Advice needed on the age difference in my two boy's ...

I think they may be too far apart for alot of play. If you have ever watched siblings with an age difference of more than a few minutes, there is always one who bothers the other because he cannot keep up, doesn't read body language and cannot entertain himself. It might be that you need to help them to find shorter periods of time for the type of play that you are looking for, because to expect them to get along]for more than about an hour at a time is probably asking too much. There interests are alot different, as they should be. I wouldn't force the older to spend more time with the younger and I thin I would create more opportunities for the younger to entertain himself or play with others closer to his own age. With the older of the two entering puberty there will soon be little contact between the two of them, and alot of these issues will solve themselves.

It's hard sometimes to get them to play together because of the age difference. Sometimes explaining to the older child that his little brother wants so much to be like him and that is why he always wants to be around him usually helps the older child want to play more with the 3 year old. Try things that won't seem to much like baby stuff but not to hard for the toddler. Like hide n seek and they have great inter active stuff that you can play with the tv remote. Give the boys about two more years and you will see that there will be a big difference in how they play together. For the better of course till the teenager years then it will be hard once again.

Ok, the 9 year old may play with the 3 year old for a while, but if left to do this all of the time, you may find that he will start coming down to the level of the 3 year old, whic is not desireable. You may want to ask your 9 year old to watch the 3 year old, under your supervision for short periods of time. So that he will he will feel like he is being treated like an older child. Your 9 year old must realize that he is a hero to the 3 year old and therefore the 3 year old will do anything to get attention from the 9 year old. You must also realize, that the 9 year old deserves to live the life of a 9 year old and should not be saddled with play with your brother all of the time. The age gap is big, hope for short periods of time that they play together. You maybe able to get the 9 yo to work on large motor skills with the 3 yo, playing catch or kickball or something similar. Reading to the younger one maybe good to, but if you decide to use the 9 yo as a teacher, make sure he does not get to strict or expect too much

I can relate to you, girl. We are on the same boat. I have 2 kids, as well, both boys, aged 8 and 3. There's never a day that goes by without them fighting. I'm taking care of my kids all by myself, my husband works overseas...the kids really stressed me out. I really can't make them play together because my older kid has a mind of his own already, while the younger one would like to be with me always. If i let them stay in one area, surely they will fight. Just two weeks ago, I decided to enroll them both in a Taekwondo class. Since they both love to fight, why not channel their energy into something. After two session, I noticed some changes with my oldest son, he 's much nicer to his younger brother and he teaches his brother the correct moves. The younger one, surprisingly, listens to his brother. Miracle!

Welcome Angel. I am new here too. I have basically 2 generations of kids. 11, 10, 8 and 7, and the a 21 month old and pregnant with our last one. My oldest is very good with the baby- perfect big brother to him, but makes my 7 yr old scream like a banchee. My 7 yr old is rather immature- I guess from being the baby for 5-6 yrs. He liked to play baby toys with the baby, and enjoys showing him how to play trains and dinosaurs. Mostly my girls act put out when I ask them to play with the baby- I have them each take turns so they all have a bond with him in their own way. One of the girls likes to play house with him, take him for rides in the stroller, etc. I would do what the one mom suggested- ask him to watch his brother for a little bit so you can get something done. Give him suggestions on things he could do with him- playdough, play cars, etc. Obviously if younger brother breaks older brother's toys, there will be resentment, so find something mutual. You are like me in your basically 2 generations. My 7 yr old and 21 month old have a huge gap. I had to suggest to my 7 yr old that he teach the baby how to play trains. He took that job very seriously.

good luck. my little brother and i have an age difference of 8 years, and we dont do anything together. for 6 years, they might not connect until they both are older. give it time, and see how it plays out. the younger one might just be asserting his need to feel superior maybe. idk.

That is the way that boys are and I am certain that you heard all about sibling rivalry both before and since the baby has come. He's still toddling and not quite verbal yet. Give him time! The age difference is a good one. According to sociolingists males interract on a hierarchical level so if they are both boys there is a clear delineation there of who has the superior status in their interractions with one another. Also older brothers at any age barely find babies interesting. After the first few days unless they do something "new" we don't even find them interesting all the time. So I am going to prescribe the cheapest and best medicine for the wait and see approach willies. Time. You have that, because truth to be told whether they absolutely hated one another or not, neither one of them is going anywhere for a while are they?

OMG...there is someone out there that is having the same problem...lol I am in the exact same situation as you. My Oldest daughter is 9 years old and my son will be 3 in Aug. It is insane I tell ya! It was perfect for the first year...my daughter loved the baby and loved helping with him. Not so much anymore. Now that he is a little man and has his little personality...he NEVER leaves her alone. They cant get along, let alone be in the same room for the most part. I will def be watching this post for some advice..cause this is getting a bit much for me as well :) Do you have problems with your oldest sons behaviour now that there is a little one around? My daughter has honestly changed since this one was born. Wondering if you are experiencing the same thing? Good luck!

My oldest two boys are five years apart. They are in two separate worlds because of their ages. For awhile it seemed that they were on two different planets. But the older they get, the more they find some common ground. When they were younger, the youngest idolized his brother and followed him all over, and the older one hated it. Even then, if no one were around - he'd play with his brother. My youngest child is a girl and both of them compete for her attention. So don't be suprised if there is some competiveness between them as they get older too. They'll work it out on their own. Just kind of nudge them occasionally.

First off let me say goodluck to you i have girls that are 10 years apart they are 16 and 6 now and they little one does what ever she can to get her sister attention they drive me crazy some days all i can say is encourage them to do things together don't force them too if you make them it won't work but if you encourage them too they more then likely will. Good luck!

I am 26 and my older brother is 38, soon 39.. there´s a age difference and I have to admit that when I was smaller i didn´t have much contact with him, we had NOTHING incommon - however NOW we are as close as brother and sister can be. I do not know, maybe when the youngest gets alittle older it mght be a bit more easy to get them to interact with eachother,

I'm having sort of the same problem....My kids are 12, 9,8,5, and the girl is 2....the oldest doesn't want anything to do with the middle two, and the middle two won't do anything with the youngest two. It seems like a no-win situation. I started up 'game night' and now that they see that if you have patience and try to 'teach' the younger ones something, that it can be fun, so they are trying harder to get along...but they all still have their moments, lol....but we are getting there...

i have 2 girls 13 and 10 they are 3 years apart. i got my older child to find something they both liked to do and do that with her sister and when shr started to bother her to let me know and i would get my yonger child to do something with me. as they get older it will get better.

find out a common thing that they want to do an involve them both in doing it. have some rewards ready at hand. and always have praises available. =)

Try activities such as fishing. It would be impossible to get the two to play the same toys because of their activities. So try group activities like camping, swimming, etc. Such activities would need a 'leader' and that could be your 9 year old. Meanwhile your 3 year old would be able to look up to her brother.

Hi Angel, welcome to mylot oh yes you will always find that with the big age different of your two sons that the youngest one named in this case Joshua that he will always be annoying Kyle, I think that the best thing you can do is have a talk to Kyle about this and explain that you love the both of them equally but you need him to play just for a little while everyday so that Joshua can learn from him and this way should make it a lot easier.

Maybe find games that they both enjoy like a board game or ball game and then see how they get along. If they still dont then find something that requires co-operation and see how that goes. In time they will get along.