being possessive in a relationship is GOOD or NOT?

possesive girlfriend - being possessive is not good if it is too much..
@joy1982 (226)
Philippines
February 21, 2007 2:25am CST
sometimes im possessive because maybe i love the person. .what u think is it GOOD or NOT?
15 responses
@sugarbabe (114)
• Fiji
22 Feb 07
its quite typical that when you are in a relationship you tend to be possessive as you love that someone dearly. on the other hand being over-possessive can actually be harmful. am also possessive about my guy at times and he feels totally ok with it as he says it just goes to show how much i love him and vice-versa. so i feel that being possessive in a relationship is good but please don't over do it and as it can spoil things for you!
@joy1982 (226)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
yes its true.. because even my guy is possessive also but we all have limits.. thank you for your advise
@Tanya8 (1733)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
I tend to think being possesive is risky. It can give the the person you're in a relationship with the impression that you're insecure, and also that you don't trust them. I don't know if this depends on culture, but where I live, if two people spend every waking minute together and don't maintain some outside friendships and interests, the relationship is considered unhealthy.
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@joy1982 (226)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
yah..its risky.. it should have limits..
@sahira (1071)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
Being possessive it means you really love the person,i possessive too and they said it is not good because it is like being selfish,well,i don't think so.possessiveness means you really want to own the person totally.
@joy1982 (226)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
maybe being possesive means showing to them but u love them.. but i think too much not good
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
30 Mar 07
One of my ex partners was extremely possessive at first I thought it was great! But gradually as time went on, it got to be very very annoying and it was like being controlled and they were insecure. I hated it and it was what caused the relationship to end and on bad terms. It is now a pet hate of mine, I am not an accessory I am a person.
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@samson1967 (7414)
• India
21 Feb 07
If the person you love, knows that you are possessive because of your love for him/her, then it is good. If he/she misunderstands it then it is disaster.
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@joy1982 (226)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
yahh,, because ive known someone that he likes his girl to be possesive but not that too much..because too much might cause break ups..
@twinkle76 (103)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
possessiveness should be on an average level. dont be too possessive or else you'll end up choking your partner, you'll impeding his growth as a person like socially.. but dont be too loose, else you'll find him in another;s arms. a person still has a need to feel needed, get waht i mean? so therefore, be in the middle.
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@joy1982 (226)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
yah.. thanks
@jan135 (535)
• Australia
21 Feb 07
In my lifetime I have seen many possessive people who have been in relationships and I didn't like what I saw. Being possesive is trying to own someone, it is not possible to own someone as we all have our own identity we all need our space and in the end what good does it do. It nearly always ends up that the relationship fails. It's no good in my eyes.
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@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Feb 07
not good at all..but i think it depend on every situation if there is really to be jealous of ..its quite normal..but plss dont over do it ..it may consume you all the way and become paranoid on that process...
@doncris (637)
• Romania
23 Feb 07
I don't think it's good because it gives the partner a feeling of suffocation and lack of space. If your partner gets those feeling, then you can bet that he/she will immediately try to evade, to get some space. You can't be possessive in a relationship, but you can be careful and watch out for jealousy.
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@chaime (1152)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
I think it really depends on how possesive you are. If you are possesive to the point of being mean then I think that's not good. If it hampers the life of your partner, I mean, if you get him to miss some appointments, or not go to work or something like that, then I think you should rethink your point of view. But if it's a once in a while whim or that you don't go overboard, then I think it's healthy for your relationship, that your partner will feel that you love him enough to want him by your side or something like that.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
When our possesiveness reach to its extremities then that is the time when that possesiveness becomes bad. For me, it is okay to be possessive to a certain limit. I think it is normal to possess someone especially if that someone has a bond to you. But again it should not be to the extent that it is over and can also cause harm to your relationship.
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@coolsid2007 (1030)
• India
22 Feb 07
It is good to an extent that its not disturbing or creating some problems for your partners normal behavior... i think every relationship needs some space and independence to breath and think and survive,,, i think its like 35-65 ratio for being possessive
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
All excess are not GOOD.. too much of something can destroy your personality... Yes, we're in the fact that you really love the person but it's not the reason that you would hold him tight and act like his your own and no one could ever take him away from you, isn't it too much?? Little of it is GOOD but too much is NOT..
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@dixtra (27)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 07
I really can't explain the possesive thing. Sometimes people may think you are possesive but on the other hand, you've been doing that because you care the person so much. It can be bad when the caring thing become too care. and its completely disaster
• Australia
21 Feb 07
yeah im a pretty possessive person. i am just so in love that no one else can have her...i think its a good thing if they understand but whom ever u are possessive of has to have space sometimes
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