Should I wait or not??

United States
February 21, 2007 8:33pm CST
There is this guy that I used to see and I did love him. He has been calling me again wanting us to be together. But,,, he lives in Texas andI live in Indiana. And I just seperated from my husband of 12 yrs. a few months ago. They both want me to wait for them. The one can just come see me anytime but, my husband is in jail and for awhile at that,Even in a different state.What to do??? I think me and my husband are completly over withcause all the bad stuff that has happened! But, I do still love him but,not in love with him. The guy in Texas I do care about him I always have but, it's been along time since we have seen eachother and alot has changed.Should I wait for either one of them or start over?
5 people like this
15 responses
@dbeamon (128)
• United States
22 Feb 07
personally after 12 yrs of marriage i would enjoy being single and tell them both that if they love you like they say they do then they will wait for you, and let you decide and try to get on with your life and your kids. if you have kids you need to think about how this decision will affect them. as for the guy from tx if he loves you then he will wait. im from tx and the guys here are pretty patient.lol as for the one in jail i would have to think real hard on that one. if he is in there now whats to say he wont go back. please be very careful on this decision. i will keep u in my prayers. if you want to talk add me to your friends list and ill respond.
3 people like this
• India
22 Feb 07
I suggest that you let him come over to you. and wait for some times.
• United States
22 Feb 07
Sow your Royal Oats, you have been in a 12 year relationship, that wasn't that great. Don't wait for another one, and if you want to in the mean time have fun meet some new guys and go partying with the girls.
2 people like this
@Chele2k2 (241)
22 Feb 07
I would wait until I know in my own mind how I really felt about either person before making any life long decisions. It sounds to me that you don't feel strongly enough about either guy to make a future with them. I feel in this situation, you are best to start a new life but only when you feel ready. I wish you lots of luck and happiness in your future :o)
@avs189 (1030)
• India
22 Feb 07
I guess u need to priortize...i mean its like u cannot loose both of them together...i mean u should decide urself who is more important to you ...the husband who had 12 yrs long relnship with you or the person who had just been around with you for past few months...u really need to take care of your priorities...personally u should give some time to your husband...since 12 yrs long relnship cannot be ended in just single moment...
2 people like this
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I would take it one day at the time.That's about all you can do.If you haven't seen the guy in Texas for that long....maybe meet up with him....see if he's the same guy that you remember.People change over time and sometimes we have a different memory of a person than what they are in reality.Enjoy your time alone....go out....see what's out there....make new friends.This is not something you should rush....but give it time and you will know what to do.I wish you all the best and good luck!!!
@rsa101 (22896)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Its okay to start knowing the guy again anyway your free as you've said you separated from your husband. I would presume its divorce. I would suggest that you let him come over your place and maybe see each other and see if it works. If it does not work then at least you've tried your best to know one another again.
2 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
i advice you to feel your heart. listen to what it says. if you need to have a long time to sort things out, its ok, atleast your sure on to whatever decision you have. love is different from ïn love. love is a universal feeling you feel to anyone you care of and loves you, being IN love is something that you feel for ONE person, a different love that is. also. constant togethernes is imporatnt is one's relationship just a like communication.
2 people like this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I think it would be best to start over..especially after 12 years of marriage. You need to take some time to yourself and have fun doing what you want to do and not have to worry about ANY guy. Then after awhile see if you want to be involved with either one of them. And if so see if they are still interested and if not move on with a new and exciting guy!!
2 people like this
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
The choice is yours!But you need to be sure that in every decision you have,you can stand for it!Your heart knows what is best and can make you happy!But take time for that!
1 person likes this
@noahark (21)
• China
23 Feb 07
i think you can't give up either one,and not fall in deeply love with both,just is like.but why you marry your husband? i think you know clearly.but first of all.don't hurt yourself.chooseing which you like best or start over,and your life is just for you.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11410)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Feb 07
well thats tough..but if i am in your shoes.....all you have to do is move on if anyome comes along then go ahead...waiting is good ..if theyre both deservning..or i mean one of them..
@tcpfinc (24)
• United States
22 Feb 07
have him come visit you and see if theres any sparks and see what happems
1 person likes this
@healer (1783)
• India
22 Feb 07
I don't know how your previous relationship with your husband was but i should say you follow your heart sometimes it hurts but if you have gone through that once than its ok to follow the heart. Many use brains and have an unhappy life but if you realy wanna be happy than follow your heart
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 07
I think you should..RUN!! RUN AS FAST AS YOUR LITTLE FEET CAN RUN!! I have read al your threads and your life has broke my heart..Your husband has no idea what a wonderful catch you are..and has taken advantage of you from day one..YOu have been threw mental,physical and verbal abuse..and i know you love your hubby..but he has done enough andu have went threw enough dont you think? Dont u breath better when your home knowing he wont be home to start anything? And as far as the other guy..from Texas.I would deff start talking to him, Just take it slow..dont be in a rush to be in another relationship..hun find yourself..do things you want to do..and have fun being free for the first time in 12 yrs..and take each day at a time..lol kinda like AA lol lol..i wish u the best of luck!!
1 person likes this