Stay at Home Moms or Dads after Having a Career

United States
February 17, 2007 11:33am CST
So I have recently become a stay at home mom, but not by choice. My position at work was cut and as of Monday I am now a stay at home mom. For those of you who held full time careers before becoming a stay at home mom or dad, how do you deal with the transition from the adult world to staying with the kids. I'm not sure how I will handle giving up my adult time with co-workers. Any advice would be helpful.
2 people like this
4 responses
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
17 Feb 07
Don't forget you are going to need balance. Time for yourself and time alone with your spouse. Being an at home parent is no different than if you stayed at work all day and night. You need a break or you will be the one breaking up. As much as being an at home mom is gratifing it can also drive you bonkers. If you balance it all you should be fine and happy and make sure you still keep your friends they will be a large help to you. Good luck and welcome to mylot.
• United States
17 Feb 07
Thanks for the welcome. We are getting a date night and a weekend alone tonight and tomorrow before he starts working overtime. I feel bad that he will be working so much to make up for my income loss. I've been told to take my time and find something I want to do or I can stay home for awhile and see how it goes. I just can't stop feeling bad that he will be working so hard and won't see me and the kids much during the week.
• United States
18 Feb 07
It's always hard at first but it does get easier and you will learn how to cut back on things and save some money so he doesn't have to work so hard. Just hang in there you are doing the best that you can. Just take it one day at a time. Always remember that sometimes he will be as tired as you but will feel like he is the only one busting his butt. Just let it go he won't mean it.
@cjthedog64 (1552)
• United States
17 Feb 07
Welcome to being a SAHM! I'm in the same boat. I'd recommend keeping your kids on a good schedule, and making time to get out and be around other people too. How old are your kids? Mine is 14 months, so we make trips to the library and different stores to get out and let me see other adults. We also make it a point to visit with family and friends for the social experience.
• United States
17 Feb 07
Mine are 3 1/2 and 6 months. I can't wait until the snow stops so we can go out around town. Spring can't come fast enough. My daughter loves the library and would stall all day if allowed. I'm definately going to have to find some people to visit during the day. We will be home alone without daddy from 7:00 a.m to 8:30 at night for awhile since he will be working overtime at least 3 days a week. I'm not looking forward to that. Hopefully I can fine a little supplemental income to help.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
17 Feb 07
If you have the money to still send the kids to daycare, do it. This way you have uninterrupted time online and you can find some online work. After a while you might cut their time at daycare, but I think it is important to have them away for at least part of the daylight/normal working hours. When you cut their time at daycare, do it by picking them up eralier, not taking them later. Make sure you are stict with your rules. figure out what you can anc can't tolerate and create the atmosphere you need now, it is better to start out very strict so that as you loosen up, the behaviours are accessible. If you start out all lovey dovey it will be too difficult to get stricter later.
• United States
17 Feb 07
That's the problem for now. Daycare has to be cut due to the loss of my income. Its going to be me and the kids all day (ages 3 1/2 and 6 months) so not much time for myself. My husband is going to work overtime to compensate so we won't see him much. I refuse to let him work on his days off so at least we get 2 days a week as a family.
@Shelite (212)
• Canada
17 Feb 07
Well some things that I can advise you to do is make time for you and the children. If you have small children at home then try to find some parenting groups in your area and have a kids day out or have some at home play sessions. You need that interaction with adults...if not you might just go stir crazy. I know I would. And if you have school age children take the time they're in school to shop or just go out with friends. Just remember you can do this and if you need to take a mommy time out when things get overwhelming! Good luck!