How do you rebuild trust that is lost?

@DRoddy77 (1776)
United States
October 14, 2006 11:53am CST
Once it is lost, how can u get it back? My husband and I separated a few months ago. We have always been very close, and then before he left we just started arguing all the time. I caught him talking to other girls online, but I dont think anything came out of it except flirty online chatting. I have no proof of him sleeping with anyone else. Through out all of this he has told me that he didnt think he wanted to be married and didnt love me anymore. Then about a month ago he decided he does still love me and wants to try to work things out. My biggest worry is that if we do get back together, will we be able to get that trust back? He has said and done things that I never in a million years thought he would do. He is really remorseful for the things he has said to me in the past, to the point where he has been in tears. I can say that I forgive him, but how can I forget?..and how can I learn to trust him again?
3 responses
@thaMARKER (2559)
• Philippines
13 Jul 09
That really hurts. I have never been cheated or haven’t been to a relationship that went sour because my partner cheated on me. I guess I’ll deal with it since in your case you’re already married and marriage is not something you can easily spit after you accepted it. You need to seek help if needed – counseling maybe. But if you think that’s too serious for you both, I guess a one-on-one conversation will do. Express it to him that you wanted a family, a peaceful, loving and healthy family. Loving someone would let you trust someone.
@brentjh (679)
• Namibia
2 Nov 06
It's a difficult situation, I would be carefull though - my heart goes out to you! Hope everything works out for you whatever you choose to do. Good luck.
@MrsFrizzle (1964)
• United States
24 Oct 06
It is hard. If you consider taking him back I would strongly suggest counsluing. It works. Plus it is a great way to get everything out there and start over again.