i have one kid and i am thinking of having another one.

@eminyone (113)
United States
March 5, 2007 2:11pm CST
i have a daughter that is 16 months old and i am thinking of having another one. i am kinda scared because the first one went so easy. the only problem is that i ahve an iud and i would have to have it removed. thats going to cost me $100. i just cant make up my mind. i dont want my daughter to be lonely and she is when noone is here to play with. she likes other kids and my friend was here for a week with her son and she loved it. do you think that is a good reason to have a kid just so she wouldnt be lonley? my boyfriend wants one too. i just cant make up my mind.
2 people like this
16 responses
@Clairec23 (136)
• Ireland
6 Mar 07
If you have a lot of doubts then don't do it but it's great that you are putting so much thought into what is best for your daughter. I had a baby two weeks ago and my son is two and a half, I wanted them to be a year apart but it took me a while to get pregnant. Both pregnancies were horrible but most definitely worth it. I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to take care of my son properly if I had a bad pregnancy but to be honest we became even closer because as I was taking things easy, I had more time to spend with him which was great. I was also worried about jealousy and when my daughter was born, my son wouldn't look at me when he came to visit me but as soon as we got home he became fascinated with his little sister. She's obviously too young to be a playmate for him but he seems to really like having someone else around and the novelty of helping me change nappies, etc seems to be really bringing out another side in him. Funnily enough, I've found it much easier to look after this baby, maybe because I've done it before. Things are going really well so far and I definitely am glad at how everything has worked out. Personally, I'm glad that I wasn't an only child and my youngest brother is so much younger than the rest of us that he is the only one living at home and sometimes he gets lonely. My mother regrets not having another one after him. I think that having more than one child gives them a good chance of understanding about sharing and things like that earlier although sending your daughter to a creche or playschool would help too. If you are prepared to spend quality time with two children then go for it but make sure that you really do want another baby first. If you really can't make up your mind, then think about it for another few months, you may decide to wait a bit longer before trying for a baby again. It can be hard to be pregnant when you have a young child but if you get help and support from your boyfriend or family and friends then it should be no problem.
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
7 Mar 07
i know i am still thinking about it. i am the kind of person that it takes a while to make my mind up about everything. but i think i am going to do it, maybe. good luck with your new baby!!
@clod0327 (817)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
If you think you can afford another child, then go for it. I have a 15 month old daugther and I'm also thinking if I should have another baby now or wait for some more years. The only consideration I'm taking into account is if we can really afford to have another baby now. I think it's true that as our kids grow old, they would love to have another sibling to play with, to share their stories, etc. I have two siblings and I can say that it's fun to have sisters & brothers around you.
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
7 Mar 07
i know i had 2 brothers. the money thing doesnt really bother me. good luck to you
@jojogirl (289)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
as long as you can provide the necessary financial and emotional support, go ahead girl! babies are blessings... having a younger sibling for your 16month old baby has advantages and disadvantages. first, the positive effects: your baby will have a playmate and your burden as a mother to terrible twos and threes will be over in four-year time (that is if you do not decide to have another child, again, next next year). now, the disadvantages. first, if your daughter becomes an elder sister at the age of two, she may not understand why in the world her mom is taking care of another baby when, for the past two years, she had you all by herself. two year olds can be very possessive. i just hope your daughter is not the jealous type, or else, all hell will break loose. secondly, are you physically and mentally capable to fight the stress that may be brought about by having to take care of two babies at the same time? one time, my four year old girl told me that she wants to have a younger sibling, but when i told her that i may no longer be able to give her all my attention if a new baby arrives, she changed her mind.
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
7 Mar 07
i thought about that too, she doesnt seem to be jealous when i mess with other kids or babies. she likes other kids for now. i dont know what iam going to do i am still amking my mind up.
• Canada
5 Mar 07
i ve a daughter 2+ n we r also sort of thinking of becoming a parent again...difference between two siblings must be enough so that u can cope up with the extra work coming ur way...it would be quite challenging to handle 2 kids with less age dif..ur daughter's age is too demanding right now...why not wait a little bit more n take her to playgroups etc..take ur time to get mentally prepared to handle 2 children...
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
5 Mar 07
she would be almost 2 if i had another baby. if i do it its not going to be like right now. i have to make an appointment, get my thing taken out, then i dont know how long it will take.
@Joey322 (272)
• United States
5 Mar 07
i think a sibling for her is a great idea! as long as you can afford a second child, then why not?? i am concerned about your not wanting to pay $100 to remove your IUD, yet you are thinking about another child. if $100 means that much to you, then maybe you should wait until your finances are a little better??? just a thought. in the meantime, make playdates for her with other kids in the neighborhood. find a toddler play class to go to or a park and meet other parents with kids similar in age. hope this helps! take care.
@eminyone (113)
• United States
5 Mar 07
$100 isnt that important to me. my kid comes first and she gets whatever she needs.
• United States
5 Mar 07
Personally, I would wait. My first 2 were 3 years and 1 month apart and they are the best playmates for each other. My 2nd and 3rd were 27 months apart and that was really hard on my body and my sanity.
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
5 Mar 07
i thought about that too. thats what really worries me i dont know if i can handle 2 of them. there would be almost 2 year differance between them.
• United States
5 Mar 07
For a while I wanted my daughter to be an "only" child. But, I didn't want her to be lonely. I wanted her to have someone she could depend on in cause something happened to us (her parents). I think having a second child will really make a difference.
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
5 Mar 07
i do to.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
5 Mar 07
Unless a child is part of a set of twins, they are going to have to find their own playmates. Having a sibling doesn't create a shield against lonliness but does add stress to the child rearing process for many people. She is terribly young but you might see about getting a playgroup started where she could be around other kids about her age. She will only play nearby at first and won't beoome extremely social until she is about 3 years old. With a playgroup you don't have another mouth to feed unless you are in charge of snacks that day. Sometimes obstacles, like the one you have with getting your IUD removed, are little signs that the timing for something isn't right yet. Consider your options carefully.
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
5 Mar 07
she is very social, she isnt shy at all. the iud last for 5 years
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I say go for it!! As long as your boyfriend won't be mad!! Both of my pregnancies were pretty easy, well the delivery anyways, with my son ( my second) I had horrible mornong sickness. But other than that is was great!! I love that my kids play together and they are 4 years apart!
1 person likes this
@eminyone (113)
• United States
5 Mar 07
yea i think i am going to do it. i was sick everyday with my daughter.
• United States
6 Mar 07
well, it can be a scary thought, but - you could remove the IUD yourself! I have a dear friend who just did this. Would make sure to be very gentle and if bleeding incurs, go to the urgent care center asap. otoh, I think you should wait to have more children until you are wed and in a lifelong committed relationship. it's not fair to the child/ren to have parents who can't even make a legal commitment to be with each other forever - causes insecurities for them.
@eminyone (113)
• United States
7 Mar 07
well i wont remove mine by myself. it is up there and you can seriously hurt yourself. secondly i am in a long term relationship we have been together for over 7 years. i dont want to get married thats why i am not. marrage is just a piece of paper and nothing more. just becasue you get married doesnt mean you are going top be together forever. i know people that just got married and they lasted 3 months now they have to get divorced. its not fair for the kids to go threw a messy divorce either. marrage doesnt last forever!
@switlyf (649)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
you know what?we have the same situation only that it took me 5 years to have another baby because i cant make up my mind..my eldest went so easy just like you that's why i got scared that if i got pregnant i will have a hard time in the delivery room but fortunately i dont..you should have another now because if you wait for lets say in my case 5 years well your eldest will be looking for playmates her age..
• India
6 Mar 07
the best policy is to "have one,adopt one".we can get the choice as well.i mean if first child is boy,we can go for girl and vice versa...
• Pakistan
6 Mar 07
Well that would be good enough to have two kids while considering their father is same. As otherwise your daughter could be in more trouble somehow.
@kurasuda (90)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
go gurl, why not? ur so lucky with ur boyfrnd... ur daughter dserve to have a sis or bro.
• India
6 Mar 07
it is better 2 adopt one more child than 2 give birth 2 a new one. atleast one orphan will get parent to look after. it is better for ur daughter also. she wll get one classmate also
@shila07 (514)
• Bhutan
6 Mar 07
Be confident to your self, its good that you are thingking to have another baby, but you have to wait till your first child become 3 years so that it will be easier and good for your health after three years. That time will be perfect. Secondly, its absolutely right to have another baby,so that your daughter will have friend and will not be lonely. I wish that you should have baby when your first child is 3 years old. Best wishes.