parents and childrens friendship
February 27, 2007 12:17pm CST
I'm wondering how close is too close? My stepson recently moved out of his mother home without telling her okay he ran away. Why? because she would not break up with her boyfriend. I have had my problems with this child as if he is punished for something he gets mad because I was a stepchild and know a lot of his tricks so he tries to dish out ultimatums. He was punished by her boyfriend for something I don't what and don't care he is an adult and should be shown respect. so now he expects his mom to leave him because of this. He has given this option to my boyfriend and to his grandpa also only they didn't give in. A week later he is still gone and the only one that has yelled at him is me I'm not even a parent and I had to take care of it. His response he laughed and got mad at me. Oh well I have broad shoulders. If this was they only rpoblem I wouldn't worry but he has been in trouble in a few schools and throws a fit until he gets his way which always works. What would you do as a parent? What about as a step- parent.
• United States
27 Mar 07
Being a parent, having a husband that is a step parent I will give you my choice to the situation. My husband and I believe that no matter who you are if you are an adult you get the up most respect. This child may have been through something rough with this boyfriend that he's not telling anyone about, however the way you are putting it is that he just wants his way. Maybe he still believes that the parents will get back together, or maybe that he can make them get back together. My advice is that the whole family sit down with this child and explain to him that you cannot always get your way in life. That every person on earth makes they're own decisions and that no matter what he does he cannot expect them to change they're hearts and feelings on a whim. He needs to be taught a lesson and realize that he is wrong. Sometimes you just have to be mean to get children to listen. Not by physical force however, but by rough love. Just keep faith in the boy and remember he is just a child he will learn someday. SilentRose
• United States
29 Mar 07
The thing is we never know what the truth is with this boy. He will lie to your face and not even feel bad. I have bought every birthday and Christmas gift except one for the last four years I get no thank you and he truly believes dad gets it for him even after being told otherwise. I was cooking a big supper of fried chicken one night (his Favorite) and while I was turning the chicken a spoon feel out onto a corner of a burner it did not look hot so I picked it up it burned into my finger and he laughed and laughed, he makes the girls fight for his humor, and he repeatedly tries to start arguments between his father and I. His dad feels guilty because he can't be there full time like he is for the girls but we have offered to add on a room for him and he always refuses. I know what I deal with when he doesn't get what he wants so I'm sure the boyfriend gets the same thing after this episode his dad has finally seen the light and realized how spoiled he is. He probably does want his mom and former step dad back together but making everyone around him miserable is not the solution. I have spoken to his mom since the incident and she was trying tough love on him and he doesn't like and has never faced discipline so he got his way. He also stole $8.00 from his 5 year old sister that my daughter originally got blamed for I searched all of her stuff and then I remembered seeing him playing with her bank, we called he admitted and was supposed to come down the next weekend and apologize and recieve punishment he didn't come and nothing ever came of it he mailed the money back to her. He only visits when he wants something (e.g. Christmas, Birthday, fishing, hunting) We try to allow him freedom because he is almost sixteen but I feel he needs to earn it at this point. He was even kicked out of school for a few days last year because he was disrespectful to the principal at a Christmas program, His punishment call his dad place all blame on principal and laugh. He's past the point of talking he needs repercussions. I had to explain to his dad and grandpa that it doesn't matter to me what his mom does with him, but my primary concern is he has no work initiative we can ask them to pick up sticks to mow the yard and he will hide until its done and run to the stack and stack them when dad comes out to look like he's done something, but also what if he goes to work and has a disagreement with a co worker or employer his instinct is to run he'll never have a job, and his disrespect of elders will probably prevent him from obtaining it in the first place.