what would you have done in this situation?

Canada
March 1, 2007 7:03pm CST
My four year old, I love her to pieces but sometimes she drives me batty! Today this morning, for example. She was getting ready to leave the house, and she somehow found an adult pair of scissors. Okay. I asked her nicely to cut paper in the kitchen, so it would be out of the way of us getting ready to leave. She decides to crawl under the kitchen table, and kept saying "mommy come here, come here" and I told her that she cannot cut under the table, and when she's ready to come out from under the table, I will talk to her. Well not only did she come out from under the table, but she came up and cut one of our kitchen chairs. I asked her why she did that, and I took away the scissors. She said she did it to get my attention (this girl is bright lemme tell you!). So I ask you. Did I do the wrong thing by telling her to wait until she came out from under the table?
6 people like this
24 responses
@patgalca (18164)
• Orangeville, Ontario
2 Mar 07
I'm not clear on something here. You said she found adult scissors and you told her to go cut in the kitchen. I am assuming when you told her that you did not know she had adult scissors, am I right? Because I would have taken the adult scissors away from her. Also, if you were getting ready to leave the house, why would she be cutting anything? Shouldn't she have been getting ready? Sorry if I got this wrong, but from what I am reading I would have taken the scissors from her right from the beginning. At that age, adult scissors or child safety scissors, I think they should still be supervised.
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Mar 07
I was standing in the kitchen watching her cut paper - and I left the kitchen for a half second to pick up my other daughter.
1 person likes this
@hartnsoul (558)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
You got a really smart girl in your hands and I'd like to congratulate you for raising one. Although she can be a handful. Mine is only five months old turning six on monday and she's a smart lot as well. She does know how to get attention too. I guess it should be a lesson for us parents to be carefula in how we talk to our children. What we mean by oour words may sound different int heir interpretations. We just might end up laughing when we analyze that in their dictionary of learning what we said really meant otherwise. :)
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I think you were right but could have handled it differently and probably avoided the chair damage..lol Well we all know the scissors were "adult" but like you said you were right there. When she crawled under the table, if you had bent down to her eye level you may have seen the scissors and ended that right there. I probably would have done the exact same thing you did though. How about Nanny 911...lol Kids are tough sometimes, but the smart ones are the worst. They too easily outsmart us. Maybe she could earn a certain amount of Mommy time a day by doing something or behaving or something so she can feel she gets attention. Not saying you don't give her attention, but if it was called her time she would think she was getting extra attention...lol I'm sure that the babies attention causes jealousy and also when your son is having problems she probably thinks he gets all the attention. I think 4 to 6 is a difficult age for some kids it's like having to wean away from moms attention as they grow older and less dependent.
• Canada
2 Mar 07
Its up and down with her. She's never been jealous of Kailani, heck she was happy when she was born - another girl in the house! :)
1 person likes this
@Wanderlaugh (1622)
• Australia
2 Mar 07
I think your instinct was right, but obviously this kid can do her own thinking. In theory, the ideas of kid-handling work nicely, but nobody seems to have noticed that the ideas might not cut too much ice with the kid, particularly if the kid's priorities aren't working like that. That has to be a bit more complex than it looks. I'd do a bit of patient digging about the logic, and why your attention was so important at that moment, under those circumstances. She went to quite a bit of thought and effort to do that.
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
2 Mar 07
No...I think you did the right thing, you don't want to try and talk to her while she is under the table on the floor =) Kids...I amglad to know I am not the only one going crazy some days =)
2 people like this
@linda28 (24)
• Ireland
2 Mar 07
no i think you done the right thing, but perhaps should have said "well mammy will have to take the scissors as it's too dangerous to play with it under the table" if you then put it up on the table she may have come out and played where you told her. Easy to say i know, I have a five year old girls and know exactly just how much hard work they are, but I find the nicely nicely approach works better than shouting, unfortuntaely I tend to forget that soemtimes too, trying to get out in the morning is one os the most stressful times of the day especially if you have to do everything yourself. i start work at 8.30am and it's five minutes drive away. i get up at 6.40am every morning, and I'm still rushing!!
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
2 Mar 07
no, i don't think that you did anything wrong... you can't talk to her while she is under the table anyway... i understand that child always seek for attention and that is what your daughter is doing... i think you need to sit down and have a chat with her... try to explain to her that what she is doing is wrong and that is not the correct way to get attention from you... hopefully, she will not repeat it again in the future...
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
2 Mar 07
No I don't think you did, as Kids need to learn that we do jump when they shout and if they want us they come and talk to us. So as far as I am concerned you did right as I would have done the same as you
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
2 Mar 07
They have child safe scissors that wont cut anything but paper. I would look into it. And I don't think what you did was wrong. I have a 4 year old daughter and I know what you mean.
1 person likes this
@vkbllm (474)
• India
2 Mar 07
Hi... Well this is what we call sweet and sour experience of Parenting! This things really amuse you, dont they? These will are the memories you will cheerish when your daughter will be fully grown up! It will always bring tears with smile on your face in your old age! I find it very amusing always, what about you? Keep sharing more such experience with us! Thank You...
1 person likes this
• Moldova
3 Mar 07
u did the right thing! but kids are kids. u cant do nothing . they allways do what they want to do. so pacience! everything will be good in a couple years!
• United States
2 Mar 07
No, of course not! Children need boundaries, and need to learn how to act in certain situations. Raising children is a very difficult job, but if you slack off, or give your child her way, you never know how she might turn out as a result. Just follow your instincts...
@jen2864 (29)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
There are times that we need to show our children who's the boss but mostly our kids are not asking for that, they simply looking for our undivided attention. When we don't show it to them, that's the start of rebellion and uncontrollable tantrums. I guess sometimes we have to listen to them first and ive them what they want so they feel that they can get our attention without causing a destruction. What you think?
• United States
2 Mar 07
i know how it feels to have a young child that drives you nuts.I dont know where my 2 yr old learned this from(maybe daycare) but lately when i would tell him no about something hed do this short spitting action at me and keep doing it for like a minute.I dont hit my kids so i dont know what to do.I try to tell him thats not nice and to stop and...he does it again.Also lately when i would tell him to pick up his mess...like if he dropped something cuz im try to teach my kids to clean up after them selves...well when i would tell him he would say "oh god mamma"it sounds cute...but it aint cute!!!then he gets to pointing his finger and talking his baby gibberish(talking crap to me).I know he learns all this from daycare!!!!
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
2 Mar 07
call me crazy but I amj too panicky with scissors and knives and forks in my kids hands.I did not allow anything with in thier reach when they couldn't understand it. I think four is too young for her to handle scissors, I would have taken it away immediately. But may be you are in a different situation. My fear may sound irrational but it erupts from a real life incident as one of my hubby's cousine lost her one eye as a knife went in to it, She was bending over a huge package containing mangoes her father was trying to cut open with a knife and the knife's point straight away entered her eye. I met her and thats it, I just can not get over my son or daughter hurting themselves with sharp stuff so all scissors and knives are well beyond their reach. I am always asking my son to be careful with this kind of stuff. May be I am too negative but thats the way I am.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
2 Mar 07
No, you did the right thing to set limits. She did wrong by cutting the chair to get your attention. That is destruction of property. Your property. How would she feel if you wrecked something of hers to get her attention? I bet she wouldn't like it. Did you punish her for cutting your chair? Now I guess you need to make some new rules about using scissors and hurting other people's belongings. PS. I like your new avatar!
• Bangladesh
2 Mar 07
child psychology is very sensitive and parents should think critically before behaving with their children. Why the child is trying to get attention from you? that you should ask yourself. Whether the child is not getting enough of your time? However, more free time with shildren can help improve the condition.
@nowment (1757)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Yes, you did the right thing telling her to wait until she came from under the table, all kids need some kind of boundaries, some kind of discipline, and sure the kids will want attention and often act out when they are not getting it. Children still need to learn there is a time and place for everything. The only thing I wonder about is her age, if she is old enough to be using sharp adult scissors unsuprvised then she is old enough to know better than to cut the chair so it was an action of spite, of striking out for not getting her own way rather than to get attention. Kids do need boundaries. Just not sure why she was under the table with a pair of scissors. It doesn't seem like something most kids who are old enough to be handling scissors on their own would do the under the table thing is usually a younger child's issue, so it very possible she does need something from you and this was a way of retreating.
• United States
2 Mar 07
The first thing you should do is call nanny 911 to get yourself some help. the four-year-old is doing what kids do. You are the parent, and it's about time you took the position seriously. One of your jobs as a parent is to insure that the child is not injured. First of all, the sissors should not have been within reach of the child. Secondly, once you discovered that the child had the sissors, you should have taken immediate action to remove them from her possesion and instructed her that they were dangerous. You would not be bothered with your kitchen chair then.... Get a grip.
@RivahGal (34)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Your post gave me flashbacks to when my son was four. :) I don't think that you did the wrong thing. If you knew what she was going to do, you would have done something different, right? And she's 4 years old...cutting the chair was likely impulsive, she probably didn't plan to do it. Trust your instincts...as the mom of a teen (who still breaks out in hives when she's around 4 year olds!), if you trust your instincts you'll generally do the right thing. Julie Web Manager www.drdavestein.com