How would this make you feel?

@KaMlBob (786)
United States
March 3, 2007 2:41pm CST
My in-laws still are in contact with one of my husbands old girlfriends, Heidi. Heidi is successful and I guess owns her own business. Whenever they hear from her or get a call, they tell my husband and they say "Why don't you give her a ring?" and they will toss the paper with her new number on it towards him. They do this right in front of me. They will say things like "She is doing good, she just got a divorce or she just bought a house, here's her new number...". I feel insulted when they do this. As if they are trying to encourage him to start up another relationship with her. When this happens, I act like, "Yes Rick, you should call and see how she is? Aren't you curious?" He never has acted upon it, not once. How would this make you feel? Like they miss her and you don't matter? My sister in law just recently went to her high school reunion, 20 years, She informed Rick and I both that Heidi has not aged well at all. This gave me a little bit of satisfaction! I think I'm terrible for thinking like that though!
4 people like this
8 responses
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 07
Well I have to say that I would be very upset about it and I don't think it is fair or nice of them to do this to you. You are reacting the right way though, but your Husband is probably fed up with it to as you say he has never reacted on it. Maybe he wants to tell his Parents straight that he is not interested and that he does not want her new Number and he does not want to contact her.
1 person likes this
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
5 Mar 07
He is very respectful to his parents, however if he is in a 'mood' he'll actually be willing (if I ask him to) to just tell them "I really don't care!"
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 07
Well that is good at least he sticks by you but I know that it will be hurting you, I think his Parents should be more respectful towards you to.
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
5 Mar 07
For the most part he sticks by me, he hates conflicts and fighting or any type of discord though! He is very mellow in his demeaner, easy going.
@MrsSgtB (289)
• United States
5 Mar 07
It would defiantly bug me. They should take you into consideration and think about how that would make you feel I would want my husband to stand up and say no that is ok but thanks anyways.
1 person likes this
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
5 Mar 07
yep! I suspect next major holiday (Christmas) we will hear it again, I will prep Rick about it, he he..
• United States
4 Mar 07
You have to be secure with yourself and with your relationship. You are the woman he chose! Not her. I truly believe that everything in this life is meant to teach us something. Know you are loved by Rick, you are happy in your marriage and you share a special relationship. Take the higher road, don't let what the in lase are doing bring down your happiness.
1 person likes this
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I know-you are correct in that thinking, however it is this type of thing with them that brings me down as far as my insecurities go.
@Anakata2007 (1787)
• Canada
4 Mar 07
Eww this would drive me crazy. This is actually really rude, but they probably don't realize it, unless they are outrightly trying to be mean. Can you get your husband to talk to them about this?
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
5 Mar 07
ditto to you on the above response, yes! It just makes me feel like they think I am not good enough (I dropped out of college, divorcee with kids, but Rick is too) you know?
4 Mar 07
I would be really upset if this happened to me. Most in-laws have some problems but this seems really horrible. I don't blame you for feeling happy that the girl hasn't aged well, but remember that it probably isn't her who is trying to get your husband to contact her, its probably his parents pushing it.
1 person likes this
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
5 Mar 07
It is his parents...
@carlysle (271)
• Philippines
3 Mar 07
i think what you're feeling is reasonable.. they shouldnt do that.. even if they mean well and just miss her as an ex-girlfriend of your husband.. but doing it right in front of you is an insult.. but at least your husband has not acted on it.. it shows that he has eyes only for you.. hey all of us have their own insecurities... yours is definitely a natural reaction.. :) but just trust your husband and his feelings for you..:)
1 person likes this
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
4 Mar 07
Thank you! I heard she was out of shape really bad and Rick doesn't care for that. So I guess I have one "up" as terrible as that sounds!
@mummymo (23707)
3 Mar 07
Think it's easy to understand why you feel the way you do but looking at it if there are no real problems between you and you're in-laws then they probably don't even realise that they are upsetting you! I stayed friends with my ex-boyfriends family years ago and when I had my first child 8 years later they were the ones who sent gifts and champagne! I think if a couple has split up on civil terms then why should their parents lose their offsprings ex's friendship or vice versa! \if they were doing this behind your back then it would probably concern me more and anyway your husband doesn't seem too interested so why let yourself get upset? Smile and think how much they must trust you to talk about Heidi in front of you!
1 person likes this
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
4 Mar 07
Good point. I can see that view. My son was dating a nice, pretty,sweet girl. They broke up, I was more upset than he was!
@cybergwen (158)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Have you ever talked to your husband about how you feel? I would be pissed. I could deal with an ocasional,oh I talked to so and so, but suggesting that he call her is down right disrepectful.
1 person likes this
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
4 Mar 07
Yes, he thinks it's kind of cr@ppy too. No regard for how I feel, like I am not good enough.