Tidy Your Room!

Oh my they are keeping you on your Toes there. Personally I would stop them bringing them out of their Rooms,if they do pretened to put them in the Bin, as for their room, have you tried turning it into a game even if you help a bit. As in show them how the Game goes. I do hope you have managed to get into the room by now.

You need to warn than that if they don't get the roomed cleanud up in so many minutes (you decide how long to ginve them) then you will take everything on the floor and they won't be able to play with it for a week. My daughter can't stand the though of losing any toys and she cleans up. If they don't then keep your word and bag everything up and put it away where they can't get to it.

Well your kids are old enough to try and help clean up the mess. I would tell them that you need help and you can all clean it up together...maybe you could offer them a treat..if they do it...or reversely..you could tell them if they don't clean up they will lose a toy...see if these methods work? Good luck.

If you pick them up...you keep them. Then they do chores for earning a toy back. If one picks up the others toys then they can have a dollar. There is no reason that they do not pick up their own toys. If they cannot then they don't need that many toys. Pen and paper would have to suffice. You don't send them back more than once maybe twice. Then you act and be consistent at it. You are doing them no favors by being total mommy with them. They have to become function adults at some time. A special needs child can learn with more patience. In my house a 7 year old makes his/her own bed. Just my thoughts, I hope you can find the solution soon.

When my childeren where smaller I used to use this trick. Have a chart and put their names on it. And put 7 days like Monday, Tuesday, Wensday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday on the chart. Then buy star stickers. Tell the kids if there room is all clean they get a star. Once they have 7 stars give them like 5 dollars that always helps motivate them. That's what I used to use to get my childeren to clean their rooms. So I thought I would share it with you to help you get your self back and not the mean you back.

I very truly feel for you, rainbow. I'm pretty much in the same boat with my 8yr. old daugher. She has a chore list on the fridge so she knows what to do every day to 'earn' her allowance but won't do them unless I repeatedly tell her. One is picking up her room. I've finally just told her one day that she doesn't do chores, no allowance and not to ask dad or I to buy her something cause she doesn't have any money. Still not doing chores and true to word, no allowance. Now, if I find anything in any of the other rooms that she didn't pick up and put in her room, it literally gets thrown outside. She wants it bad enough, she can go out and get it and put it away. If she don't go get it, it gets thrown/given away. She's slowly learning that if she wants to keep her stuff, she better pick it up or it's history. I'm waiting for her to leave her prized game boy out that I bought her for christmas. I know several kids who would love to have it. Maybe you can try something along the lines what I'm doing to my daughter to get them to pick up after themselves.

Well rainbow as you know I am a toughie and these were the rules when our son was growing up. Firstly it is his room, they are his toys and he is responsible for them. If he leaves them laying around where I have to pick them up, then they are mine to do with what I want. I was known to give them away to one of the local charities. Toys stay in bedrooms and if they are bought into any other room, then not taken back to bedroom after play time is over, they are mine. :) So the choice is yours, either keep cleaning up after them, for which no woman will ever thank you or they lose the toys. Now it might be that you only take some of them and hide the rest where they cannot find them. Maybe in a few weeks you can bring them back out but till then it is a case of "it's gone". If they continue to leave them out, then just keep taking the toys, which means that instead of playing they will be reading books. That won't hurt them either BUT to make sure the lesson gets home as early as possible, take the favourite toys if they are left lying around the place. That hurts more than anything. You aren't supposed to give up rainbow. You are the parent, you are in charge and what you say goes. LOL Also tell them that you will not clean up the room, because even the 3 year old can learn how to put his things away when he has finished with them. Make sure that all the relations know if you decide there are to be no more toys. It might sound tough, and to a certain extent it is but if you do not start this now, you will still be picking up after them in 20 years. LOL The other thing, just shut the bedroom door, so you don't have to see their mess and let them clean it up or live in the mess they have created themselves. Oh and at the same time as you are implementing this, get a weekly chart that you can use to "reward" them for doing things to help. But give them a minimal amount for each day, so if it is making their bed they get say 5 cents, but if they do it every day of the week then they get 50 cents. I used this for our son, and it had all the things that he had to do from homework, putting his clothes in the laundry, taking out rubbish, making bed etc. He soon realised the benefits of doing everything every day. Calculate the daily and weekly amount based on what you would spend on him or give him for pocket money. The other thing is that he can always use some of "his money" to buy back the toys that you have confiscated. Good luck rainbow, and start soon, because one day you will have daughters-in-law who will appreciate the training you gave the boys. :)

I need to tidy up my room it is a mess. I have been looking at it for 4 weeks now, and i can't lookit it like that any more. alot of clothes. I need more storage space. I want to move. so we can have more space.

Have you thought about the fact that jut maybe they have to many toys and get overwhelmed with so much to have to put up. You might try putting most of the toys in a storage place and not getting any more until Bong learns to put up what you have out. Get Bong two fair sized boxes and have him put his most favorite toys in them to keep out to play with. Then put the rest in the garage or attic or where ever you want to store them. Then when a new toy comes into the hoouse one has to go out. I really think that little kids get ovewrwhelmed with so many toys and when told to put them up they don't know where to start.

When my son was 6, I took him in the room with me, and we spent quite a while putting things away and putting them where HE knew they were. Then I made a chart and hung it in the kitchen, just with a clean and messy. Every night his room was to be all picked up and everything put back where it was supposed to go. If it was, he got a star on clean, if it was not, the star was on messy. If he had all stars at the end of the week, he was rewarded. He had a choice of doing something he wanted, (going skating, going to the park, renting a movie, going to McDonalds, going bowling), or he could have $2. Most of the time, he chose to do something. If he had a star in messy, he got nothing and had to give me a toy. I had a list of his favorite and it had to be one of them and I kept it for that week. If he had all stars, he got it back after that week, if he had messy, he had to give up another toy. He lost a toy here and there, but most of the time he remembered and did great. He wanted that reward at the end of the week. We still do that, but now my son is 13, and the items have definitely changed and the amount of money went up. It really works well. He likes going and doing things and knows he is better off to take that than the money. He figured out it costs more to let him do what he would like to.

The best advice I have ever received, was my son's kindergarten teacher's advice for my similar problem. I put his toys. Then I said that "you may not play with your toys today, you may not draw, you may not watch the tv." He realized that he should have valued his room, and his toy. But that day he might not do anything only looking at his books. In the kindergarten they put away the toys as soon as they finish playing with them, because they know that they may not play, if they do not do this.

I would take most of the toys out of the room. (maybe even all of them), tell them that their toys are a privelage and if they are unwilling to take care of them, they cannot have them. Then put them in your closet or somewhere where they don't have access. Let them have a couple of them, and once they begin to prove themselves with THOSE toys, allow them to have some more. Make them clean up their own toys, the seven year old is def. old enough and the three year old can help. You'll run yourself ragged trying to keep up wit the mess they can create, so let them clean it up, and maybe they'll think twice about making another mess! Good luck!

I have this problem too and when I cannot get my older child to help out and put her toys away then I make a big show out of throwing something away on her . She is only three and doesn't notice that what I throw away is something that is already broke and automatically jumps up to start putting her toys away because she believes I really will throw them all away . Since you child is older you could try the same thing but throw something away that he likes but that you don't care as much about or take it and tell him that if you have to pick it up then he cannot get it back til he earns it back and that he can only earn his stuff back by showing that he can pick up all his other toys for a certain length of time . If he doesn't catch on right away he will soon realize that all his toys are disappearing and he will soon try harder . It is just an idea that you might be able to try . Best of luck !!

I think you should tell them they obviously have too many toys because they are unable to keep them tidy. I would ask them to sort out which toys they dont want anymore. Once they have done this I would tell them they need to keep them tidy now. If they dont I would do the same again telling them they should only have the amount of toys they are able to keep tidy. If it is untidy then they cant cope with that many toys! Sounds a bit harsh I know but if they want thier toys they will soon keep them tidy.

Thanks for a superb topic. from all the replies it should have been titled "Welocme To Parentiong 101" HAHAHA. My 2 children are grown adults but I have 2 young grandsons that visit most weekends. I have most their tous in my hallway coat closet near the front door. They have learned that grandpa Bob says you take it out you put it back or a time out & the toy supply lessens. They also use the bedroom in the basement for their video games. they have learned that grandpa Bob says keep it clean or get a time out. Granted they do get a lot of time outs but they're getting a lot better at putting things away. Tyler the 7 year old knows his greatgrandpa whom I care for can't walk real well so he trys really hard to keep the toys from any & all walking paths he uses & he is starting to be better about keeping the toys where they belong. Now at their home....eeee gadddds. their rooms are a total MESS. And I thought I brought my daughter up right & she'd pass it on. But maybe she needs a time out also. HAHAHAHA. Thanks again for a great topic. Happy posting.

This is an ongoing battle at our house too. I try not to make idle threats such as "If you don't clean up the playroom I'm going to get a trash bag and throw away all the toys". Because I know (and my kids know) I will NEVER do that. What I do instead is ask them to go down and clean for 15 minutes. They make a little progress, whining the whole time. Then I eventually end up going down and doing it right. For some reason when I go down to do it, they want to help. I think they want to keep an eye on me, LOL.

My mom used to let it build up until even I couldnt get in then I had to clean it for my own sake... but from it sounds like that's already at that stage... Also when it got to that stage and I still hadn't cleaned it... she'd go in and clean it herself... and I say cleaned I mean she threw out my toys. I kid you not I always ended up crying over a lot of toys she had thrown out without my consent or anything... she apologized when she found out it was one of my favorite toys... but her usual response was "Well YOU should have cleaned it... Next time maybe you will so nothing will get thrown out." Let's just say up until my teens years my room stayed spotless for the most part.

I would tell them that you need help and you can all clean it up together

you know childrens are like that. When i was a child my mom advised me to be clean. well, show your children how to be neat.. you know me a role model to them. dont be mad at them and be patient in understanding them. Children are player in nature, they like to explore things and after they explored it they will just throw it away. So advised them and do not scold them :) being a mother, that is your responsibility.

I think you need to be firm with your kids... else when you get older, they would really be out of your hands. While being firm, explain to them the rationale behind what you want them to do. Treat them like adults and make them understand that they should show responsibility like good adults if they want the respect you are going to give them.