my boyfriend did not spend valentine with me...

@djmarion (4900)
Philippines
February 16, 2007 1:52am CST
hey, i just want to share this with you...my boyfriend and i were together for more than 3 years now and i could says within that span of time he has been a very ideal man that any woman could wish for, he is very supportive, understanding, faithful, sweet, kind and everything to say....i really have no dull moment with him so i started to think that maybe he really is the right man for me to share my future with.. but just recently he started to change, he began to spend little time with me when i ask about his whereabouts he will just shrug his shoulder and say at home or doing something.... i really feel that something is not going right, this valentine he was nowhere to be found.... is it true that women have this instinct when their men are cheating? cause sometimes i feel my man is cheating on me. help me please, what shall i do to gain back his love.
4 people like this
39 responses
• United States
16 Feb 07
If he has changed obviously something is wrong because the changes you are talking about are not good. But to assume that he is cheating is not good either. Take the bull by the horn and let him know that you two need to talk. Don't say it with a attitude because you put his back up against the wall and he won't even want to talk. If it is a case of him cheating you need to discuss what the problem is. If he is not in love with you than of course there is nothing else to say. You need to let him loose and not in a angry way. Let him know you are hurt but if that is what he wants than you will let him go. But make sure he understands that you still love him very much.
@soriano (112)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
i agree with you.
2 people like this
• Canada
16 Feb 07
Good advice Sunshine! :)
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4900)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
nice advice sunshine...thank you.
• China
16 Feb 07
i am sorry to hear that .i can see you love him very much and deeply.Although i haven't a boyfriend ,i have one advice to you . if you think the problem is in existence ,you should talk with each other seriously and resolve it.But i want to say if the love is gone ,don't reluctance.
2 people like this
@djmarion (4900)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
thank you for the opinion, you know up to now i haven't see him.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
16 Feb 07
djmarion, you haven't still seen him up to now? how come? when you two just live in the same place, right? have you phoned him? or texted? i sorry to ask so many questions. but i really hope you see each other soon because the situation is really bothering you. it's not easy to keep your hopes hanging questioning where he could be. still, i hope he pops out soon and be with you.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Feb 07
don't wait till he could dump u,ok? though the result is terrible,u should be active.
1 person likes this
@tediol (37)
• Nigeria
16 Feb 07
just sit him down and talk to him.
1 person likes this
• Canada
16 Feb 07
Exactly, you don't need some master strategy, just be open and ask what's up. Don't trust a cheater though, they'll just cheat again.
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4900)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
you have a point there tediol, thanks for the advice.
• United States
16 Feb 07
I absolutely believe in a woman's intuition and its proven itself to me many times. Usually, where there's smoke, there's fire. Not to say he's absolutely cheating on you, but there's definitely something between you that you need to work out. Sit him down and talk to him about it in a no-nonsense way that he can't wiggle out of. Lay all of the cards on the table. Sorry you were alone for V-day :( Hope things work out!
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4900)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
thanks for the advice. have a nice day.
@alaguc (61)
• India
16 Feb 07
hmmm......well those are symptoms of the cheating man alright but before you do anything rash i suggest you find out whats really happening......since uve been together three years now...mayb he's tired of waiting....so id say go straight out and ask him for the truth and do all you can save the relationship if you think he is the right man.....
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4900)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
i guess so...thank you.
@soriano (112)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
maybe the love was gone, if thats the case it would be useless for you to keep the relationship, i know breaking up is hard to do but if you continue without the love you will be hurt moreover.
1 person likes this
@soriano (112)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
you got a point.
• India
16 Feb 07
Hi Marion! First of all wish you a very happy valentine's day!! :-) I hope this helps you to understand what happening in your relationship. Have you heard of this saying, " If you truly love someone, let it go free, if it comes back it was true...but if it doesnt, it was never yours" Its important to love someone as they are...and as they are not! So if your boyfriend doesnt get that, it is his loss!!!
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4900)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
hello jana, happy valentine too even if its a bit late. i always heard that saying, and sometimes i wonder if this really is true.
@vhinjc (342)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
is there a possibility that you did something wrong, this could be a reason why your boyfriend changed towards you.
@djmarion (4900)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
i know, as far as i can remember i did not do anything wrong.
• Pakistan
17 Feb 07
friend this situation usually comes out when u gonna pay less attention or love to ur boyfriend,so i think may b some time he felt that u dont love,care him as much as u gave him,so gonna talk interest in someother grl.So i think u try to give him full time show ur deep love b expressive and then see..I HOPE n I m cofident that he will b back with same emotions n love..My prays are with u..
1 person likes this
• India
17 Feb 07
I think he maybe cheating you as he never gives you an idea of his whereabouts and didnt spend valentines day with you . You should talk to him about it and tell him how his behaviour towards you has changed recently and how he was so perfect just some months back. See what he has to say , if he really is cheating on you and is with someone else all the time , I think he is bound to give you some sort of hint as to what he does. If he is indeed at home and oould not spend valentines with you ,he will sit down with you and explain everything to you . Hope this helps :)
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
yes i believe on that instinct and indeed it was happen to me. Same signs and i couldnt beleive it and it really hurt me so much. I think you have to talk to him at least it will not worsen the pain. confront him and ask him why he change maybe their something wrong with the relationship that has not going well. Prepared yourself for the pain you have to be strong whatever truth you will hear or discover.
1 person likes this
@babyjane (1390)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
You are right, girl. Women have the instinct if their partner is cheating on them. You know what, valentines day is a special day and your partner knows it too for sure. Maybe there is something wrong happens with him. Try to reach him or maybe make the first move of breaking up and explain to him that maybe you both need a space. If he agree with you that maybe both of you need space then trust your instinct but if he holds you up to stay then begin talking with the problems. There is nothing wrong to share your worries or your concern to him. Don't force him to love you back 'coz it hard and you might get hurt. Better to confront him of what's going on with your relationship. Whatever happens, accept it.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (32111)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
I guess its time to have some reality check on him. As you've said recently he changed his ways. Its time that you have a heart to heart talk maybe you two could explain what you're feelings with each other. If your doubts was found to be true. I would ask you if you would still love a peson that love another one? I guess its time to end it when that is realized. There's no point continuing.
@carol79 (201)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
The best way is just to be honest. Speak with him and ask him how he feels about you, get to the bottom of it and let him know as well that you were badly hurt of the things thats happening between the 2 of you. If you found out that he is indeed cheating you or he does not love you anymore then go on with your life and just accept it. Think of it as its his lost not yours. You cant do anything anymore if the love is not there. Maybe it was not meant to be and your better off with someone better than him.
@melody1011 (1663)
• India
19 Feb 07
Sometimes, when your partner wants to go free, if you love him you will let him go. You cannot always get his love especially when he is not interested in giving it to you. It seems to me he either has lots of problems and he does not want to confide in you or he is a coward and has not guts to tell you he no longer wants to see you. DO you know any friends of his or any family members? Without telling them why you want to see him, you could get them to set up a meeting for the two of you. And when you do meet ask him directly if he wants to continue seeing you. If not, let him go. If he does wnat to see you good for you. But i guess if you do feel something is wrong, it generally is.
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
I feel same thing sometimes to my bf too. But I just let him do what he wants and I never changed what I used to do or feel towards him. Then he will appreciate and do nice things to me. Everytime I ask him about cheating he will just answer " do you trust me or what? " so that's just it I just trust him and so far were going strong. In your case, are you being tight to him lately? cause you know boys don't want their gf to be tight or just too jealous. Sometimes they want to do things on their own and then they will just realize that they love you. Just give him time but if still it won't work then you may need to talk things out and ask him what he really likes. I hope I've helped a little. :)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
Talk! Talk! Talk! My dear. You should talk to each other, if he has no time, then make an adjustment on you. Ask him of what you are now thinking. He should know it also that you are not happy of what things are doing now. If you will not talk to him, your mind will exploded thinking or speculate everything. With a 3 year together, this is a serious matter. It is normal my dear that you will not know him a lot even with that long years together. Talk to him seriously.
@casper65 (38)
• United States
17 Feb 07
The problem here is lack of communication & when we dont talk one starts to think a lot.You have said that he is a very understanding & ideal person.Then for a sudden change you must talk & find out. I am sure you dont want to label him & be suspicious right away.Is he not feeling free to express his thoughts to you!! just find out.I am sure Valentines day is special but it is not the dooms day .You can defintely look in to the causes.
@sucess (49)
• India
17 Feb 07
I dnt think that your man is cheating you bcoz when we love somebody we are so overconcerned about him/her that even minor negligence of them hurts us a lot.So dnt be impatient give him some time try to know if he is facing any problems and your love will be back soon.
• India
17 Feb 07
i will help u .happy valentine;s day. i love u