Husband goes to bed very late! Worried about his health!

@wayz12 (2059)
United States
February 15, 2007 8:02am CST
My husband rarely goes to bed on time. He spent most of the night on the computer and would lose track of time until its almost the wee hours of the morning. He has always had bad sleeping habits according to him. For years, before we were together, he would watch TV and fall asleep on the couch until morning. He rarely get a proper night sleep. Unfortunately, he has severe uncontrolled hypertension and has been in and out of the hospital for such ailment for the past months. He was advice to eat healthy, do exercise and sleep well. However, after a few nights of going to bed early, he would again slipped back to his old patterns. How do you help someone overcome such an ingrained habit? Do anybody here have the same problem or issues?
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2 responses
@foxyfire33 (10008)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I have the same problem with mine. Between his work schedule and sleep habits we rarely share a bed. I can't say that I've come up with a solution yet but I have tried a few things that seemed to work short term. The first was to simply talk to him and tell him that I needed him to come to bed earlier. For awhile I'd just tell him I was going to bed and I'd see him in a few minutes. Right now we're in a rough patch where the unspoken rule is that if he can't come to bed at a decent hour, not to bother. We have a fairly new baby so I told him I needed my sleep and I wasn't going to put up with him coming in at all hours of the night waking us up.
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@wayz12 (2059)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I can totally feel for you. We don't have children but I have a job that requires me to wake up early and if I had a bad night I usually end up having a bad day. During the first few years of our marriage, it used to upset me greatly when he doesn't come to bed and I would stay up late waiting for him. But unlike him, if I don't get my full night sleep, I would feel like a zombie the next day and would not be productive. I just finally gave up and went to bed on my own. But now that his health have taken a turn for the worse, the old argument has risen back to the surface. And once again, I still do not have a solution.
@sonnet (165)
• South Korea
15 Feb 07
He sounds like both my dad and myself. In the case of my dad, he's been like that all his life and he's well into his 60's now. My parents have slept in seperate rooms since I was a kid because of it. I don't think he'll ever change. He suffers from depression and anxiety. The same situation has become an increasing problem for me also and I'm trying to correct it before it becomes too ingrained also. Lately I make myself go to bed early even when I'm not tired and I lie down and read and amazingly I get sleepy so fast, I fall asleep with the light on and I wake very early which helps me get tired earlier again the next night. If your hubby enjoys reading, a good dense book in bed can serve as a replacement for the tv and couch. Finding ways to stay in bed even if he isn't sleepy will help break old habits and set new routines. It's really hard, I think you have to want it very much to fix this kind of cycle. I know I want it a lot so I'm working on it. Also, I try to plan activies early in the morning so I have to go to sleep and be up by a decent time.
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@wayz12 (2059)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I love your suggestion about moving him towards reading. I know he loves to read but does not do it as much because the computer is a far stiffer competition. We don't even own a TV anymore and because of that his couch-sleeping nights have stopped. But now, it has been replaced with office-chair napping, complete with computer screen glaring white at him. He tells me when he wakes up that he feels like crap and would resolve to go to bed early the next night and then would promptly forget that resolution when night time comes. I guess I can only keep reminding. Thanks for the suggestions.