Have you encountered parents who call their children "dumb/stupid" in public?

@merkava (1225)
Philippines
February 15, 2007 7:49am CST
Is that really called for? I was at the groceries a few hours ago and I encountered these parents. They were shouting at their 6 year old kid because the kid opened a bag of chips when it's not paid. They spanked him and kept calling him dumb and stupid. I just tried to reason with the parents to take it easy because kids will be kids. I even offered them money to pay for the chips. Even the store clerks just said that it's no charge. I really feel sorry for the kid. All who saw them kept their eyes focused till the family left. I'm pretty sure it'll traumatize the poor kid. What would you do if you encountered parents like these?
2 people like this
3 responses
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
15 Feb 07
What you did was such a nice thing, offering to pay for the chips and all. The parents were probably embarrassed, as they should have been! I feel sorry for children that have parents like this. If this is what happens in a store, in front of so many other people, can you imagine how they talk to the kid at home? Telling a child that he is stupid, dumb, or ugly etc... will cause them to grow up with a very poor self-esteem which could have negative implications for them throughout their entire life. A simple spank on the butt is OK, I think, especially if the child is not behaving as he should. I don't think that I would have tried to reason with the parents, because I would have been afraid that they would have become very defensive and started a real scene in front of the child. This must have been a very uncomfortable situation for everyone there.
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
I believe in discipline. I've had spankings and scolds from my parents during my youth but they never shamed me in public like that at least not after they did it the first time. I was in 1st year college and they shouted at me because I didn't have the clearance paper that should be signed by my professors. My dad yelled at me and worst, the college was 90 percent female and it's a roman catholic convent type of college. The nuns and mothers there were sorry for me and they comforted my father and said that the clearance papers are merely for confirmation if he has no debt with the university. After the nuns comforting my dad he felt really ashamed during the entire day. For me, it was a day in my college life I wouldn't forget. Instead of becoming famous, I was infamous. That's why I had to transfer to another university. Oh well, lessons learned in life are not all for just youngsters.
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
Oh, did I mention that all of that yelling happened in the middle of the hall where all the students, nuns and dean official were present. My dad shouted so loud that everyone was silenced and just stared at us.
@renagades (342)
• India
15 Feb 07
no i will not . thats very much shame for us . that my parents have never done to me , they will praise me behalf of the others , thats one thing nice with my parents .
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
Lucky for you. I had to experience some tough love from my parents. I was quite a rebel even if I had the brains. I guess because I was beaten up during school by bullies I could take out my anger outside the school premises like vandalize and do other stupid things.
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I would definitely try to talk to them - if they are the kind that could actually listen to others - but from what you describe - the way they were acting - I bet they don't listen to others much at all and that's a total shame because when you say things like that to your child - especially in front of others - they will tend to think that is how they are and will believe it!! It's so sad to see these kinds of things happen - and you really have to feel so bad for the child!!! They are only doing harm to their child and are probably going to wreck any sense of self-esteem this lil one had!!!!
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
I think they misunderstood what "tough love" means. They need to be firm, not overpowering.
1 person likes this