Dictionary for women -Just for Gags

@mansha (6301)
India
February 16, 2007 11:33pm CST
Aaaack (aak) interj. An utterance upon running directly into a spider web first thing in the morning - and you don't know where the spider is. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire." Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but *he* "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a basketball game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers". Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
8 people like this
13 responses
@yanjiaren (9050)
20 Feb 07
this was clever..where did you dig this up from? it isn so true..alot of these sayings are just jokes but there is a lot of truth in them..thanks..keep them coming lol..
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
21 Feb 07
Snce past fourteen years my hubby is telling me he makes excellent chicken curry and every time I ask him to make one he says okay cut this wash that and I end up making it so I really had a laugh with barbeque one. I still have to taste that chicken curry thats being cooked for so long, lol
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
18 Feb 07
I like these I love the one about a diet soda and a pack of m&m's these are really funny.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
21 Feb 07
I liked the barbeque one too, its so true.
@pinklilly (3445)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
hehehehe. That was great I liked that cool. I would like to see a male one that would be good....
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
19 Feb 07
I sure am going to work on that one -but don't want to give out our secrets lol.
@lifeiseasy (2292)
• United States
17 Feb 07
well dang I am bumming ...lol I thought that you had actually found a dictionary for women ...that is a great idea ...the joke was cool ... my favorite was about the hardware store thats so true ...lol
@mansha (6301)
• India
21 Feb 07
I loved that one too. Its really funny thats why I shared it.
@fabwisp (1328)
17 Feb 07
LOL. I love coming to this section in mylot. I always have a good laugh. And once again I wasn't dissappointed!
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
21 Feb 07
Glad to be of service
@hobohobo (681)
• Indonesia
17 Feb 07
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city one evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back alley. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and beaten," he pleaded. The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague, "You know, the person who did this really needs help."
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
19 Feb 07
you just hammered the nail-lol its a three pointer. very true about the social workers .
@lilaclady (28236)
• Australia
17 Feb 07
That is very interesting, now you should do a dictionary for men, that really would be interesting and a challenge for you...:)
@mansha (6301)
• India
17 Feb 07
okay point taken and would try for that too.
@imsilver (1667)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
oh my... those are great! I love the definition of airhead. I hate to admit it but I do the same thing when pulled over :)
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
17 Feb 07
thanks if you liked it, I liked the blond jokes one too.
@ondo1015 (1884)
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
A joke dictionary for women only but we read it offended, but any way it's only a joke, it is relaxing sentnce in a site like this looking for earnings and trying to get more.
1 person likes this
@moonmagick (1458)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I like this one too. LOL
1 person likes this
@resasour (378)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Ok, I like this one. It was cute! And I think part of it might even be true! lol Now where is the one for men? I think they deserve equal billing.
• China
18 Feb 07
that is good.I like this is Article
@Aloeli (398)
• Portugal
18 Feb 07
very funny dictionary