Dealing with a child that has ADHD.

@Mollyjo (268)
United States
March 4, 2007 7:11pm CST
I have a daughter that has ADHD with out the hyperactivity. There is days that I could just pull all of my hair out and then there are days that just go like a dream. Sometimes you can tell her something and she will look you straight in the eyes while you kindly explain somethings to her and she will ask what you said when you are done! It is like she goes into a trance when you are talking to her. If you have a child with ADHD would you please give some inside on how to over come problems with yours I am very open to suggestions. She is age 13 by the way.
3 people like this
17 responses
@vetsmom_rgv (1083)
• United States
5 Mar 07
Ohhh she's 13, I bet you get that alot. But this is my opinion: I do not believe in ADHD! I think it's a bunch of bull. I have two cousins that have that. Their parents are very busy, their dad works two jobs to sustain them. Their mom is a teacher, so some kids bully the boy sometimes. They are both a bit chuncky. Very spoiled and there was about 5 year inbetween them (ages). So they grew up being alone, playing alone. Now that they know they don't have to play alone, they crave the attention. And at times they are calm and are off playing alone again. What I would tell you is to spend as much time as you can with them! Make certain days for just them. Give her activities to do. Little crafts, and don't just buy them for her and let her do it on her own. Go to the store, and pick it out with her. And do it with her as well. Have her read a book to you. Give her a jounal and at the end of the day go through it with her, only the stuff she says you can see. Give her the control. But you control it as well because you give her options! GOOD LUCK!
• United States
6 Mar 07
There's a good book for parents of teens that is a behavioral approach...Stop Medicating, Start Parenting by David B. Stein, Ph.D. http://www.drdavestein.com
• United States
5 Mar 07
I used to have ADHD unlike most I grew out of it. I stopped taking medication and my life took off. But you have to have a great deal of patience when it comes t ADHD or ADD. But somtimes medicine is not the answer, think about it.
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
Hurray for you shakemiester! I would like to hear your story sometime just to find out how i can help my son more. but that's another thread of discussion. Can I add you as a friend instead?
• Canada
5 Mar 07
my son is 6 and has ADHD. i have the exact same problem. i was ready to rip my hair out until i heard about the "feingold diet". i thought , it won't hurt to try it. so i did. basically, you eliminate all artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives. this has worked wonders on my son. we found that certain foods makes my son's behaviour worse. he now doesn't need any ADHD medications.
@Mollyjo (268)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I will try this suggestion I really don't want her to take medicine. I have an uncle that was in the vietnam war and he has taken medicines that stablize his brain and it has just burnt up his brain. I can remember when I was young how he used to drive to town on his own and now he don't know the first thing about driving a car any more.
@RivahGal (34)
• United States
6 Mar 07
Before I became his web manager, the books by Dr. David B. Stein helped us with our son. It is a behavioral approach in his book Unraveling the ADD/ADHD Fiasco. Check out the free info on his website: http://www.drdavestein.com
@vivekk20 (185)
• India
5 Mar 07
you have to deal with these children according to their attention span. that means your daughter have ADHD inattention type. you have to judge her attention span ,say 5 minutes, then you have to tell her things for five minutes , now your daughter distracted. again tell her things for next 5 minutes. same thing can be done in studies.
@babs0818 (1191)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I have a 10 year-old son with ADHD...I have learned to tell my son something twice...If I need him to do something...I have him repeat it back to me,again...and make sure he got what I wanted him to do...so far it has worked a lot better...than before...good luck..I know...it can be very frustrating sometimes...
@jchampany (1131)
• United States
5 Mar 07
My son is 8 and he was diagnosed in the last months of kindergarten. He was a little pretty hyper and his attention span was horrible. The thing is, I never considered ADHD until he was in school. The teacher was constantly having problems with him not paying attention and being off in his own world. After months of trying to tell me that they thought there was a problem and then noticing that the whole year was pretty mucha waste for my son because he just didn't learn much, I took him to a psyciatrist. After a couple of meetings with him he did diagnose my son and we put him Adderol. Since then, he has learned so much and is able to keep on task in school. He is doing much better. He still has self esteem issues and social issues but he is coming along much better in school. Most weekends I do not put him on his medicine unless we are going somewhere that he would need to sit and pay attention or just behave better.
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I have ADD as well as depression. They often go hand in hand. When I was younger we didn't even know what ADD was. I did well in school and graduated early and was class salutatorian. No one would have guessed I had this problem. I could not pay attention at all in class though. I would have to go home and read the book and figure things out on my own. As an adult I've found a few things that help. Meditation, no sugar, low carbs are good. I have also heard that karate and visual training help some people. I have tried Strattera, wellbutrin, and even Sudafed. They all help with the attention but make me moody (possibly because of the depression). The low carb diet even brings on the depression for me. The best thing I have found to help me with the ADD is meditation. Is she seeing a specialist?
@RivahGal (34)
• United States
5 Mar 07
Your daughter sounds like my son years ago. We used a non medication approach by Dr. David B. Stein, a psychologist who writes books on ADD/ADHD. We were concerned about the side effects of medications, such as weight loss and heart problems. If a kid isn't hungry after taking the meds, then lack of a good diet and contribute to attention problems and the body and brain isn't getting all of the nutrients it needs to grow properly. We used Dr. Stein's Caregivers' Skills Program, a behavioral approach. I would say that it worked miracles, but the miracle took effort on our part! He has a website at http://www.drdavestein.com He has lots of free info on his website. I should disclose that I am the web manager for Dr. Stein's website. However, I only have been doing that since Dec. 8, 2006. I used his program with our son 6 years ago when I didn't even know him! We live 2 hours apart. At least read his website and see if there's something there can help you. Julie
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I have a 9yo son and if you look at my questions I've asked, I just asked something similar the other day. Sometimes it feels as if you are talking to a wall. At least with a wall you are not expecting a response. I have tried bargaining with my son, making deals, having rewards. It's as though none of it matters. One minute he is making deals with me and the next minute he has done the exact thing he wasn't supposed to. He just recently got placed in Gifted class and got to check out books from the Jr High Library.. guess what?? He lost all 3.. can't remember where they are....sooo frustrating. Sorry I couldn't help, but if you ever need a sympathetic ear, feel free to msg me.
@DavidReedy (2411)
• United States
5 Mar 07
The universal problem with all human behavior is this: We operate on patterns, we learn something and we reinforce it. The more we think something, the stronger that thought becomes. A person, regardless of any kind of diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, will focus on something if they have to. Now, I don't want to misinterpreted, I'm not evil, apathetic, uncaring, etc. But a few decades ago, you never heard of ADD or ADHD and it wasn't a problem at all. Why? Because if we didn't listen to our parents we got smacked. No, I'm not suggesting corporal punishment. Far from it. Point is, reward the behavior you want, and do not reward the behavior you don't want. It's really that simple.
@catcai (1057)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
I really don't have a child with ADHD but i have worked with kids with ADHD and i do know what your going through...our school was almost set on fire by one of our ADHD students. Im really not that familiar with your case though, ADHD without the hyperactivity...Well what i can suggest to you is to give your daughter structure- a list of things she's supposed to do everyday with a set of instructions so she remembers what shes supposed to do- even its becoming her routine. As i have learned, ADHD kids are tactile learners, meaning they just cant immediately absorb what is being said to them verbally, they need some sort of physical stimulation, like for example make sure that when you are explaining something to your daughter- you hold her arm or hands, until you get her attention so she can process this information more clearly. Just continue to be patient to her and make sure you let her feel how much you love her- i think theres nothing that a parents love cannot do to help their child in conditions like these.
• United States
5 Mar 07
This is a very sensitive subject. My son was diagnosed as ADHD when he was 5. I am from the old school though and I just don't agree with labels. At school my son acted a fool but at home he had no problems sitting in front of the TV and watching his favorite shows or playing video games all day. I just couldnt believe that a kid who was ADHD could spend 2 hours sitting in front of a TV with no problems. I couldnt accept that he was hyperactive when i couldnt get him to run from one end of the yard to the other, but at school my goodness the boy wouldnt sit still. he was in so much trouble all the time. It didnt make sense. I took him to many different doctors, even medicated him at one point and he became a little zombie. I finally took him to a behavioral modification therapist who practices choice theory. My son is not ADHD and through the help of behavior modification, my son's behavior at school has improved significantly. He has been medication free for 2 years, and when he acts a fool at school, he knows the consequences.
• India
5 Mar 07
its a sensitive matter to deal with , only thing i couls say , these child needs care , no othere could cure them ,, dont loose hope ,,
@coolchai (724)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
hello there, i have attended a seminar on ADHD there are several qualifications before you can say that a person is ADHD. my son who is 3 before when i attended the seminar. he has all the symptoms of ADHD but i also took the advise of his developjmental pedia. he is not though diagnosed as ADHD he is just in his stage of tantrums. he is now give an occupational therapy and speech therapy. and he must be assessed again. so i think you may consult a developmental psychologist who can assess your daughter. she maybe in her pre-teen years that may also be said as normal and NOT ADHD at all. goodluck!
@sammantha (278)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I am an adult that has it now and as a child.It is actully just that I can remember the first thing and the last thing my momused get made at me to. She thought that I was not paying attendtion to her.I can remember that she told me to get something by the time I got there I had forgotten what it was.It feel like you are walking in a fog if I don't write it down I will never remember what I needed at the store.So my mother in law do the shopping for us.Be patient with her.It will never go away but it will getr better in time.I also have some learning problems too.It is going to be had for her when she gets older in school with all kids being kids.But you have to tell her thats not her they just understand whats going on.Its hard for me to talk infront of people.It is had to get a point across at times.You know what you want to say but you can't find the words.I wished the best to you all and I hope that this helps some.
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
My son is 15 and has ADHD primarily of the inattentive-type. I always have to remind him of what he can and can't do. We have a schedule of his daily activities during schooldays and another for weekends. We can only study his lessons for a maximum of 2 hours each day and we have 5-minute breaks in between subjects. Anything over that duration he can't absorb any more. He is hyperactive so i let him sing and dance for about an hour just to burn some excess energy. And then he reads his favorite books after dinner to get his energy level down.