Need Help in accepting a proposal

February 26, 2007 9:43am CST
I am guy of 23 yrs old.. and am proposed by one of my colleagues.. whom i know since 3 months.. She is good looking as well as good natured ... But till now i had never thought of her in that way and we used to be good friends.. Pls suggest me what to do?
2 responses
• Canada
26 Feb 07
Ok my opinion is this ... BE HONEST!! If you have only known eachother for 3 months thats not very long at all. Whats the rush?? Also the main thing is you have never seen her as more then a friend and she needs to know that. If you only have friendship feelings for her then why would you even be thinking of accepting a marriage proposal from her? Marriage is for people who are in love, are soulmates, and can't live without eachother. If you just see this girl as a friend then the answer my friend is NO.
• India
27 Feb 07
Thank u for ur suggestion. purple teddybear
@trinihd (996)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Purple Teddybear makes some very good points. There is no rush, and if you only thought of her as a friend before, then there is no point in considering marriage. You put your title as "need help in accepting" though and I wonder why you feel that you should accept rather than reject this proposal. I think if you are truly honest with yourself and realise that you have no feelings of love for this person, then acceptance should be out of the question. Sounds like you should be asking for help in "letting her down easily" but maybe I am wrong. I think you need to have a serious discussion with her to explain what your values are in terms of marriage. Explain that you believe three months is too short a period for two people to get to know each other enough to be sure they want to spend the rest of their lives together, unless they want to risk ending up in divorce court, because if that's what you are going for then, sure, go ahead, but beware of the added risks! Just imagine this: 3 months is too short for a normal courtship, now think how much less rational it would be to accept as sufficient 3 months in which you have not been deliberately attempting to get to know each other on a level where you can be satisfied that you want to be together forever. That sounds to me like the ingredients for a relationship disaster. Have you been out with her at all? Do you have long discussions with her? Do you know each other's personal history? What about your relationship history? Do you know all the things she likes and dislikes? Are you prepared to deal with those things coming in blindly like this, if you don't know the answers? You must be a hero if you are prepared! What about your expectations for this marriage? Does she want kids? Do you? Have you really thought this through to the point where you really want help to*accept* her proposal?
• India
27 Feb 07
Thanks a lot trinihd... u have shown me a way .. inever thought of .. i'll come to a conclusion once i recap all of these