We Want To Know Why

Australia
March 6, 2007 1:35pm CST
We have toothbrushes, but no toothcombs. Why not? Shouldn't we have toothcombs in order to sort out the tangles in our teeth? I had this thought while listening to one of my favourite songs, Jakey Sleebin's "Tangles In My Teeth". I'm sure you know it: I have tangles in my teeth And they make me so sad I have tangles in my teeth Since I went to Hyderabad I have tangles in my teeth Because of my woman I have tangles in my teeth I hope she develops a cyst Jakey Sleebin, of course, was one of the original 'Old Romantics', a group of innovative artists and musicians who tried to recapture a sense of a time that had not yet happened. It was a short-lived movement, lasting from around 1961 to later that same day, when most of the leading exponents were eaten by wolves. Sleebin, however, lived until well into the following week, taking up Buddhism late in his life, only to be disappointed when the Dalai Lama sent him an abusive letter. His suicide note read, "I am as I have always been yohoho Little John". Scholars have argued for decades over the meaning of this, often in grating, nasal voices. One thing that is not in doubt is Sleebin's passion for the cause of good tooth-grooming. He wrote several thousand books on the subject, most of them in bright green ink. He worked for many years to prove his theory that toothbrushes were in fact the proximate cause of the English Civil War. Many of his closest friends believe his early death was a blessing, as two hours later an archaeological find in Egypt proved without doubt that not only was he wrong about this (the English Civil War was caused by a primitive form of mechanised cow), but that he had been wrong about almost everything else he had ever said, and one of the ancient world's most advanced civilisations had dedicated themselves almost solely to showing him up. These close friends say Sleebin would have found this embarrassing, although their veracity has been called into doubt after analysis showed that all of them were in fact the same close friend assuming a variety of northern European accents. He is still believed to be at large. What is your opinion?
1 response
• United States
15 Mar 07
Sleebin the Pederast, as he was known to us in Leftward Joblonskia, had some of the straightest, most stylish teeth we had ever seen. We are a poor country. We have no dentists, just sheepherders with steady hands and not as much of a facial tic as others. We looked at his teeth as God's own! We are sad at his passing, as now little Gretchetzcscski has no "happy uncle" to visit her and pay us in sheep and laxatives.