who do you forgive?

United States
February 25, 2007 11:32am CST
I know this person that slept with her sisters husband. And she forgave her sister but didn't forgive her husband. What would you do? Would you forgive either one of them? Could you still have a relationship with your sister? I don't thinkI could forgive either one of them and it would be hard for me to have any relationship with my sister if she did that to me. What do you think?
11 people like this
39 responses
• Bulgaria
25 Feb 07
I think I would not forgive to neither of them two. I would be very upset if this happens to me and I surely will quit anything with them. Thats one of the worst scenarios. I can not forgive someone cheating and especially with my sister. Im sorry but this is the way I think. Noone should forgive cheating. That way you only encourage cheaters to do it!
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 07
Well I don't think I could either, but this Person is wrong in forgiving her Sister but not her Husband. If she was going to forgive then she should forgive both. I guess it also depends if her Sister blamed it all on the Bloke I guess, that is what normally happens, but I always say it takes 2.
3 people like this
@prestocaro (1254)
• United States
25 Feb 07
when i was a child i can remember my mother telling me that no matter what happens, the people in your family are the only people who have to love you, and you have to love them. i always hated that speech because it usually came when i was getting disciplined for some sibling rivalry gone wrong, but for some people its true. blood is thicker than water. plus, you don't get to pick your sister, so you have to love her just the way she is, but you select a husband because you think he has all the great qualities of a man -- one of those being his trustworthiness. i can understand her decision, but i can also see your confusion -- i mean, they both violated her trust.
@Ellecee (102)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Wow, that's a hard one. I don't know that I could forgive either one of them either. I guess it would depend on the circumstances. I think it would be easier to forgive my sister, but I guess I wouldn't know unless I was in the situation.
3 people like this
@junior07 (973)
• India
26 Feb 07
i forgive both of them if she is my elder sis but if she is my younger sis then it's hard for me to forgive.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
why would it be harder for you younger sistere than for your older one??
@peddhie (110)
• Australia
26 Feb 07
I cant forgive both of them. That would hurt me so much. Both my loved ones and they stabbed me at my back and that's the worst thing I would see in my family. I don't think I would continue my relationship. I would divorce my husband if he does that and I wouldn't speak to my sister as well. I can't divorce my sister but I won't speak to her
2 people like this
@LiminaL (164)
• Italy
25 Feb 07
I would say none of the 2. I personally cannot stand into relationships which have been affected by serious faults and which caused me pain. Is not just a matter of punishing, but I would also be personally and deeply blocked towards this people ( a part from feeling serious anger etc... )
2 people like this
• United States
25 Feb 07
Wow! thats sooo bad on so many levels! And that a really hard question..I myseld dont trust men as far as i can spit lol..well most of them,,sorry guys..lol..and i know many men that are married and truley love there wives and would never leave them and yet they have affairs.There brains truley are in the pants lol..but if it was my sister,,i would probably not talk to her for many mths..but i would forgiver her..shes my only sister i have and i love her very much,,and depending on if this was his first time cheating..i prob would forgive him..but they would never be aloud to be alone again..but if he had cheated before he would be outta my house!!!
@jenalyn (675)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Both my sister and my husband are my best friends. I would be hurt and it would ruin my trust and the whole relationship altogether. I would forgive them both, but I would divorce my husband. If he could do that to me, then he isn't the husband I deserve. I wouldn't hate him, but I could not be in love with him no matter how much time passed, no matter the circumstances. My sister and I would never have the same relationship again either, but she is my sister so after time passed I know eventually we would be ok. I would definitely not have the same relationships with them anymore. I just could not see them the same way ever again. If they got together after that, I would have nothing to do with them. I just would cut all ties because I wouldn't want any part of their lives.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Feb 07
i could not forgive either of them. cheating is the ultimate betrayal. i could talk to them and see them occasionally, but i would not forgive them. everyone has different feelings on this...and everyone would give you a different answer.
2 people like this
• Italy
28 Feb 07
i would probably don't forgive the sister and the husband.. both were unfaithful to that woman...
1 person likes this
• Mexico
26 Feb 07
Love does not heal and/or recover everything. If any person cannot have enough self control to withhold themselves of animal behavior, they should be left on their own and face the consequences that come with that. It is the trust part that will never restore, which causes the love part to stay shattered.
• United States
26 Feb 07
I could not forgive either one. A sister is suppose to love you from cradle to grave and be there for you. If it had been another woman with no relationship to the cheating husbands wife, the the husband should have said no. In this case neither should be forgiven.
1 person likes this
@muharad (15)
• Malaysia
26 Feb 07
Non of them shouldn't be forgiven. In marriage, everyone should be honest. The act shouldn't be happen in the relationship.
1 person likes this
@abg1988 (340)
• India
26 Feb 07
i wont forgive any of them. but if she can forgive her sister, then why not her husband...
1 person likes this
@akash_ain (387)
• India
26 Feb 07
look it depend on man to man may b ur mentality is not same wit that person......
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 07
This did happen to me years ago with my first husband and I did divorce him and never forgave him. It took me many years before I could even speak to my sister. I can not say that I have forgiven her but I can say that we are able to speak to one another now. We are not as close as sisters should be but we do have enough of a relationship that our children are able to know one another. I think that the only reason I made the step to talk with her was because she is family and her children are related to my children. She is not a sister that I tell my secrets or even my troubles to now like when we were younger but we do speak occasionally. I think that forgivness is all in he people who are involved. It is easier though to try and forgive family then someone who is not.
• United States
26 Feb 07
I think that for mental and spiritual well-being, the victim should forgive everyone involved...both sister and husband. She shouldn't let the wrong eat at her or control her life. Even so, forgiving is not easy...it takes some discipline to let go. As far as letting the incident affect a relationship, that is another story. I don't think that forgiving is the same as forgetting. Certain things will bring the incident to mind and I doubt that the victim will ever be able to fully trust her sister or husband, again. They both have a weakness and the victim should be aware of that. I know that I would never be fully trusting of either of them.
• United States
26 Feb 07
I wouldn't be able to forgive either of them, and the relationship I had with my sister would be long gone. For them to be able to do that, I mean, it's like they totally disrespected you and that could never completely leave your heart. I would divorce and try to move on. I know it's hard at first, I had a similar experience, but try to trust and love again. My prayers are with you in this time of need. *HUGS* :o)
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
26 Feb 07
i believe that blood is thicker then water but to have this happen it would be really hard to forgive either. it does take two and one is no more at fault then the other
1 person likes this