Dictionary for women -Just for Gags
February 16, 2007 11:33pm CST
Aaaack (aak) interj. An utterance upon running directly into a spider web first thing in the morning - and you don't know where the spider is. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire." Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but *he* "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a basketball game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers". Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
8 people like this
21 Feb 07
Snce past fourteen years my hubby is telling me he makes excellent chicken curry and every time I ask him to make one he says okay cut this wash that and I end up making it so I really had a laugh with barbeque one. I still have to taste that chicken curry thats being cooked for so long, lol
17 Feb 07
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city one evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back alley. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and beaten," he pleaded. The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague, "You know, the person who did this really needs help."