Do people introduce you as the "Pastor's Wife"? How does that make you feel?
By palmersb
@palmersb (21)
United States
March 5, 2007 8:17pm CST
Are you married to the pastor? How do people introduce you to others? Do they say "This is my pastor's wife"? Or do they introduce you by using your first name.
Have you ever introduced someone else as the "Pastor's Wife?" Do you have any idea how that makes someone else feel?
I have always wondered why people just don't use my first name. Does that mean we are not really personal friends? Does that mean that the person does not know how to relate to you other than the role as a pastor's wife?
4 responses
@susanna80 (12)
• United States
27 Aug 07
It does not bother me at all to be labeled "our Pastor's Wife"; however, the people that do it always say my name first. I don't think a pastor's wife is ever personal friends with anyone in the church but I do know what you are saying. I am from a part of the US that is not only colder in temperature but the people are also colder :) So if you are not family you better get used to living a more lonely life.
• United States
16 Oct 12
That is why there are more pastor's wives around that you can talk to who understand. Being a pastor's wife does not have to be lonely if you look at it from another perspective. Your congregation can become your family, with new Nana's, Grandpa's, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and children to love as your own. I understand that you may not be able to confide in your church members about personal issues, so befriend another pastor's wife who believes the same as you do and can totally relate,( who you can trust not to blab).
• United States
16 Oct 12
That is why there are more pastor's wives around that you can talk to who understand. Being a pastor's wife does not have to be lonely if you look at it from another perspective. Your congregation can become your family, with new Nana's, Grandpa's, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and children to love as your own. I understand that you may not be able to confide in your church members about personal issues, so befriend another pastor's wife who believes the same as you do and can totally relate,( who you can trust not to blab).
• United States
16 Oct 12
That is why there are more pastor's wives around that you can talk to who understand. Being a pastor's wife does not have to be lonely if you look at it from another perspective. Your congregation can become your family, with new Nana's, Grandpa's, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and children to love as your own. I understand that you may not be able to confide in your church members about personal issues, so befriend another pastor's wife who believes the same as you do and can totally relate,( who you can trust not to blab).
@Tam631 (32)
• South Africa
1 Oct 07
I really don't mind being introduced as "The Pastor's wife" - but I do mind when they don't say my name. I am an individual and have the right to be so - not just a title. I enjoy being the pastor's wife and enjoy all that my position (by marriage) entails. BUT I do have beef with all the expectations on us... we never went to school to become "a Pastor's wife'!! And some people actually expect us to know more, be more and be great at it... meanwhile we are just like they are.
Just my 2cts!
@rndistgg (109)
• United States
6 Mar 07
They could be kindof hinting at "watch what you say, she's a pastor's wife". My friend is a pator's daughter and that's the first thing she said to me.
I know what that's like, I was in a similar situation. I was in High School with my older sister and I was ALWAYS referred to as "Kimber's sister" by students AND teachers constantly. Even my own friends would say to their parents "I'm going over to Kimber's house" Even though they were hanging out with me. It was upsetting and those friendships didn't last long. They just wanted to be associated with someone else and went through me. So maybe with you they're kindof like "Hey, I'm good friends with the big popular man's wife" Who knows. It could be an easier way to introduce someone and it's easier to remember you as the pastor's wife than by name.
@luvmypappy (23)
• United States
15 May 07
It has never bothered me that I may be referred to as "The Pastor's Wife", but I tell you what does bother me- when someone refers to me as "Pastor" Molly. I know this is a growing trend today, but I have never been comfortable with that title. In my opinion, Pastoring is not a TEAM effort, although a marriage is. The local church should have ONE authority figure and that is THE Pastor. Although his wife should carry more authority than anyone else in the congregation, she should not carry equal authority with him. I consider my husband my Pastor as well, and I respect his authority as such. On the same note, I do believe it's a little disrespectful for the congregation to use only your first name without at least the word "Sister" in front of it. We fellowship with several prominantly African American congregations in our area as well, and the term "First Lady" is used there a lot. They refer to me as that. I'm not quite sure what to think of that yet. I know that it is done out of the highest respect, and I'm humbled and appreciative of it, but, the jury's still out on that particular title with me!:)
