What is the hardest decision you have ever had to make?

United States
February 16, 2007 1:38pm CST
Every day we are faced with decisions, some are small, such as what to eat for breakfast, what to wear to work/school, while some are larger, what career to choose, who to marry, when to have children. But in every one's life, at some point or another there has been a decision that you have had to make, one that took a lot of thinking, and was just outright difficult to make. What was yours? And how did you choose? What were the results? Here is mine... (short version) When I was 18 years old, I lived away from home, by myself in a different state. At the time I was dating a guy who I thought really loved me... and then I got pregnant. He was a real jerk, to put it bluntly, and was cheating and abusive. I had always said that I would never raise a child without a father, would do whatever it took to make sure that he was a part of my child's life. And yet at 6 months pregnant, I had had enough. After being homeless for 3 months, being abused and cheated on, I finally made the decision to move home. I called my mom, and she drove 16 hours to pick me up. That was my decision, to become a single mother, to do what I had always sworn I would never do. The outcome? Three days after I returned home, I miscarried. Looking back, would I have made the same decision? I guess if I could be guaranteed not to lose my child, no, I would not have made the same decision at that time. Does that mean that I am not happy where I am? No. I am now happily married to a wonderful man, and although I can never have children of my own, I am blessed with stepchildren and a loving family!
9 people like this
40 responses
@ESKARENA1 (18296)
16 Feb 07
oh my friend thank you for sharing that with us all. My big decision is nothing so dramatic. I left school at 16 with no qualifications (i am dyslexic, but in the 1970s in the north of england, that meant stupid) and started work as a shop assistant. During the ten years i was working eight hours a day six days a week, i was at college taking high school certificates. Then at 26 years old i decided to jack my job in, leave my home and family and move 400 miles away to go to university. Well, I did it and never regreted it, not for one moment
3 people like this
• United States
20 Feb 07
I am sure that was a hard decision to make! Moving yourself and leaving your family is never easy!!! Glad to hear that you are happy with your decision! And thanks for responding.
• United States
16 Feb 07
I am so glad you shared your story, mine is similiar, as my high school bf was a so nice looking, but mentally and physically abusive. he wanted to to have kids but something in my mind said no. He was irresponsible and dishonest more often that not. I finally made a decision to leave him and actually move into another city for awhile to get over the pain. While there,I met my husband. I was 18,he 25,and we have been together 19 almost 20 years, While I was only able to have one child, I do have a stepdaughter that I love very much as if she was my own. Kudos to you!~ *hugs*
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thanks for your response. Sometimes it is hard to leave an abusive situation, harder than people realize! Glad to hear that you made it out and are now happy!
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
17 Feb 07
i think that deciding to get married and have the baby i was pregnant with was the hardest, and there are many hard decisions everyday to make-so thats a tough thing to answer
2 people like this
@patgalca (16696)
• Orangeville, Ontario
17 Feb 07
You are correct that we have tough decisions to make every day. And all decisions affect our future though we will not know how, and may never know that a certain decision affected how we ended up where we did. Every path leads somewhere.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Getting married is always a hard decision. And you are right, life is full of hard decisions. Thank you for responding.
• Australia
16 Feb 07
The hardest decisoin ive ever had to make was whether to stay with my partner when he got sent to jail or to walk away. Everyone thought that for me to walk away would be harder, as i love him very much, but staying with him and driving for 3 hours to see him in jail was horrible, it killed me everytime i left. I'd sit in the carpark in my car, the car he gave me, and cry. I could never say goodbye to him on the phone when he called, and facing life everyday without him, and dealing with the little things hurt alot.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
17 Feb 07
oh. i am touched with your story. it's a difficult situation to be in. but as always, love keeps us going. love makes us hold on. it hurts but the nice thing is you still get each other to love and to hold.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Feb 07
That would be hard. I don't know that I could stay with someone like that, just waiting. I guess if it were a short time, then probably, but not if it were years and years. You are very courageous.
• United States
16 Feb 07
The toughest descision I have made that I can think of is planning what job would be more enjoyable for me. This applies to any job choice I get. Sometimes I start a job and then I regret getting it. But then I think ould I have been happier in another position or would I more miserable.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Well, changing jobs and careers is hard; period. It is the choice of leaving security that makes it so hard. Just think really hard, and make the decision with the full intent of making the best of it! Good luck to you always!
@nowment (1758)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Hardest decision would be love or money. To move in with a man who loved me and I loved, or to marry a man who had money and felt that I should get any and everything I wanted and always get my own way, be pampered, spoiled etc. I choose love. Would I make that same choice today, so far yes. money it tight, things get tense, as they do in every relationship, but I suppose I am glad a didn't choose to become the selfish witch I would have been if I choose differently. Who knows perhaps I would have come to love the guy with the money I did care about him, but would I make a different choice? The choices I have made make me who I am, they are part of me, it might be interesting to see what differences would be in my life if I had made different choices then or most definitely earlier in life, but I am not sure they would have been true to myself.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thanks for responding. I would probably say that I would have chosen the same... every one wants to be pampered and spoiled, but money doesn't create love, and love is sooo important.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
17 Feb 07
i had been in an 8 year relationship before with an ex who is much of a cheater and a liar. he never abused me physicall but abused me emotionally and mentally. and after eight long years of hoping he might changed, i gave up and broke up the relationship since i know i will keep myself hurting if i don't. it was difficult at first but later on, i realized i did the right thing. now, i will soon live my family behind in the philippines to move to a country where i can be with the man i love. yes. i am now in a relationship for 10 months with someone who lives and works in sweden. i love him so much and i am willing to go to his country to be with him. it's a great decision to make but i haven't been having much hard time in making the decision since my family members approved of him when they met him last year and that everyone's happy for the decision i made. and i am excited to be with him for the rest of my life.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
17 Feb 07
as i may add, i feel sorry for what you have gone through in your past. but still, i am happy that you have finally moved on and that you are happy with the man you love.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thank you! ;) Glad to hear that you are finally happy as well. Leaving home will be hard, but good luck to you! Thank you for your response.
@muye82 (26)
• Nigeria
17 Feb 07
i was made to make a decision between my lover and my friend.it happened that my very good friend was sleeping with my lover.the two of they were very close to my heart and i was going to make a decision of living with both of they and having it in mind that there were both sleeping with each other or having to forget about themand start a new life
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Sorry to hear that. Never a good situation. Thanks for responding. By the way... what did you choose?
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
My hardest that i have made in my life it is when i decide to marry my husband now. I found its hard even i know that i love my husband but still my mind is not yet sure of about my security to him coz ever since i know him he never had his self planning the better future even just for his self and not for others. I am double minded to accept his marriage proposal to me becuase of his destiny in life but still my heart belongs to him..that is it i feel very hard in making some decision about that..But I have now my decision, i marry him but i donk know if it is the right one.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
I guess you can never be 100% sure when you make any decision, but it sounds like you have a LOT of doubts. I don't think I would choose anything if I felt that way, but would wait until I felt at least more sure. Good luck to you, I hope you make a wise decision. Thanks for responding.
• India
17 Feb 07
MY hardest decesion was to which college i shoul join in after my schoolin is over,We r a middle class family which does not have much choices to make but my dad mom have very plans for me so I could not live up to their expectations anyway but i got a decent rabk in the competetive exams held for entrance into engg. college so finally after consulting many many people I landed up in Karunya wer I am presently dion my engg. in CSE
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Education choices can be difficult, especially if you stand alone in making them. Hopefully you will eventually find someone who will support you! Good luck to you and thanks for responding.
• United States
17 Feb 07
I have hard decision every episode of my life. My current hardest decision, it is about what to if I should try to continue education under financial difficulties or save money for sister long term medication and parents living expenses at their advance age. Note,The job I'm holding is taking underpay me and refuse to fulfill contract.... I have no other income...
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
that is a hard one. You just have to look at the long run. Good luck to you. Thanks for responding.
@cr1st1nel (3566)
• Romania
17 Feb 07
Well in the life you have to make a lot of decisions and not all of the are the best and the easiest to take. I can't tell for sure which is the hardest i did but i can say that a hard one which i remember was the break up with my girlfiend.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Breaking up is always a hard decision, just remember there is always someone else out there who will love you if you give them the chance. Thanks for responding. The best of luck to you!
@heartie (59)
• United States
17 Feb 07
Hi frioend thank u fr sharing this story with us..... For me...i like both teacher & enginnering proffession..i had a aver hard decision to make....at lat i made up my mind for enginnering...
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thank you for responding. Hope you like your decision to continue with engineering. Good luck to you.
@shila07 (514)
• Bhutan
17 Feb 07
Its quite a sad story and you have faced problems. Its very sad to hear this. Iam so sorry for you. BUt in other hand, iam happy to know that you are happily married to some one who is loving. ITs great. Iam happy now as a woman, i can undertand womean's problem. Best wishes. As you said,the hardest decision i have made is to marry, to unknown man. As you said, i might have faced such problems in my lofe too, But now i feel i have made the right decision to marry him because, he is most,loving, caring and hardworking husband.
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thank you for responding. I can't imagine marrying someone that I don't know... that takes strength! Good luck to you and thanks for responding.
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
17 Feb 07
The hardest decision I had to make was the time i had to leave my dying brother in the hospital to retunr home to Oregon. I went to vegas where he lived (he no longer had a house because he didnt pay his rent) and I had no place to stay. I was in the hospital 24 hours a day. I had a broken foot. The doctors told me they could do nothing for my brother and he could die in a day or a month. I had very little money. So couldnt eat much. I didnt know anyone there. I wanted to stay with my brother but eventually my hunger and lack of sleep got the best of me. I said my good bye to him , I cried . He was in a coma but I saw a tear run down his cheek. It was the sadest day of my life. I returned home and a day later, my brother came to me in a dream and told me, he loved me and he understood why I had to leave. He told me not to blame myself. An hour later i got a call from the doctors that he had passed away. I stil regret not beig able to hang on for another day. I try hard to not let it get to me but sometimes it does. Congrats to you on your new life :)
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
It is so hard when we don't get to say our proper goodbyes! And though you may regret the time you didn't have, remember the times you did have! Thanks for responding and the best of luck to you always.
@shadifd (148)
• Syria
17 Feb 07
The hardest decisoin i have ever had to make was how i can earn extra money with a complex system,sush as forex.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thanks for your response.
@cruzades (660)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
The hardest decision I've ever made so far is when I resigned from work with few buck in my hand, I resigned for a shallow reason of a small arguments with my immediate supervisor, considering I'm married and with 1 child at that moment I don't know how am I going to raise them with few my few bucks. But luckily, my wife's family is into a business industry, they help us together with my family to build a small business and until now they are still very supportive to us. No regrets anymore. ^^
• United States
20 Feb 07
Quitting a job is always hard. But sometimes there are reasons for what you do, before you ever know it. Hopefully you will see the reason soon. Thanks for responding and good luck to you always.
@Grandmaof2 (7602)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
I'm not the most religious person you have ever met but I can't help but think this was Gods way to save a very good person YOU. I'm happy you're doing well now. God Bless Honey. It takes a special person to be a stepmom as well. Most women can have children but no just anyone can be a mother. And to be able to fit in as a stepmom, I salute you. Take Care fieryeyedwriter !!!
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thank you for your response. Some times people don't see things the way that you do, which makes it all that much harder. I try hard to believe that God had a reason for this!
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
the hardest decision i made was when i got married to my husband without my parents knowing it. it was a tough decision because i was used to telling everything to my parents, especially my mom. it was only during that time that i had to keep a secret from them. though my husband and my parents had a good relationship and they dont have anything against each other, we decided to have an earlier wedding date. i don't regret ever doing that because i am happy with my husband now than ever. and they still have an harmonious relationship. they consider my husband as their own son now.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Sometimes we have to make decisions that others would not understand. Decisions that are for us, and us alone. Glad to hear that things worked out for you. Thanks for responding and good luck to you always!
@apple20 (39)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
me my hardest decision is living with my husband without the knowledge of my parents. after our civil wedding. we decided to live on our own but on what my parents know is that im just working at laguna that's why i can't able to went home everyday. but im happy it just that it's very hard to adjust on my new life now
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thanks for responding. It is hard to adjust to a new life, but if everything is going good, it will get better with time. If you love your husband, then hang on!