Blonde Jokes..c'mon you know you wanna read them!
By coffeeshot
@coffeeshot (3783)
Australia
March 3, 2007 4:30am CST
Two blondes are walking down the street. One finds a compact and bends down to pick it up. She looks in the mirror and says "Wow this person looks familiar". Blonde #2 takes the compact and takes a look for herself. "You dummy, it's me!"______________________
A blonde goes to the doctor and says "when i touch my leg it hurts. when i touch my head it hurts. When I touch my arm it hurts and when I touch my chest it hurts".
The doctor replies "You're a natural blonde aren't you.""yes doctor, why?""You've got a broken finger".
_______________________
A blonde decides to go ice fishing. She sets up her chair and rod and cuts a hole in the ice. A loud voice booms "there's no fish under the ice".
She moves to another section of the ice and sets up again. She cuts a hole in the ice and is about to drop in her line when she hears another loud voice "There's NO FISH under the ice".
Feeling a little frightened, she moves right down to the end of the ice and cuts another hole in the ice. She drops her line in and hears another loud voice say "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE".
"Is that you God?""No it's the manager of the skating rink".
______________
A blonde woman who was trying to sell her car wasn't having any luck. A friend of hers said "I have a friend who works in a car repair shop. Take it to him and he can turn your odometer back to 50,000 miles and then you should have no trouble selling it, but don't tell anyone because it's illegal".
So the blonde takes her car to get the odometer put back to 50,000. A few months later her friend says "Why haven't you sold your car yet?""I'm not selling it now-it only has 50,000 miles on it!!" she replied.
4 responses
@forjosie (1544)
• Indonesia
6 Mar 07
Cold Water
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted ... "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!"
