If your partner doesn't work should they do a bigger share of housework?

@pilbara (1436)
Australia
February 28, 2007 7:02pm CST
If one a married couple has a full time job and the other doesn't. Is it reasonable of the one who is working to expect the other to do a greater share of the housework regardless of gender?
8 responses
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
1 Mar 07
It's more than reasonable, it should be the default. If one person is working the other should be putting in the same amount of work at home as the working one puts in at work. My exwife stayed at home and during the last year of our marriage I would get home from work and she would leave leaving me to make dinner bath our child do dishes and generally tidy up. Once a week or so she does (we still live together unfortunately) and did go on a cleaning frenzy and actually do a pretty good job of cleaning up, but other then that it was all my work despite the fact I worked all day and she did not. Now when our daughter was a baby I was much more understanding of this, but as our daughter became more independent my wife became less willing to do housework. It became on of many major issues that defined the last year of our marriage.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Mar 07
Thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear that.
• United States
1 Mar 07
Yes, if one of the spouses is going to stay home full time, that should include household chores. I dont think its fair to sit home while your partner works..then make them come home and clean the house. If you're gonna stay home - you work at home.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Mar 07
That is what seems fair to me as well
• United States
1 Mar 07
I would have to say yes to this discussion. It wouldn't be fair for the one spouse that is at home all day - doing nothing - or doing whatever to expect the other spouse to come home after working all day, clean, cook and do laundry. It would really be unfair and that could lead to many arguments and leave the working spouse feeling totally unappreciated and taken advantage of. I think it would only be the right thing to do. Even if the spouse that is staying home couldn't cook, it would be great for that spouse to at least put forth the effort.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Mar 07
I agree, I think this way as well
• United States
1 Mar 07
Yes. Im a stay at home mom, i do the housework, cooking and take care of the kids. Although i do expect my husband to take on some of the heavier household chores, and taking out the trash. However he goes through periods of time where he isnt working, and during those times, he is expected to step up and take on more responsibility with the house chores and the child. I still do the cooking, because well frankly he cant cook and has no desire to learn. And we are ok with that.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 07
Yes, if one person is staying at home, they should do more of the household responsibilities. It doesn't seem fair at all for the person working a full time job to have to come home and do half the house work when the other person has been at home all day! I don't think that gender has anything to do with it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Mar 07
Cheers to that. I have the same dilemma too. I work my partner doesn't because he is finishing college. We used to live separately but his mother would prefer us to live in their house together with them to save. But there's just too much in their house. Of course i did not share my part because we now live 25 miles away from work and i'm paying more for commuting that far instead of renting to the area close to my workplace. Now double time for preparation. And I kindda don't liek it because his mother is kind of jealous that i'm spending my money to the trips and other holidays. She said that I should be giving my part. For what? I don't even eat that much as them. I don't know if i'm being fair or not. But during dates since my partner doesn't work i am the one who spend most of the times.
• India
2 Mar 07
i think any kind of work shd not be forcibly given to anybody...coz if the person itself feels that this is his/her responsibility of doing a task..he /she sd work.....inspite of thinking if he/se is working or not..the other person can expect bt not that much that create humiliation in other partner.
• United States
1 Mar 07
If you are home more you should do the work. You shouldn't "expect" anything.