Your Bestfriend and your brother together

Philippines
March 2, 2007 10:24pm CST
How would you feel if your bestfriend is dating your brother? True, its seems exciting, knowing that two of the person that you love are happy together. But what if things doesnt work out the way as expected. That would be a bummer. You get caught in between. A huge fight broke up between them and you are in the middle of it all. And your bestfriend wants to call it quits. But to make things worst, your borther still won't give up the fight. Your bestrfiend ran to you and expect your support. Your brother ask for your advice on how to win her back. But knowing your bestfriend, once she made up her mind, there's no turning back. How do you deal with that? How can you soften the blow in telling your borther to give it up?
2 people like this
9 responses
@ZenDove (698)
• United States
3 Mar 07
My best friend dated my brother, who I was very close to. He and I were sharing an apartment and then she moved in. Everything was great for about 2 years. He was struggling to make it as an entertainer and I guess she got tired of waiting and wanted to get married. She started cheating on him, even I didn't know at first. One weekend, she went out of town with this other guy. My brother and I never spoke about it, but I guess we both had a hunch something was going on. He and I went shopping, went to expensive restaurants, a couple of night clubs - we had a great weekend. All the while we never spoke of her. Sunday night, while we were waiting for her to come home, he just looked at me and said "I'm going to fight to get her back." I felt so bad for him. I'd always thought she was a little too materialistic and shallow for him but he loved her so much. Anyway, things got ugly and sad between them. He moved, then I moved. She kept toying with him, keeping him on a string while she waited to see what would happen with the other guy. All through this, she and I continued to hang out together but we never talked about my brother. Finally, he was so down, I called her and told her to just leave him alone. He would be fine, if she would only leave him alone. I told her she owed me that much. She agreed. It took him awhile but he did get over her and his career really took off. When he got famous in our city, she would tell people she used to be his fiancee. She never said how she dogged him and broke his heart several times. She did eventually marry the other guy she was cheating with. She and I were okay with each other, but we never were as close again. After all, he is my brother and my first loyalty will always be with him. I appreciate the fact that my brother never asked me to intercede on his behalf or to find out information for him. For that matter, she never asked me to lie for her or told me any secrets that I couldn't tell my brother. It was a stressful time, but it could have been so much worse. The best thing you could do is stay out of the middle,as hard as that may be to do. Stand by your brother and be there to support him. Don't lie to him, if he asks for help "winning her back", just tell him you don't think that's going to happen. There's no need to put her down but you have to be honest with him. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. It might hurt him at first, but in the long run, it's better that he see things as they really are. Good luck with that situation.
• Philippines
4 Mar 07
Thanks for sharing the experience. Good insight! ;)
@ZenDove (698)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Hey, thanks for the Best Response. I've been back to this discussion to read other posts and completely overlooked that little pen or whatever that logo is supposed to be. Anyway, thanks a lot.
• Philippines
4 Mar 07
Well, if ever that did happen I will tell my brother how my friend feels and tell him to just let her go if he loves her...I will tell both of them that I don't want to get in the middle of their situation and would tell them to work this out themselves..
@lingli_78 (12841)
• Australia
4 Mar 07
well, there is nothing really that you can do except to bring them together and have an open chat with them... you are in a difficult situation as one is your best friend and the other one is your brother... you are caught in between... so, you have to try to be neutral, bring them together and listen to both sides of their story... i know it is not easy... but that is the most that i think you can do and nothing else... i still think that honesty and open communication are the best policy... good luck...
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
4 Mar 07
My best friend and my brother did date. TWist; they're both guys. THe good news is that when they split, they remained friends and I wasn't put in the middle. I don't know what I would do in that situation. I don't think I would take sides. I know my brother would be fine with that. I don't know if my friend would have been fine witht that, however.
• United States
3 Mar 07
Just tell him straight up and to the point. Dont beat around the bush. Let him know that in your opinion and based on past experience, the relationship is a lost cause.
• Canada
3 Mar 07
my brother and best friend dated b4, it didn't bother me at first, you know cuz there was like a bunch of us that use to hang out and me and my brother was 2 of them along with my best friend, so it was all good cuz we was still hangin out and stuff, but then we moved away, they stayed together and she kinda just pushed me outta teh picture, she would call him all the tyme, even when i answer, she wouldn't tawk to me, just ask for my brother and that it, when they broke up, she still didnt call me, not even just to chat, so i kinda figured she was using me to get to him!
@210286 (86)
• India
3 Mar 07
Hi!i'll cartainly talk to my bro about this and make him very clear that this relationship 'll not work so it'll be better for him to leave it and move forward.......as a very long journey of life is waiting for him!!!!! This is the only thing i can do after knowing that my frnd will not change her mind.........i seems this is the best idea.......to handle it.........!!!!
@joby_09 (498)
• Philippines
3 Mar 07
Truth hurts but that reality. I'll go and tell my brother if he asked for my help. Its not that i'm helping my bestfriend more by telling my brother to stop. But i guess my brother has the right to know that that he's going nowhere. My bestfriend doesn't love him anymore, so i should let him know. He'll get hurt for sure. But it'll be more hurting if i don't told him early.
@em1040 (160)
• Philippines
3 Mar 07
heheheh i really can relate to what your talking about. this happened to me.. except that it was my bestfriends cousin i fell inlove with. when i decided to call it quits i called my friend and told her everything..she gave me advices etc.. after we talked her cousin called her and also ask for advice hehehehe she was in between us. i knw it was hard for her so now me and her cousin try not to share our problems or watever to her. im also afraid what if we broke up and there was a party at my bstfriends house and he was there..