I just need some opinion.

Philippines
February 22, 2007 2:10am CST
I don't know if this is proper to post my problem here but I have no one to talk to and my mind and heart would like to burst. I hate my husband. I don't know if how we are going with our marriage. The problem with us is that he always go home at dawn or late at night because he plays in the internet. I don't know if it is really true that he plays there or he just go to another girl. But I don't have an evidence that he is seeing another girl. It is so tiring. I always talk to him and plead him to not overstay or limit his night life outside our house. I even warned him that I and my child would leave him but he just ignore everything. What should I do?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
22 Feb 07
This is MY opinion. And not meant to upset anyone... I think that it's best maybe for you to leave. If he doesn't care, what's the sense in being there in a loveless marriage, where you and your child aren't getting anything out of it but hurt? You can't go through life feeling pain, unloved, and uncared for.. you need to find your way, and it sounds like maybe your way is without him. There's lots of options. Do what you think is best hun. If your thinking about leaving, then go, because you shouldn't ever feel like you should leave. There's been times when i have felt unattractive, and even neglected by my husband, but the thing is, I've never wanted to leave. He treats me well, and when he's not working himself overboard, or really tired, I'm all good again, and well, then there's pms, the leading cause for my feeling unattractive... so i know it's not him. But this one is your husband, he's doing this to you, not for you, he seems to give you no love or attention, no affection, and i think you need to go on your own and find your own happiness, as well as showing your child the love and happiness that it deserves. Take care of yourself... There's options.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thank you very much for you advice. Yes, it seems that he does not love me. I want to leave but I am just worried for my child.
• Canada
2 Mar 07
If you feel that you have done everything that you can, and you want to leave hun, it'll all be all right, your child will understand in time, if not right away when your child see's that that is not how a family should run. don't worry, there's several avenues you can take. you'll make it, be strong hunni. You have lots of friends to talk to, if only on MyLot.
@ILANEDRI (1921)
• Israel
22 Feb 07
Don't ruin your mariage so quickly. It's easy to break up, it's hard to build. I'm sure that deep inside you, you love your husband, and you want him to stat. You just don't like his new hobbie. Talk to him about it, and you can also go to someone that can help you with your mariage. Don't give up on him. I'm sure that if he loves you, then he will change for you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks for your advice. I know I still loved him but I don't know about him. He sometimes say words of insults that I am not that sexy, caring or sweet to him. He says he hates to stay in our house.
• Canada
22 Feb 07
but Ilandri, as she said she's talked to him about it, and he doesn't seem to care... What more can she do?
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Your husband seems to be very immature and not ready for married life. Maybe you can try marriage counseling or something. If you're part of a church group you can ask someone he trusts to talk to him about it. You can also ask his friends or his family to talk to him. Before making a decision, pray for guidance and help. If all else fails, I don't see how you can live in one roof. He's very irresponsible, your kid may be better off without him.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Yes, he is really immature. But it seems that he purposely do it. Sometimes he said that he does not want to marry me. It's just that I got pregnant and her mother want him to take his responsibility. Maybe our marriage is wrong. I sometimes regret why we got married.
1 person likes this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Maybe you need counselling. If you're Catholic (I see you're from the Philippines), maybe the priest can help you. You need another person to intercede, one who is not biased. If you go to your family or friends, they will side with you. Same thing with his family or friends. You need a 3rd party to put some objectivity when you talk to each other, since you guys seem to have some communication problems already. I know your suspicions are driving you crazy. At the same time, maybe he sees you as a nagging wife. Without someone to intercede, you would quarrel again and again. I'm all for trying your best to save your marriage. You do not have proof that he is unfaithful, just your suspicions. You do not say that there he has any fault except for his penchant for staying out very late. It takes two to tango. I'm not saying any one of you is at fault. But there are 2 of you in this marriage, and if there are problems, there must have been a contribution from both parties. Good luck to both of you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thank you very much for your advice. Sometimes I ask him about our problem but he said it is not a problem at all why he is staying so late almost every night he just need to unwind. I don't know if he is open to the idea of talking it with other person. Actually I did talk to her mother about this and she said I need to understand his son. And he scoulded his son but he seems so untouch with all what her mother said and he keep on moving as if he is not listening.
1 person likes this
@sebab315 (108)
• Philippines
3 Mar 07
have you tried to talk it out with him? i mean really talk. if he's not bothered by his own behaviour and he seems to be doing it on purpose as what you've observed, then ask him if he wanted the relationship to end. i think he really wanted out of the relationship and he just doesnt want to make the first move...marriage is sacred but it's not marriage at all if there is no love.
• Philippines
15 Mar 07
Actually he said that he can't control himself from his games. Like he is an addict with the internet games. But he promise me to try his best to control his likings in that game. Hopefully he will really changed for the better.