Is An Unlocked Door An Invitation
@sunnypub (2128)
United States
February 22, 2007 10:40pm CST
Okay, my mother in law just drives me nuts. Whenever she comes over she pounds on the door, sometimes on the side of the house. She pounds a few times and if there is no answer, she goes around to the back and pounds on the back door. If there is no answer then she checks to see if the door is unlocked. If it is unlocked, she just comes in.
There have been times that I have been in the bathroom, which is why I didn't answer the door, and how I know. There are other times when I have just run to the store and left the backdoor unlocked because my sister didn't have a key and I wanted her to be able to get in. Then she actaully tells us that she came in.
We have told her time and time again that an unlocked door is not an invitation to come in, but she gets mad and argues. No matter what I do or say she just can't get it through her head that just because our door is unlokced, that doesn't mean she can come in whenever she wants.
She said that she doesn't understand why it is a big deal becasue my family enters whenever they want. First, my sister and neice live with me, so they are allowed to enter. And I told her that my parents or brothers would never enter the house without an actuall invitation to do so.
So what are your thoughts on this. Do you think that an unlocked door is an invitation to come in. Would you go to a strangers house and eneter just because the door is unlocked?
3 people like this
4 responses
@vkbllm (474)
• India
23 Feb 07
Hi Sunnypub,
Whats wrong with you? Is she not your relative too?
She is an old women so may be she some times argue
with you! But she loves you very much,hence she dont
even bother to your invite to enter in your house,
She thinks your self as her own and she is not like
your parents and brothers who seek invitation to enter
in the house of their son/brother! Well dont take her
wrong, she dont realy try to annoy you but you yourself
is just too annoyed! Forgive her, deal her with Love and
you will notice a diffrence! Or else just tell her never to come to you!, hence no more annoyance to you!
2 people like this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
23 Feb 07
There is nothing wrong with me. I expect respect from my friends and family and I don't think that is wrong. I respect the wishes of my firends and family, even her wishes, and expecting her to respect mine is not a bad thing.
I know you don't know everything about her, but know this, she has come into my house before and snooped through my personal things. She read my journal and went through my dresser drawers. That is not okay. I don't care who you are or how old you are, you should not go through other people's things.
Yes she is a realative by marriage, and I expect nothing of here that I don't expect from my blood relatives. I mean sure my sister and neice don't need an invitation but like I said, they live in the house. It is their home.
I have put up with my mother in law setting my husband up on a blind date while we were living together, and telling him that she would buy him his dream truck if he would dump me, and her digging through my garbage, and her calling my house 17 times in a day to complain that I am not a good mother, and so much more.
I don't think it is too much for her to respect my wishes. I do deal with her with love and more understanding than any of my friends would do.
Besides, regardless of any of that, it is just plain wrong to walk into someone elses house without an invitation. It is just morally wrong and illegal.
Thanks for responding.
3 people like this
@christieswebb (238)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I would give a key to your niece and sister and lock the door!
She has no right to just enter. It's your house and she needs to respect that. If she can't then tell her she is no longer allowed to come over if she can't knock and enter only when you say she can.
2 people like this
@lauriefnp (5111)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Your mother-in-law sure has a lot of nerve! I can't believe that she does this repeatedly and even argues with you about it! It's none of her business if you allow other people from your family to come and go, and for her to bring that up is childish. Again, that's none of her business anyways. I would give your sister and your niece a key and keep the door locked. I would also lock the door when I was in the house until she got the message. I know that you probably don't want to start a war with her, but she needs to be put in her place.
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Yea she sure does have nereve doens't she. She drives me nuts. I did give my sister and niece keys and I do now keep the doors locked even if I am at home. She tries the damn doorknobs every time and then when she finds it locked she just pounds loudly. I do ignore her at times but sometimes I just don't want to deal with her. Sometimes I don't want to be bothered at all and I ignore anyone who comes to the door.
She said I didn't treat her like family, and I told her I most certainly do. I expect my family to respect my wishes and my parents never enter without being asked. She just doens't know what she wants. She wants to be considered family but wants to be able to do as she pleases. Well it doens't work that way.
I have started many wars with her over the years, even going so far as kicking her out of my house once. She gets mad and we don't see or hear from her for about a month and then she is back like nothing happened. If she wasn't family I would have told her to get lost a long time ago.
Thanks for responding.
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
23 Feb 07
Yep, I think it is that simple too, but she just cna't get it through her head. She is a bit crazy, and I am being nice here. Thanks for responding.
