What if your partner or spouse became a paralytic?
February 16, 2007 9:43am CST
I have a friend who is unable to walk and is relying on a wheelchair due to a car accident. He is only 27 years old and had a high-paying job prior to the accident, and he was engaged to a pretty and intelligent girl. Maybe because of self-pity or depression, he told the girl to just forget him and find someone else. At first the girl was very supportive and affirmed her love for my friend. But after a few months, her visits and calls became rare until my friend found out that she is already dating another guy. My friend was devastated, but I told him that it was he who told the girl to find someone else. It turned out that he did not mean it and he still loves her and couldn't accept the fact that she has deserted him for a new guy. When I talked to the girl, she told me she still loves my friend but she has to think of her own happiness and her future. If you were the girl, would you leave him even if you love him so much? I know there are many implications if you marry someone with a disability.
• United States
16 Feb 07
This indeed is a hard one. The fact that they are so young makes it difficult to find fault with your friends. you might find the girlfriend cold and uncaring, but if you look at it from her point, the question then becomes what she wants from life. I think in the long run she did the right thing. If she had gone ahead and married your friend they both might have been doomed to a life of unhappiness. When we love someone we are suppose to wish for that persons happiness and contentment above all else. That is the most unselfish thing to offer. But its not human nature to be that unselfish. We want to hold close what we love the most, and if we can not hold it we do not want anyone else to hold it. Now having been married 26 years if something were to happen to my beloved husband of course I could never leave him, but we have lived our lives to the fullest and could easily accept the others disablity. I am not sure if we were that young again I could say the same for either of us. I know it's hard but try not to be to harsh on the young lady.