Leaving Home

It was assumed that my sons would be living on their own by the time they were at least 20. That is how I explained the life cycle to them...go to school, graduate at 18, get your own place. They had jobs before they graduated but rent wasn't charged. They had been doing their own laundry since they were 13, and they could cook. My parents grew up in the south and, being black people, the world was a dangerous place. For me, living with THEM was a greater danger. They had it in their minds that I would be staying under their roof until I married. Of course that didn't happen. I was gone just before I turned 18.

I lived in my parents house until I was 21. They didn't tell me to leave but I moved in with my boyfriend. Later when my boyfriend and I got engaged and started going back to church, I moved in with his dad and step mom. I loved living there. A few years later we moved from California to Georgia and lived with his mom and step dad for a few months until we bought a house. His mom still tells us we can move back anytime we want. We think that we are going to let our children live with us until they get married. Well unless they get to old. I love having family around.

I left home when I graduated high school. At the time, I wasn't getting along with my mother and I thought it was best to be in a different home before we hated each other anymore! We are now working on rebuilding our relationship. For my son, if he goes to college or to some kind of training school, I'll let him live at home rent free. This would make it easier for him to focus on his studies, versus working at a job and worrying about money like I had to do when I was in college. If he wants to work and live at home after high school, I will expect him to pay some of the bills. Many of the people that I grew up with or were friends with before I got married are still living at home, I am just floored by this since we're all almost 30! They all work minimum wage jobs and spend their money at the bar or shopping, this is just ridiculous to me, people need to grow up and I believe their parents are enabling their lifestyle by letting them live at home without any responsiblity.