what do you do when your partner becomes less physically appealing to u?

@pelya178 (694)
United States
February 24, 2007 10:54pm CST
this is such a hard thing for me to write about. I don't want it to seem like i'm superficial at all. But let's be honest looks DO matter. Im not talking about DROP DEAD GORGEOUS looks. I just think its fair for people to keep up a nice physical appearance and maintain themselves and take care of the way they look.... and most importantly their weight. I've known my girlfriend for about 3 and a half years...for the first ....year or so we were just friends and for the rest of the time have been in a romantic relationship. We are a long distance couple...which is hard in itself. I admit we're both not perfect or gorgeous...we're just regular. But recently she's been telling me she's been putting on weight. the last time she told me this i said it didnt matter and i'd still love her no matter what she looked like...and i saw her and she really did over react. she was so tiny. she wasnt fat at all. so when she said it this time. i thought ok its nothing, n i reassured her again. but the other day she sent me "sexy" pictures of herself. and it was a complete and utter turnoff. i was really really turned off and somewhat disgusted. i don't know what to do. i dont want her to get any bigger...but at the same time i cant tell her shes fat. she already says shes fat and says shes gonna work out n eat better..of course she never does...and what if she never will??? she'll be visiting me in about 4 months. what if shes still that size? im afraid ill be disgusted and hurt her feelings and i wont be able to be intimate with her. what should i do?? has this happened to u b4? someone help :-(
1 person likes this
1 response
• Canada
25 Feb 07
Wow you are in a horrible situation but I would think that if you really love her then you would be able to see past what she looks like . If you can't then maybe you don't really love her and would be better off as friends . I don't really know what else to say . I hope I never encouter this myself and best of luck .
@pelya178 (694)
• United States
25 Feb 07
yea i really do love her. but its different to just see past looks when its something like this. i mean she's beautiful and i love her soooo much. its just im not attracted to the extra weight. i thought i could deal with it. maybe it was just those pictures that disgusted me so much :-( thanks so much for your feedback :-)
@pelya178 (694)
• United States
25 Feb 07
i guess what is also a factor is that im really slim. and so is my family and thats what im used to. sadly when anyone in my family gains weight we kinda make fun of them til they lose it. I've been skinny all my life and its not easy for me to gain excess weight like that. so i guess im thinking its easy to just lose it. i dunno :-( im so sad.
@pelya178 (694)
• United States
25 Feb 07
aw come on why isn't anyone replying? i bet my post is buried deep somewhere in this site. i looked for it and couldnt find it easily. i dont like the way mylot's design changed that way.