Your teenage daughter is pregnant. How much do you help?

United States
February 19, 2007 7:43pm CST
Lets say that your teenage (say 16 or 17) daughter is pregnant. How willing to help are you? Do you pay her doctors bills? Do you help when it is born? How far are you willing to go to help?And When do you draw the line?
2 people like this
11 responses
• United States
20 Feb 07
If I had a pregnant teenage daughter, I will exhaust all means to help her. She deserves the care, attention, and support I will give her even beyond her pregnancy because she's my daughter and she's carrying another life inside her. I shall be shouldering her doctor's bills and hospital bills, I shall be there when she delivers her baby, I shall be taking care of her and the baby, and I will allow her to stay in my house for as long as she wants while the baby is growing up. For me, it is important to know that she is wanted. I want her to see how a mother would go through the lengths for her daughter -- a good example of a mother that she should also become for her baby.
1 person likes this
@Stringbean (1273)
• United States
20 Feb 07
A teenager is still her parent's responsibilty. I would try to be very supportive during the pregnancy and birth. Then, since we are not in a position to adopt a child at our age, I would help her find an adoptive home for the child. I do not believe a single teenage girl, no matter how mature should try to raise a baby by herself. Even if she has many family members willing to help. A child needs a chance, whenever possible, to be in a two parent home. There are many good Christian couples who are unable to conceive, who would provide a wonderful home for your pregnant daughter's child. Your teenager, who is still a child herself, needs to be helped to get through this experience, learn from it, and go on to make the best possible life for herself. A little research will show that most single teen mothers end up without finishing their schooling, often settling for a husband who also has little education, and spend the rest of her life struggling to make ends meet on a salary from a low income job.
1 person likes this
@stailgate (2363)
• United States
20 Feb 07
When I just turned 17 i became pregnant and my mom pretty much turned her back on me, and I felt so alone. I had the father with me, and his family was so supportive and if it was not for them, I would have never made it. She is much better now, and helps me out. I would never do this to my kids. i have a daughter, and if she ever went into this, I would be this for her every step of the way. I would help to pay her bills, support the baby, and to get threw life. I would help her as long as she was trying to help herself, and that is where I would draw the line.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 07
I don't have a daughter yet, but if I did and was in that situation, I would be there for her 100%, after all that would be my grandchild- yes, I would help with expenses and care for the new baby. However, the dad would be helping also, otherwise I would let my daughter know that she needs to get child support and tell her that if she wanted my help that all the child support money needs to go for the baby. If the babys daddy was unknown, then I guess that I would have a lot more money to be dishing out. I have been raised to stand by your family no matter what.
@crowfan (67)
• United States
21 Feb 07
if My teenage daughter got pregnant i would do what i could to keep her and the baby i wouldnt turn my back on my children my mom never turned her back on me and i was pregnant at 13 i was being stupid
@Mamaof4 (222)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
She is my daughter and I will help her. No matter what. I'd help her all the way, be with her every step of the way. There is no line to be drawn. She is my flesh and blood and the child she carries is also of my flesh and blood.
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
i dont have a daughter yet.but my aunt,is experiencing that kind of situation.He got a son who is 16 and his gf got pregnant.My aunt is the one who pays for everything when her daughter in law labor the baby and its a cesarian labor.
@cherhost (1073)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I would have to say that part of that would be my fault for not being in touch with her life. There is a fine line of helping. I would do my best to support her and my grandbaby. Of course that baby would not go without. She would have to have a job of some sort to pay bills. I would also get after the dad too. I would draw the line when it was being taken advantage of but I would never kick her out on the street with a baby.
• United States
20 Feb 07
This is a difficult question, because both sides (help and not help) seem right in different ways. I suppose that I would have to base it on my daughter, really. If we didn't have a good relationship, then I probably would only offer minimal assistance. Whereas if she and I were close, had respect for one another and I felt she was not going to take my help for granted; I would do as much as was appropriate. So much of it would depend on the person. If my daughter was lazy, unmotivated and careless...I would likely try to help more in the realm of MATURITY than baby care. Help her find an apartment, a job etc. But, lets say my daughter is a healthy, well rounded young woman. If that were the case, I would do my very best to ensure she and my grandchild had the medical care they deserve, a place to live, emotional and physical support and plenty of LOVE.
@jillbeth (2710)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Until she is of legal age, you are probably financially responsible for her medical expenses. We have been in this situation. We had to pay the part that insurance didn't cover. Our daughter lived with us while the baby was still an infant, and she was expected to do the major part of the baby's care. I babysat when she had to go to work. We made her understand that this baby was her responsibility, not ours. She was a good mother and we didn't have too many problems, in fact, when she moved out after a few months I really missed my granddaughter! Sometimes babies come under unfortunate circumstances, but they truly are a blessing to the family. If she had been a poor mother, I would have taken care of the baby, because she was my granddaughter and I loved her.
@mememama (3077)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I would help out with the doctors bills, babysitting, etc. If she wanted to have her child adopted, I would support her and get her counseling to help sort through her feelings. If she kept the child, I would try to get her to complete highschool and perhaps some training for something or college. Hopefully we would have a relationship where she would be open about being pregnant and needing help so she wouldn't get an abortion, that would hurt me!