. I could only imagine if I was the one with the loss.