Abortion or adoption?

@fabwisp (1327)
February 14, 2007 1:46pm CST
I'm doing a psychology degree and need to do some research for an assignment I am doing and wonder if you could help me out. What would you do in the situation of being pregnant and not only do you not want a baby at this time in your life, you have found out that the child will be born with severe mental and physical handicaps? You have been told by the medical proffession that for the rest of the childs life it will need constant round the clock attention. Men you are welcome to answer this question too. What would you advise your partner to do? Honest responses would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
8 people like this
41 responses
• India
15 Feb 07
i will suggest to abort the baby cause as the kid will be handicapped then by giving him/her birth we will only bring trouble to he/she ... its better to let him/her die(abortion) before he/she could even know about how much difficult world might be for a handicapped one...
3 people like this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
15 Feb 07
You don't ask easy questions do you? Considering the scenerio you set up I would lean towards abortion. I would have to ask myself what quality of life could this child have if I delivered it. Even if I gave it up for adoption the chances are it would never be adopted since it would be a special needs baby. It would be shuttled around from foster home to foster home and not neccessarily have the care it would need or deserve. If I kept the baby could I be able to give it what it would need, physically as well as financially. I doubt I could. So we have a child that would be serverally handicapped and would not be able to do much in the way of living since it would need round the clock attention and would always require someone to take care of it. That isn't a life. I would not want to live that way. Yes I would probably go with abortion at that point.
2 people like this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you very much. The thought processes that go on in a scenario like this are immense. But there are people that do have to face this decision. And I for one truly feel for them, as it turns their whole code of ethics and thought processes upside down.
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I hope I am never in that situation. I agree though there are some who are and I feel for them. I'd hate to have to make that choice. It's a shame that they are put into that position sadly though life happens and we have to deal with the problems it places upon us.
15 Feb 07
I would always keep my baby regardless of what is wrong with it. Even if I wasn't expecting to have a baby and didn't really feel I wanted one I couldn't abandon it. I would never have an abortion. I think I might consider putting the baby up for adoption if I didn't have a house or a job or any way of looking after it.
2 people like this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you for your view.
• United States
15 Feb 07
I am a 38 year old woman and I do not want any more children, I have one and she is going on 20. I take precautions (birth control)and I wonder what would happen if I became pregnant. Well since I am on B/C the child would most likely be born with some type of disablity, but I am against abortion. I also am getting ready to obtain custody of my brothers 4 girls and 2 of the 4 have developmental problems, so my answer to your question is no I would not have an abortion, children are gifts from God and he has a plan for everyone of them, even the ones that are born with disablity's. I feel that abortion is for cases of rape, incest or maybe if the mother is going to die during child birth, but in todays day and age abortion is being used as a form of birth control and that is not what it was intended for. I would consult with my partner, but in the end it would be my choice.
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
14 Feb 07
i think i cannot answer to this question...not in the right way. one of my best dream is to have a baby...therefore I would say..oh my dear life is life and I would defend my baby from everything and everybody..I would give my baby all the love I know I have in my hearth and I keep here for him or her...all I want in life is to become mother and be a good mother...but this is not the answer to your question because this is what I think here...and I am not the one who is going to have this pregnancy..I am not the woman who knows that her beloved baby is going to suffer from sure all his or her life....how could I tell you...if I were her...I am not her..I don't know how she is feeling...I don't know how much she suffers and don't know what I would do if i were her...because when you suffer everything changes and nobody can tell you what to do or can truly understand you
• India
15 Feb 07
The best option i think that will solve your situation is to abort it.
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you EVERYONE for all your valuable comments.
@not4me (1711)
• United States
15 Feb 07
This is a tough question. I feel that by the time these deformities would be caught the baby would be old enough to feel pain, so I wouldn't have the heart to abort. On the other hand, I don't have much patience with children as it is - even my two awesome kids are a challenge (because of my upbringing, despite years of therapy) so I would have to give the baby up for adoption. I don't have the patience to be a caregiver for the rest of my life. Call me selfish but I would half to give the baby up.
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
I think that is a very brave decision to make
• India
15 Feb 07
hiya fabwisp. nice that you are doing psychology degree and good wishes for that. now coming to your question me and my wife really went through this situation when she was pregnant with our son. three doctors whom we consulted told us that the baby isnt there and just the feotal node has been formed. as such she needs to go in for an MTP. However, we werent ready as it was a precious pregnancy..not to make it too long, ultimately after thorough examinations, tests, and ultrasound i cant even remember those names, we were assured of a healthy baby. so we went for it and my son is healthy one and half yrs old now. Coming to the situation you quoted, i would have taken atleast three more expert opinions to confirm before deciding. if all were against then i would have preferred and convinced my partner(naturally painful for her) to discontinue rather than suffer round the clock seeing our own baby suffering throughout the life. i dont know if my comments will be of any help or not for your reasearch..
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you ever so much. I am very pleased things turned out ok for you in the end.
@kaydee10 (268)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
I will go for abortion. Its not that I dont want to take care of the child round the clock, but as a mother I will be very hurt of what the baby's condition is making him miserable and not to enjoy life.
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you for your insight.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
If I am faced with that kind of situation, I'd still keep my baby regardless of the medical condition he/she would be facing if given the chance to be born. Only God knows what the child's future will be. No doctor or any human being can predict how his/her life will turn out to be. In real life, I got pregnant with my child at a time when I wasn't ready yet. But the moment I learned that I was pregnant, I told myself that abortion will never become an option. When I look at my daughter today, I know I made the right decision. She brings so much happiness to my life and I never would have experienced the joy of motherhood had I been a coward in taking responsibility for my actions.
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you for your views.
• India
15 Feb 07
I would ask my partner to abort the child.Not becuase i dont want a mentally ill child or i dont want to have the burden but because i would never want to see my child suffer throughout his life...
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you for your honest opinion.
@sonnet (165)
• South Korea
15 Feb 07
In the particular situation you outlined I would have an abortion, and if it happened to a friend I'd advise for an abortion. The entire circumstance is a sad one and there can be no happy ending. The only way it could work is if the woman made the decision to bear full responsibilty for her baby - to have the child and to not abandon it up for adoption. This would change her whole life forever and I admire the woman who could do that.
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Yes I agree it would be a very brave decision either way.
@kaplya (1578)
• India
15 Feb 07
i'll opt for aborting my child because even if he lives what will be the use of his life even for himself? i would be only doing it out of selfishness if i have this child saying that after all it is going to be my own baby because it's not a worthy life for any individual and i won't like my child to have it too.though i'll be guilt ridden all of my life for this choice but it would be the best choice,i think..
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you for your honesty.
@nitsy_s (1028)
• India
15 Feb 07
Its very easy to say "get an abortion done"...I am totally against abortion,its like killing ur own child before its born. Doesnt matter how mentally ill the child is gonna be, but atleast the poor thing will be alive...The satisfaction that u will get fo taking care of your child is gonna be unimaginable..
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
As always your opinon is greatlu appreciated.
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I would definitely get an abortion. I know some people believe that is wrong, but I don't have a problem with it. People think you should have the child and make the best of it. But with the world being so hard today for people without problems, I can't imagine a child with problems. So no, I would not have the child.
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Again many thanks, I know it is a hard one to answer.
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
i think id rather have the baby aborted.. i know its a big mistake that i'll be commiting but definitely as a mother, i wouldnt want him to be aggravated in any form or any way one could imagine. given his condition, he might be thought of some science freak show...given if my husband says so. if not, i'll go with the pregnancy and do the best thing i could do for my child.
@fabwisp (1327)
15 Feb 07
Thank you so much for your honest opinion.
@hell_123 (228)
• India
15 Feb 07
hi dude i think u r doing a god job i can say only i thing
1 person likes this
@bhogz13 (126)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
If that is the case of my child i'll let it to be aborted...i am a prolife but i do beliv in not prolonging the agony or rather starting to have an agony.Let it be in that way because not only the parents but also the child will suffer...
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Feb 07
I personally feel that if the baby is going to be in that bad of shape that an abortion isn't out of the question.. I'm pro-life, but only to an extent. If there is severe complications with the mother or the child, I feel it's in everyone's best interest to do what's best for the whole and that is to not bring a child into the world that will be in any kind of agony for their entire lifetime .. That being said, on any other instance where the mother and baby are not in harms way at all, I think adopting out is the only right thing to do.
@heynow123 (147)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
This all depends if you want to go through the whole 9 month process, considering if it is an accicent. But this is all i'm going to say. Only becasue it is kind of personal
1 person likes this